


Not Yet

by ssa_archivist



Series: Promise [2]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Drama, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-15
Updated: 2003-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-01 11:31:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 47,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Promise.'  About six months have passed and the boys trade Smallville weirdness for Metropolis weirdness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Yet

## Not Yet

by Ruby

<http://www.geocities.com/rubyswritings>

* * *

Disclaimer: If they were mine, I wouldn't be writing about them... I'd be watching and cheering them on. 

Archive: Sure, just let me know where. 

Pairing: Clark/Lex 

Category: first time, drama 

Rating: NC-17 

Spoilers: really vague ones. 

Summary: Sequel to Promise. About six months have passed and the boys trade Smallville weirdness for Metropolis weirdness. 

Feedback: Oh, please... please... pleeeease. Okay that was a little embarrassing. 

Author's notes: For everyone who sent me such wonderful praise and feedback for Promise, I want to say thank you. It was a bit startling and absolutely amazing. I just loved it, couldn't get enough. And well, I want _more_. A great big `Thank you' to Lady Angel, Earthseed, and a special one to Gary. (More author's notes: Tommy's is a restaurant in Los Angeles, California and a tribute to my childhood. Please forgive the indulgence.) 

* * *

Walking into the penthouse, Lex found Clark exactly where he expected him to be, exactly where he'd been every Sunday morning for the past two months. After picking up the paper and checking for messages in his office he would come back to find Clark sitting in the living room with a cup of coffee. Normally the scene would have made Lex grin. But this wasn't normally and he wasn't grinning. 

"What the fuck is this?" He demanded as he threw the newspaper down on the couch next to Clark. 

"Umm, the Sunday paper," Clark hedged, looking warily between the paper and Lex. He didn't know what had gotten Lex this mad and he really didn't think that he wanted to find out. Standing up in the hope of escaping, Clark was startled when Lex pushed him back down with a hand on his chest. 

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me why you failed to mention that you saved an entire family from carbon monoxide poisoning last night." 

Oh shit. He had hoped that Lex wouldn't find out about that. It wasn't really a big deal and it's not like he _planned_ it or anything. He'd been minding his own business and leaving the party Brian, his roommate, had insisted he go to when he noticed that something just wasn't right. 

The air smelled weird or maybe it felt weird, he wasn't sure. So walking down the street with the noise of the party fading behind him and the Ferrari somewhere in front of him, Clark started scanning the houses as he passed. He'd been dividing his attention between not running into a tree and x-raying the bedroom of a house when he stopped dead. He had to squeeze his eyes shut and force himself to keep walking when he saw a man yelling and raising a hand to hit his wife. 

"Can't save the world," Clark mumbled to himself over and over as he continued down the street. His parents and Lex had told him that more than once and he knew it was true but that didn't stop him from wanting to try. It also didn't stop him from wanting to storm into that room and show the man what it felt like to get hit by someone bigger and stronger than he was. 

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Clark concentrated on his current task and was rewarded three houses later. He noticed a couple slumped on the couch at an odd angle and when he breathed in he recognized the smell and signs of a gas leak. 

He vaulted over the fence and super-speeded into the house. The locked door gave easily under his hand but it did set off the alarm. Clark ignored it. He planned to be long gone before the cops arrived and it would save him the trouble of having to call 911. 

Racing in and out of the house, Clark deposited the husband, wife, twin little girls, two dogs, and a parakeet on the front lawn. They were unconscious but breathing as he made one last trip to turn off the gas. It really wouldn't do much good getting them out of the house if the whole neighborhood blew up. 

Hearing the sirens, Clark ran, jumped in the Ferrari, and waited. He didn't pull away from the curb until the police had surrounded the family and called an ambulance. With all the commotion he didn't think anyone had seen him but apparently it didn't matter because Lex was standing over him looking particularly menacing and wanting an explanation. 

Clark figured it would be better to just be honest since Lex would get the truth out of him eventually. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd find out. And I thought that maybe we could skip the whole `you need to be careful, not to mention more selective of who you save' lecture." 

It was an old argument. Lex knew Clark wanted and would try to save everybody he came across but it just wasn't _practical_. "Listen," Lex said as he sat down on the coffee table in front of Clark, "I..." 

Clark cut him off. "If it makes you feel any better, I was. Selective, I mean," he clarified sounding only a little bitter. 

"The paper said everyone was fine, even their parakeet. Are you saying there was someone else in the house?" Lex asked. 

"No, not in the house but there was someone else." Clark leaned back, feeling very tired and very much like he failed. "When I was looking for the house with the gas leak, I saw some guy beating up on his wife. I... I shut my eyes. I didn't do anything. I just walked away and didn't do anything to help." 

Jesus, the poor kid blamed himself for every villain and victim on the planet. "You did the right thing Clark. There's probably nothing you could have done for her anyway." 

"He hit her, Lex. I could have done _something_. I could have stopped him or made him leave." 

Lex was shaking his head. "Maybe she didn't want him to stop or leave." 

Clark was looking at him like he'd lost his mind and Lex really didn't want to explain the dynamics of abusive relationships but he didn't see a way out of it. "Clark, what would happen if I hit you?" 

"You'd probably break your hand," Clark told him ruefully. 

"Work with me here, I'm trying to make a point," Lex said irritated. "What if I'd had a horrible day, long meetings, broken contracts, and an unexpected visit from my father? I walk in here and find that you've trashed my DVDs _again_. And instead of just being a little annoyed, I go off on you. I yell and when you tell me to calm down, in exactly the same tone that my Dad did, I snap and hit you." 

Clark was looking at him doubtfully, obviously having a hard time imagining Lex yelling at him, let alone actually hitting him. He knew that Clark wouldn't understand the willful violence on his part but it didn't matter. It was the next part that was important, the forgiving part. 

"As soon as I realize what I've done, I'm horrified," Lex continued. "I'm completely convinced that I've lost your trust and ruined our friendship. I apologize over and over and promise to do whatever I have to in order to make it up to you. What do you do?" 

"Do?" Clark asked, not sure of the question. 

"I hit you. I didn't mean to but I did. Do you hit me back? Do you throw the apology in my face and leave? Do you tell me you don't ever want to see or talk to me again?" 

"Of course not!" Clark denied instantly. 

"Then what do you do?" Lex asked again. 

"I'd try to find out what made you so upset. I'd try to help. You're my best friend, I wouldn't leave just because you had a bad day." 

Lex was nodding like that was exactly what he'd expected. "What if I had a lot of bad days, Clark? What would it take before you'd want to leave? Two bad days? A week's worth? A year's worth? Ten years? And what would you do to somebody who tried to make you leave before you were ready?" 

Clark was starting to understand, Lex could see it in his eyes. There was confusion there and hurt but also understanding. "You can only save those who _want_ to be saved, Clark. And as much as it may tear you up inside, you have to realize not everyone wants to be rescued." 

He knew Lex was right but it didn't make it any easier. Clark opened his mouth but no sound came out, just a hitching breath that had Lex scooping up the newspaper and sitting next to him. Lex didn't say anything. If Clark wanted to talk, he would. Until then, he'd just continue with the morning as if the whole conversation hadn't taken place. 

Unfolding the paper, Lex kept the business section and handed the rest to Clark. Doing what he always did Clark used his speed and photographic memory and was done reading in less than a minute. Leaning forward he grabbed the remote, turned on the Cartoon Network, and turned down the sound. 

When Clark sat back he would always find himself unjustifiably close to Lex but he wouldn't apologize or move over. Meanwhile, Lex would just drape his arm across the back of the couch pretending not to notice when Clark sunk down and burrowed in closer. This had pretty much become habit whenever they sat together now. So was ignoring the fact that Lex had long since abandoned his newspaper. Now he was sitting quietly, gently fingering the curls in Clark's hair, and watching the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote silently try to kill each other. 

Lex could remember the very day that this little routine had started. Clark had come over to complain about a loud party and never being able to get a decent night's sleep in the dorms. Lex only laughed and told him, "Welcome to college." Then they had sat quietly, drinking coffee, and sharing the Sunday paper until Clark got bored and turned on the TV. 

Putting it on mute, Clark flipped channels until finally settling on cartoons but when he leaned back he accidentally slid into his best friend. To save his arm from getting crushed, Lex had put it on the back of the couch. The movement caused Clark to slide further and they both froze when he fit naturally into the space it provided. 

Lex was pretty sure neither of them even breathed for at least a minute, not until he deliberately relaxed and made a show of going back to reading like nothing monumental was happening in their friendship. As usual, Clark took his cues from Lex and figured it would be okay for him to lay his head against the curve of shoulder under him as he watched TV. 

Neither one of them had said anything about that morning but the next Sunday found them in the exact same positions, reading the paper, and watching cartoons. It was the same the following Sunday, and the one after that, and just about everyday in between. Lex had no desire to talk about what was going on between them. It felt good, and more importantly, it felt inevitable. Whatever happened between them would happen whether they talked about it or not. 

But Lex knew Clark and Clark liked to talk things through so he was expecting a conversation eventually. Just like he expected it when Clark suddenly broke the silence and asked, "Did you want to be saved?" 

"Which time? You've saved me quite a few times, you'll have to be more specific." 

"The first time, by the river. Did you want to be saved then?" 

The hand in his hair tightened and relaxed so quickly that Clark wasn't sure he felt it at all. "If you'd asked me before the crash, I would have probably said `no.' But afterward, I was pretty damn glad to be alive, so I'm grateful that I didn't have a choice in the matter." 

Clark nodded. "Then how do I know it's not like that with the woman and her husband? What if she's like you? What if she wants to be saved but she just doesn't know it yet?" 

God, Lex really hated simple logic. "I guess you don't," he admitted, "but that's one of the reasons I always want you to tell me when something happens. I might not be able to help you with the more dramatic rescues but things like this I can take care of." 

"How?" Clark asked, tilting his head up at Lex. 

"By having an abuse counselor go out to the house on some anonymous tip. It would give the woman an opportunity to get out of the relationship or press charges if she wanted." 

"Can we do that now or at least before we leave for Christmas?" He wanted to know, turning around to face Lex. 

Lex sighed, knowing that as soon as he answered Clark would be ushering him out of the penthouse to make the call even though it was almost a week before they went to Smallville for winter break. He'd really rather stay here and watch TV, and for a second, Lex wondered just how wrong it was to put a few more minutes of quiet Clark-time ahead of a woman's life. Pretty wrong, he guessed. 

"Yeah, we can do it now," he answered and decided that the completely happy look that Clark gave him was even better than the Road Runner. 

"Thanks, Lex." 

"Anytime," he said getting up to turn off the TV. "Just one of the many services offered here at LexCorp." 

Following Lex to his office, Clark couldn't keep the silly grin off his face. He had felt so helpless when he walked away from that woman. It was like he'd failed, failed her, failed himself, failed everyone. He'd stayed up half the night thinking about it and the other half trying _not_ to think about it. 

By the time morning rolled around Clark was a wreck and wanted nothing more than to be at the penthouse. Bypassing the elevators, he jogged up the stairs, pausing at floor 95 to see Lex walking into his office. Clark was tempted to follow him but he knew that Lex wouldn't stay there longer than it took to get the paper and check his messages so he climbed the rest of stairs to wait. 

When Lex had stormed in demanding to know what happened, Clark was beginning to rethink his idea of coming here for solace. He shouldn't have doubted. It only took a few minutes for Lex to make him feel better and fix what Clark had been agonizing about all night. 

"Back already?" Laura asked when they stepped off the elevator. 

"No, I'm not," Lex corrected his assistant instantly. "I just need to make a few calls and I'm gone. Not that I was ever here," he added with a grin. 

"Of course not, sir," she agreed before greeting Clark. "Good morning dear. I'm glad you're here. I wanted to ask you a question." 

"Umm, sure," he said waving Lex away to his office. "What's up?" 

"I wanted to know if you had any important plans or functions in the first few months of the new year, say through March?" she asked, picking up a pad and pen, ready to write down whatever Clark said. 

"I don't think so. Well, my Mom's birthday is the last weekend of February. I'll probably go to Smallville to celebrate but other than that..." Clark shrugged. 

Laura was nodding absentmindedly and scribbling on the paper. "Good, good. Could you let me know if something else comes up?" 

"Sure, but... why?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should have explained," she answered. "I'm writing up Lex's itinerary for the beginning of the year, parties he's been invited to, out-of-state meetings, things like that and I don't want there to be any scheduling conflicts." 

"Then shouldn't you be asking Lex if he has any plans?" Clark asked, furrowing his brow in a way that Laura couldn't help but think was adorable. 

"Dear," she said patting his arm like a simpleminded but favorite pet, "your plans _are_ his plans." 

When Clark colored slightly she took pity on him. "Go on now. I've got work to do." 

Wandering away, Clark grabbed a bottle of water from the staff lounge before finding his way into Lex's office and sitting down. There was water in here but he wanted the extra minute to think about what Laura had said. It pretty much confirmed what he'd thought back in Smallville. Lex would cancel meetings and appointments for him when he probably shouldn't. Clark wasn't sure if he was upset or happy that Lex so readily put him first in both his business and personal life. 

But listening to Lex on the phone, Clark had to admit that he was leaning toward happy. `Real happy,' he thought as he heard Lex say that unless there was a rule in the abuser's handbook that stated, "Thou shalt beat the crap out of your wife on Sunday," then he fully expected somebody to go discreetly check on the address he'd given. 

"Okay," Lex said to Clark as he hung up the phone. "Somebody will go talk to her when the husband's gone. I told them I wanted to be kept informed so we'll know what, if anything, she decides to do." 

Clark nodded and looked up from his examination of the water bottle. "Did you know that Laura coordinates our schedules?" 

"Yes," Lex said slowly, looking like he could have sworn that Clark had been smarter than this. Clark was getting that look a lot lately. "She finds it easier than having to reschedule my appointments all the time. Why?" 

"No reason. What are you up to today?" he asked quickly. 

Lex let the change in subject slide. "I thought I'd go play in the labs. Want to come?" 

"Yeah," he said already on his feet. There was an A.I. experiment that he wanted to check on. Besides, watching Lex go all geeky scientist was one of his favorite past times. 

"Let's go then," Lex said pushing Clark out the door. He wanted to get out of the office before anybody saw him and insisted that there was some crisis that they just had to tell him about. Sometimes Lex wondered why the hell he paid these people so much when they couldn't make a single decision by themselves. 

Clark didn't say anything as he was hurried out of the office and down to the labs. He knew Lex didn't want anybody to interrupt one of the rare times he managed to spend all day knee-deep in strange experiments and complicated theorems. It was one of the few things that Lex really enjoyed and Clark figured that he needed to enjoy himself more often. 

* * *

"I hate these," Clark complained, zipping up the mandatory jumpsuit. Everything down here had to be kept sterile so that meant everyone had to go through decontamination and got to wear what Clark called "lovely white pajamas." 

Lex hid a smirk as he zipped up his own suit. "I told you I'd have one made in flannel if you wanted." 

"You know Lex, this might be hard for you to believe, but you're not even remotely funny." 

"Yes I am," he disagreed. "You just don't have a sense of humor." 

Clark just snorted and stepped into the white washed walls of the LexCorp underground laboratories. 

"Where are you going to be?" Lex asked him. 

"Computer development. You?" 

"Downstairs. Dr. Caleb sent up four messages about a breakthrough in the nanotechnology." 

"Okay. Meet for lunch?" Clark asked, knowing that if they didn't Lex wouldn't bother to eat at all. 

"Sure," Lex agreed, already backing into another elevator. "And be careful," he added as the doors closed. 

"Be careful," Clark mumbled to himself as he walked down the hall. " _I'm_ not the one who can get hurt." He hadn't taken a few steps before, quite literally, running into Dr. Samuel Gunther head researcher of EVNN, the Evolving Virtual Neural Network project. It was the latest, and most successful, attempt that LexCorp had made at creating the highly anticipated Artificial Intelligence. 

While experimenting with software capable of creating clusters of computer-generated neurons, Dr. Gunther and his colleagues discovered that these clusters had the ability, not just to spontaneously reproduce and branch out like real neurons, but to evolve. They were interactive, self-reconfiguring, had pattern recognition, memory, and the most amazing thing was that they could make simple autonomous decisions. 

The scientists at LexCorp had produced what was essentially, a virtual reality brain. It was an intelligence that existed completely within a computer but was, at least rudimentarily, aware of itself and the physical world beyond it. What the scientists couldn't figure out was how it happened. The creation of EVNN was extraordinary. It was also a total accident. 

"Dr. Gunther," Clark greeted as he reached out to steady the man, "how are you?" 

"Clark!" he nearly shouted, startling someone walking by. "I'm so glad you came down. You simply must see what EVNN did today. It was quite unexpected really," he said as he started walking, continuing his explanation without checking to see if Clark was following. 

Clark grinned as he dutifully trailed behind the doctor, listening to him explain the latest development in EVNN. 

"You remember how we connected him up to audio and video feeds to improve his interaction abilities? Well it seems that yesterday, without being prompted, he recognized and addressed one of the lab techs. She walked in the room to collect some files and he said, `Hello Sarah,' just like that. Can you believe it?" 

The man was gesturing wildly like he was conducting an invisible orchestra, or one that simply failed to show up, and Clark couldn't help but think that Dr. Gunther was a cross between Einstein and Beethoven but with shorter hair... and from Colorado. He was also one Clark's favorite people at LexCorp. 

When Lex had introduced them, Dr. Gunther had completely disregarded Clark's age and lack of schooling. The only thing that seemed to matter was that Clark was interested in computer development and artificial intelligence. And when he found out Clark's knack for doing complicated mathematical equations in his head, he declared Clark an official member of the EVNN project without so much as glancing at Lex for permission. 

Lex arched an eyebrow at Clark's recruitment into the wonderful world of AI research but remained silent. He had actually approved of the idea. God knows that Clark would learn more from Dr. Gunther and the other scientists at LexCorp then he would at MetU. Although, that night he did remind Clark that if his grades dropped his parents would no doubt blame it on Lex. 

Clark just shrugged and told Lex not to worry, he was pretty sure college would be easy. It turned out it was beyond easy, and into the realm of boring. His classes seemed to drag by. To pass the time Clark found himself mentally picking apart the professors and their apparent inability to teach anything at all of use or interest. Which was the exact opposite of Dr. Guther, who was willingly and actively teaching Clark about simple and recursive mathematical algorithms, computerized neural networks, and just about anything else he could think of. 

The man was so enthusiastic about his research that it was hard not to get caught up in it. Which was exactly what happened to Clark. The last couple months he'd spent more and more time working with Dr. Guther and EVNN. It wasn't until Brian had talked him into going to the party that Clark realized that, if he wasn't in school or with Lex, he was in the lab or working on something from the lab. 

Brian had asked in his usually subtle way, what the hell Clark thought he was doing? Then he proceeded to explain that this was his first year of college and the very last thing he should be doing was studying. He should be having fun and enjoying his freedom. Clark just agreed to spend a few hours at the party and didn't bother to explain that he'd never been happier. 

For the first time Clark could remember it felt like he was doing what he was supposed to be doing, what he was made to do. He was using his abilities to actually help people and not having to deal with weird meteorite infected mutants. He was learning more than he dreamed possible. And through it all, he had Lex. He spent more time at the penthouse than he did the dorms and because they were in Metropolis and not Smallville, he didn't have to worry about what his parents or neighbors would have to say about it. All in all, Clark was having a blast. 

So it wasn't hard to share in Dr. Gunther's good mood as they walked into the lab that housed EVNN. 

"Hey Clark," Tom, one of the other researchers greeted, "perfect timing. We were just about to start a few intercommunication tests. Could you talk to EVNN while we monitor?" 

"Sure," Clark agreed sitting down in front of the computer screen. One of the best things about EVNN was his ability to respond when prompted with questions. The only problem was he tended to be stubborn. Early on in his development the researchers noticed that he interacted better with certain people. Some he refused to communicate with all together but a select few he actually seemed to like. It came as no surprise to anybody that Clark was one of his favorites. 

"What type of data are you studying?" Clark asked so he knew what he should try to get EVNN to talk about. 

"We're trying to find out if the spontaneous recognition of Sarah was a fluke or a new cognitive skill, but he refuses to discuss it. We can't even get him to say his own name, let alone one of ours." 

Clark nodded, thinking of something. "When you turn him on, don't say anything to him and definitely don't say anything to me." 

"What are you thinking?" Dr. Gunther wanted to know. 

Clark shrugged. "I want to see if I can irritate him." 

Tom looked skeptical but Gunther looked intrigued. "You know there's been no evidence to support any emotional or empathic characteristics outside of a biological entity? And certainly not within a virtual neural network like EVNN." 

"But EVNN isn't exactly _like_ other neural nets," Clark pointed out, leaning back in his chair. 

"No, I suppose not," Dr. Gunther conceded, than turned to Tom. "Okay, we'll do as Clark suggests. Boot him up and remain silent." 

Tom nodded and started the process of turning on the computers, cameras, microphones, and voice synthesizer. When everything was activated a single green voiceline appeared on the screen. It always reminded Clark of the flat-line on a heart monitor. Normally he would have said hello or typed it into the keyboard but instead he just reached forward, snagged a paper clip off the desk, and started bending it into unrecognizable shapes. 

After about two minutes there was a tiny sound and a hiccup in the voice-line. Two more minutes and the synthesizer choked out, in a very computerized voice the words, "Neural Network initiated." 

Clark ignored it. Instead he tossed the paper clip, picked up a pad and pen, and started doodling. He didn't even glance up a minute later when the voice was much more fluid and stated, "Project EVNN is active and running within acceptable parameters." 

He was in the middle of drawing a cow, when four minutes later, EVNN broke the silence again sounding remarkably like a human male. "I have results of the previous color recognition tests. Do you wish to hear the data?" 

Clark didn't answer but he did finish drawing the cow and title the picture _Daisy_. When he started sketching a barn the line jumped rhythmically and the synthesized voice sounded quite cultured and vaguely disapproving. "Clark, you should not activate me if you do not wish to communicate." 

Tom let out a startled sound that Dr. Gunther silenced with a hard elbow to the gut but Clark just hid a triumphant grin and looked up at the camera mounted on top of the monitor. "I'm sorry EVNN, did you say something?" 

"I have said many things. You did not respond. Did you not hear me?" 

"No, I heard you. I just didn't know you were talking to me. If you want someone to respond, you need to be specific to whom you're addressing," Clark admonished. 

The voice-line beat out a steady pulse for a minute. It was EVNN's way of tapping his fingers on the table as he was thinking or solving a problem. "If I addressed you by name when you first appeared, would you have responded sooner?" 

"Yes," Clark answered, smiling at the way EVNN seemed to think it was everybody else that disappeared when he was turned off. 

"Then I will do so from now on," EVNN declared. 

"What about others, like Dr. Gunther or Tom?" Clark asked, gesturing toward the two men. "Will you identify and greet others by name as well?" 

"No." The answer was immediate and exactly what Clark was expecting. 

EVNN could rival Lex when it came to being an uncooperative pain in the ass. Neither one played well with others so it was a good thing that, for some reason, they both considered Clark an exception. It might take a bit of prodding, a lot of patience, and a shit-load of persistence but he could almost always get them to make nice and at least _attempt_ to work with others. 

Well the truth usually worked when he wanted Lex to do something, maybe it would be the same with EVNN. "Here's the thing," Clark told him, "we don't know if your sudden ability to recognize and name people is a accident or part of your natural development. In order to find out, the researchers want to do a study by having you identify all of the people you interact with. Do you understand?" 

It only took 30 seconds worth of a hopping voice-line before he answered. "I understand your reasoning but not the necessity of the study." EVNN really was getting fast. His response time had been nearly cut in half just within the last two weeks. "But the information and data could be attained more efficiently by simply asking me instead of observing my actions." 

"It could," Clark agreed, "but we will need the video, audio, and observations of the researchers as evidence to authenticate the data you provide." 

"Do you believe the data will be inaccurate?" 

Which Clark translated into, "Do you think I'm going to lie?" `Man, who knew you were going to have to read between the lines when talking to an AI?' 

Clark shook his head. "No, but this is a scientific study and scientists, as a rule, want evidence to accompany all data." 

"I've noticed," EVNN said in what Clark could swear was sarcasm. 

"Then will you cooperate in the identification study?" Clark asked, wanting to be sure. He learned a while ago that you couldn't assume anything when it came to EVNN. He tended to take advantage of things like that. 

It took more than a minute for EVNN to answer and Clark began to worry about what he was thinking up. "I will cooperate within the confines of the study but I can not guarantee the consistency of the results." 

Clark was impressed. That had to be the most cleverly worded, and sneaky, statement EVNN had ever made. He basically just announced that he was still only going to identify who he wanted but in a way that nobody could call him on it. 

"It's a deal," Clark agreed easily. He figured EVNN deserved to get his way since he thought it out so intelligently and thoroughly. "What do you say we start now? I think Tom had some questions he wanted you to answer." 

Clark got up and waved Tom into his seat. 

"Hello EVNN. Are you ready?" Tom asked, still looking a bit shocked as he sat down and flipped through his notes. 

"Yes... _Tom_ ," EVNN replied obediently, emphasizing the name. "I am ready to proceed." 

Clark grinned and Dr. Gunther patted him on the back in congratulations but not surprise. From their first meeting, he knew that Clark was something special. And years of experience told Gunther that it wasn't just the boy's amazing intellect and innate ability to connect with others. No, there was something secretive about him, something he was hiding and Gunther couldn't help but be a little curious. 

He was often tempted to find out what it was, but his own sense of self-preservation always stopped him. Everybody knew about the protective nature of the relationship between Clark and Lex Luthor, although little else of the association was known. Rumors had them as anything from lovers, to friends, to guardian and ward. But the one thing that was certain, to threaten one meant to incur the wrath of the other. 

So, no... he wouldn't pry into the history and psyche of one Clark Kent, if only because he didn't want the consequences that would be visited on him by an angry Luthor. That was something else that experience has taught him: you don't cross a Luthor and survive, at least not without a plan. 

"Dr. Gunther?" Clark said, breaking into his thoughts. "Was there anything you wanted me to do or am I on my own?" 

"Actually, I was hoping to get you to go over EVNN's latest memory algorithms. There's a chunk missing from the main cluster and we have yet to find out how it broke off or where it went." 

"Is EVNN showing any recall problems?" Clark asked as he settled down in front of yet another computer. 

"That's what's odd. Not only does he not show any problems, but he isn't even aware that a large part of his memory is missing." 

"That doesn't sound right," Clark said absentmindedly as he started typing. 

Dr. Guther just smiled and left Clark to his work. Whatever the boy was or wasn't, he knew math and memory, which was basically all EVNN consisted of. Oh sure, there were others on the project that could figure out the problem and fix it, but Clark could do it faster. It seemed that speed was another one of his talents. Dr. Gunther wondered if there were others. 

Clark was just wondering how the hell you could lose nearly 20% of your memory capacity, not know it, and not show any ill effects. Four hours later, he was still wondering. Stretching and leaning back in his chair, Clark looked around to see Dr. Gunther hunched over another computer and Tom rephrasing the same question four different ways to try to get EVNN to answer. 

Clark grinned as he glanced at his watch and got up to announce that he was going to grab some lunch. He was just reaching for the door when EVNN spoke in a distinctly accented voice. 

"Clark? Will you be returning?" he asked, sounding remarkably like James Bond. 

"Yeah," he assured. "I'll be back in about an hour." 

A large smiley face appeared on the monitor and Clark grinned back. "See you in a bit," he told EVNN as he left. 

Tom looked at the happy face in irritation. He spent all morning trying to get EVNN to talk to him and got little more than one-word replies in a computerized voice that just grated on the nerves. But without even the least bit of effort, Clark got impromptu questions, a human voice, and a visual indication of approval. Man, that was just really annoying. 

Clark didn't notice Tom's irritation. He was too busy watching Lex walk down the hall towards him and thinking that Lex had been doing that mind reading thing a lot lately. Sure they had agreed to meet for lunch but they hadn't agreed on when. And for them, lunch could mean anywhere from 11:00 in the morning to 3:00 in the afternoon. 

"Lex, are you psychic with everybody or is it just me?" Clark asked as soon as he got close enough. 

Lex didn't even blink. "Just you. But I don't think it's psychic so much as familiarity and awareness." 

That made sense but Clark was still going to make a point of paying more attention, maybe even find a way to test it. But he didn't say that out loud. Instead, he just nodded and followed Lex through decontamination, glad to be able to get out of the jumpsuit for a little while. 

"Penthouse for lunch?" Clark asked as they stepped into the elevator. 

Lex hit the button for the garage and held up keys to the Hummer. "Nope, Tommy's." 

Clark shook his head indulgently. Tommy's was a tiny restaurant that served, according to Lex, the best chili-dogs in the world along with enough French fries to feed a small army. It was also somewhere that Lex didn't get to go nearly as much a he wanted so Clark was more than happy to go there today. Besides, watching people's reactions to seeing billion dollar Lex Luthor at a cheap fast food restaurant was just too much fun. 

"Shit!" Lex gasped as the elevator doors slid open. 

Clark slammed his hand against the wall keeping Lex in and anything else out. "What?" he demanded, looking around wildly. 

"It's fucking _cold_ that's what," Lex said wrapping his arms around himself and pressing closer to Clark's back to block out the frigid air that had burst into the elevator. 

"Cold?" Clark said a bit blankly, glancing over his shoulder at Lex. 

"Not all of us are invulnerable," he reminded Clark patiently. "Some of us are affected by little things like winter and freezing temperatures." 

Ducking his head, Clark mumbled a sheepish, "Sorry, forgot." 

"Yeah whatever," Lex grumbled trying to sound irritated, but the effect was ruined when he shivered violently and buried his face in between Clark's shoulder blades. Damn, Lex didn't ever remember it being this cold in Metropolis before. It had to be some sort record. 

Clark felt Lex against his back and took a calming breath. `Don't react,' Clark told himself. He knew if he said or did anything to draw attention to the fact the Lex was practically wrapped around him, he would move. And the last thing that Clark wanted was for Lex to move. 

"We're going to need to go back upstairs to get you a coat." As much as Clark would prefer to just stay like this, he couldn't very well let Lex freeze to death. 

Lex lifted his head out from the safety of Clark's MetU sweatshirt. "I have a coat it the Hummer. We just need to get there." 

"Okay then," Clark said, taking a tiny step forward and stripping off his sweatshirt. "Wear this." 

For once Lex didn't argue. He just put it on over the thin sweater he'd been wearing and smiled at how big it was. Clark smiled back. "That's a good look on you." 

"Thanks," Lex said sarcastically. "It's a good thing I'm wearing jeans or I would really look stupid. But you know, someone might wonder why you're walking around in just a T-shirt in December." 

"I think I've got a jacket stashed in the Ferrari. I'll go grab it," he told Lex jogging off. 

Giving himself a quick pep talk about not getting hypothermia, Lex made a dash for the Hummer. Immediately starting it so he could turn on the heater, he snagged his coat from the back seat and shrugged it on. Already feeling warmer, Lex breathed in a sigh of relief... and wished he hadn't. 

All he could smell was Clark. It was everywhere, completely surrounding him in the form of an oversized college sweatshirt. It was a strong, yet subtle, scent that Lex had first noticed just underneath the pungent smell of river water. After that it had been at weekly deliveries and frequent visits. Now he practically lived with it 24 hours a day. It curled up with him over morning cartoons and evening movies. It was in every room of the penthouse, and in every one of his cars. It was in every part of his life except one, one that Lex had been trying really hard not to think about. 

Clark was his friend, his best friend. Although Lex would be the first one to admit that _friends_ didn't usually cuddle while watching TV but he just wasn't sure about taking the next step that they both seemed to want, at least not yet. The idea of risking their friendship for a relationship had Lex quietly freaking out. Clark had been openly hinting at wanting more between them for months now, but every time he tried to mention it, Lex would change the subject or suddenly remember some pressing business matter that had to be taken care of. 

Avoiding the issue wasn't the answer and Lex was pretty sure it was on the verge of immature but it didn't stop him from doing it. He just couldn't see how having a long drawn out conversation about the pros and cons of having sex with your best friend would do anything but make everyone really uncomfortable. And that was something that Lex never wanted to happen. Clark was the one person that he always felt comfortable with. He didn't want to risk that on the off chance that it would work out between the two of them, because really, the chances weren't good. 

Lex figured that they were on borrowed time as it was. He saw the way Clark thrived here in Metropolis. People weren't blind to him the way they were in Smallville, just the opposite. They flocked to him, admired him... wanted him. Lex saw it every time he went to the university. He saw all the girls, and quite a few guys, practically doing cartwheels to get Clark's attention. And Lex was pretty sure that the only reason Clark hung out with him as much as he did was, because when it came to the way others saw him, Clark was still as oblivious as ever. 

He didn't seem to see the reaction he caused in people, except when it came to Lex. It'd taken a little while but Lex was now convinced that Clark knew exactly what he was doing and did things purposely just to see how Lex would react. Which was what had Lex silently groaning as he watched Clark's approach. 

He was wearing a jacket all right, unfortunately it was the leather one. The very one that Lex had bought for him, then instantly regretted it when he saw just how good it made Clark look. And now wearing jeans, a white T-shirt, and black leather jacket, there was simply no way that Clark wasn't aware of how he looked and how much Lex liked it. That settled it, he was doing this on purpose. Lex was sure of it. 

"Ready?" Clark asked, hopping into the passenger seat. 

"Yeah," Lex said as he pulled out of the garage and very carefully didn't check Clark out. But seeing him grin, Lex guessed that his efforts were in vain, but at least it seemed that he wasn't the only one having a hard time keeping their eyes to themselves. 

Clark was fidgeting and shooting glances at Lex whenever he thought he could get away with it. Sure, Lex looked good no matter what he was wearing but there was just something about seeing him in that sweatshirt that Clark really liked. It felt like proof, physical evidence of how close they'd become these last six months, even if Lex was doing his best to ignore it. 

Ever since the Tower opening, when Clark had finally told Lex his secrets, things had changed between them. The one thing that kept them at arms length was gone. Clark didn't have to lie and feel guilty and Lex didn't have to let him and feel betrayed. He hadn't realized what a strain the lies and omissions had put on their friendship until they were gone. But now that they were Clark wasn't going to let them be replaced by different ones. 

He wasn't sure why Lex refused to acknowledge what was happening between them, while simultaneously letting it happen, but Clark wasn't going to let him get away with it for much longer. Because if Lex didn't fess up real soon, Clark was either going to go crazy or pin him to the wall and kiss him silly. 

"What are you thinking about over there?" Lex asked suddenly. 

Clark flushed. "What? Nothing," he denied instantly and a bit too loudly. 

"Ooo`kay," Lex said, drawing out the word and looking amused, "just asking." 

"Sorry, just got a lot on my mind." Which technically was true. "EVNN's missing memory and I can't find it. It's got me a little distracted." Which was also true. 

"Who's Evan?" Lex asked, confused. 

"Not Evan. EVNN," Clark corrected, pronouncing it exactly the same way. 

Lex sighed dramatically. "Well, that clears things up. Thank you, Clark." 

Clark laughed. "EVNN: Evolving Virtual Neural Network. It's the AI project that LexCorp has spent several million dollars and the last four months funding. Aren't you supposed to know about these things?" 

"It's a big company," Lex said defensively. "I can't be expected to know the details of every project." 

"Yeah," Clark agreed, "but you just approved another two million dollars for it a couple of days ago. There was even a report that told you everything about EVNN." 

Lex looked a little concerned. "There was a report?" 

"I gave it to you myself, along with the request for more funding." 

"Was that on Tuesday?" 

"Yeah, I brought it by your office before class. You said you'd read it and decide." 

That's exactly what he said, but not exactly what he did. If Lex remembered correctly, he grinned at the way Clark rushed in, slapped a folder down on his desk, mentioned something about computers, and more money than rushed out. Lex had barely glanced at the contents before giving it to Laura, telling her it was Clark's, and to give him whatever he wanted. He hadn't realized that Clark wanted two million dollars, not that it mattered. In fact, it was kinda funny. 

"I remember now," Lex said with a slight smile as he pulled into Tommy's. "But do me a favor and tell me about it again." 

Clark hopped out of the Hummer and gave Lex an accusing look. "You didn't read it, did you?" 

Lex shrugged and started for the restaurant. It was too cold, if they were going to argue, they could do it inside over lunch. With that in mind, he didn't answer until they were seated and waiting for their food. "Other than just being curious about what's got you holed up in the labs, I didn't think there was a reason for me to read it." 

"No reason?" Clark repeated incredulously. "I asked for a hell of a lot of money. How did you know if it was even worth it if you didn't read the report?" 

Another shrug. "You wanted it, that's good enough for me." 

"But..." Clark shook his head not sure how to get his point across. "You can't give me everything I want just because I ask." 

"Yes, I can," Lex disagreed. "And if for some reason I don't already have it, then I can get it for you." 

"I know you're _capable_ of giving me just about anything. What I'm saying is that you shouldn't be _willing_ to." 

"Why not?" he asked, genuinely confused. "If you want something and I can give it to you, then why shouldn't I?" Lex really didn't see what the big deal was. After all, Clark did it all the time. He just gave away different things. Things like trust and acceptance. Things that Lex never thought he'd have, and definitely never thought he'd be _given_. 

"You can't give away two million dollars just because somebody asks for it," Clark tried telling him again. 

Lex couldn't agree more. "But I didn't give it to _somebody_. I gave it to you." 

He said it so easily that Clark found himself grinning a bit stupidly. Lex really had a way of making him feel like he was the only person in the universe that mattered. It was kind of addictive. "I'm not going to win this one, am I?" 

Lex shook his head `no.' 

"So I should just say thank you and explain how I've been spending your money," Clark suggested as their food was brought over. 

"Go for it," Lex told him, then proceeded to make the waitress blush with the smile he gave her. Clark knew how she felt. That smile had pretty much the same effect on him. But he wasn't going to think about that now. No, now he was going to eat his chili-dog and tell Lex about EVNN. 

"That's quite impressive," Lex finally said when Clark was done talking. "So you're telling me that LexCorp has, by accident mind you, created the world's first artificial intelligence and I'm just now finding out about it?" 

"It's not my fault you don't read the reports people give you," Clark defended. 

He had a point but there was no way that Lex was going to admit it. "Come on," he said as he stood up and tossed a few bills on the table. "Let's get back. I think it's time I met this EVNN of yours." 

"Yeah all right," Clark agreed, and then spent the entire ride back explaining that EVNN could be sensitive so Lex had to promise that he'd be nice. 

* * *

"So let get me this straight," Lex said when they stopped just outside of EVNN's lab. "I have to be _nice_ to the computer other-wise it will..." 

"He," Clark corrected, "not _it_." 

Lex raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on the gender of the computer. "Otherwise _he_ will get upset and not talk to me. Anything else I should know?" 

"No, but he does take things kind of literal so be careful of what you say," Clark explained, pushing open the door and ushering Lex inside. 

"Hey," Clark greeted, "I'm back." 

"Thank God. EVNN is being a pain in the ass," Tom complained as he turned around nearly falling out of his chair at seeing Lex. "Mr. Luthor, I ah..." 

"Tom." Clark stepped forward to make the introductions. "I don't think you've met Lex. Lex this is Tom Blacker, one of the head researchers on Project EVNN. And you know Dr. Gunther." 

"Nice to meet you Tom. And it's always good to see you again Dr. Gunther," Lex greeted the man just walking over. "I didn't mean to startle anyone by coming to visit unannounced, but I wanted to meet EVNN." 

"Of course," Gunther agreed enthusiastically. "We'll do our best but I hope Clark explained that sometimes he can be uncooperative, especially with people he is unfamiliar with." 

"Clark said he was amazing but temperamental, so don't worry, I won't hold it against you if he refuses to talk." 

Dr. Gunther looked relieved. "Good. Good. Let's let Clark introduce you though. He tends to be EVNN's favorite," he informed Lex with a grin. 

"I'm not surprised," Lex agreed, throwing a look in his friend's direction. 

Clark ignored them both as sat down in the chair Tom had vacated and used his foot to pull another one up to the monitor. "Take a seat, Lex." 

Lex sat. "How do you turn him on?" 

"He is on." Clark pointed to the flat line on the screen. "EVNN, I want you to meet..." 

"Lex Luthor," EVNN interrupted in a British accent. "Son of Lionel and Lillian Luthor, friend of Clark Kent, and president of LexCorp." 

"That's very good," Clark told him. "Did you search your database while Lex was being introduced to the others?" 

"There was no need. I had the information previously." 

"Why does he sound like Sean Connery?" Lex wanted to know. 

When Tom answered, Clark ducked his head. "That's Clark's doing." 

"You made him sound like Sean Connery?" Lex wasn't sure if he found that funny or disturbing. 

"Not exactly," Gunther said before Clark or Tom could. "When EVNN first began using the voice synthesizer he discovered that he could mimic different speech patterns. When he asked which one he should use, Clark told him to choose for himself. He has yet to decide and until he does, he uses different voices to indicate approval or disapproval." 

"How?" 

"Well, if he disapproves he'll speak in a computerized voice. The more he approves or wants to cooperate with something or someone, the more human he sounds. As for the accents, that's just him following Clark's advice in trying to decide which one he prefers." 

Lex nodded and turned back to EVNN. "So you approve of me being here?" 

The voice line beat steadily, so Lex kept quiet and waited. "Clark approves of you and I approve of Clark," EVNN finally answered. 

Lex was liking this computer more and more by the second. "Do you approve of everything that Clark does?" 

"Lex," Clark warned. He didn't bring Lex down here to talk about him. It was embarrassing. 

"Clark, do you mind? I'm talking to EVNN," Lex said, clearly enjoying himself. "So EVNN, do you approve of everything that Clark does?" 

"Usually," EVNN answered not missing a beat. "Do you?" 

Lex shrugged. "Usually," he admitted easily. "I find things tend to work out better when I agree with him." 

"I have found that also," EVNN replied solemnly. 

"Okay," Clark broke in. "Let's talk about something else. EVNN, why don't you tell Lex about some of the things you can do, both programmed and learned." 

"Yes Clark," EVNN said obediently, then began to list his knowledge of everything from physics to botany and capabilities from playing chess to remote piloting an airplane. 

Two hours later Lex didn't know what to say but, "Fuck EVNN, you're one amazing computer. No wonder Clark spends all his free time down here." 

"You are interesting as well," EVNN said sounding a bit like Marlon Brando. "I would not object to interacting with you on a more regular basis." 

Lex laughed. "Are you going to make me an offer I can't refuse?" 

EVNN didn't catch the joke. "You are intelligent and explain yourself skillfully. I believe my progression would increase significantly if I were exposed to you more often... perhaps in a different environment." 

"Sure, anytime," Lex answered absently when he noticed Clark waving him over to the phone. 

"It's Laura," Clark said handing Lex the phone. 

Clark watched as Lex's expression turned dark. He didn't know what Laura had said, but it couldn't be good. "What's the matter?" he asked as soon as Lex hung up. 

"I've have to go upstairs," Lex said rubbing his forehead in a way that Clark recognized as the onset of a bad headache. 

Clark grabbed his elbow when Lex started for the door without an explanation. "What's the matter?" he repeated, not letting go. 

"Apparently Dad's decided to pay me a visit. He's waiting in my office and terrorizing my staff as we speak. So needless to say, I have to go upstairs." 

"Okay, just a second," Clark told him, grabbing a lap top then saying something to Dr. Gunther and EVNN before coming back and holding open the door. "Let's go." 

"Clark, you don't have to come." 

"I know," Clark said with an honesty that made having to deal with his father a little more bearable. 

Lex nodded. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Good bye EVNN," he raised his voice in the computer's direction. 

"Good bye," said the synthesized voice of James Earl Jones. "I look forward to interacting with you again." 

"Anytime," Lex agreed. 

Neither one saw the happy face that appeared on the screen nor the hourglass with very little sand left in it. 

Laura met them at the elevator as soon as it arrived at the 95th floor. 

"Did he say what he wanted?" Lex asked, looking wearily at his closed office doors. 

"No," she answered with a hint of disgust in her voice. "And to be honest, I didn't want to talk to him in order to find out." 

Lex could relate. "I don't blame you," he said making his way to his office with Clark in tow. 

"Hello Dad," Lex said in a bored tone as he opened the double doors. "Nice of you to stop by. So sorry you can't stay long." 

Lionel let a tiny grin slip as he looked out at the Metropolis skyline. He'd been standing at this window for almost ten minutes waiting for his son, standing and looking across the city at his own office at LuthorCorp. He supposed that if he had better eyes he could make out his exact window, since Lex had made sure they were facing each other. Lionel had to give him points on that one, just like he silently congratulated Lex on the building itself. 

From this distance, the towers that housed father and son looked to be the same height, equals separated by only a few miles and a few million people. Lionel knew better. The truth was LexCorp stood five stories taller and was far enough away that it was doubtful that the distance could ever be breached. One truth planned, the other, Lionel mused, merely unavoidable. 

"Son," Lionel greeted, turning around and promptly lost his train of thought. 

Lex was casually leaning against the arm of the couch, wearing jeans and a Metropolis University sweatshirt that was very obviously... not his. A glance at a nearby chair revealed its owner and Lionel barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. It was hardly unexpected, but really, Lex might as well be wearing the boy's letterman jacket. 

"An interesting choice in... accessories," Lionel told him, looking over both the sweatshirt and Clark. "Is this a recent decision or have I just not been paying attention?" 

Lionel watched in fascination at the emotions that flitted across Lex's face. He couldn't catch them all but he was sure he saw longing and hope in there somewhere. Once again looking at both boys, Lionel thought that perhaps their relationship wasn't quite as simple as it seemed, or all that Lex wanted. Interesting. 

"Lex?" Lionel prompted when he didn't get an answer. 

"What do you want, Dad?" he asked as his expression settled into irritation. "There's no impending takeover or pressing business that can't wait until Monday so what are you doing here?" 

"I can't just stop by to see my son?" 

"You never have before," Lex pointed out. 

"I suppose not," Lionel allowed. "Never-the-less, I came with a request of both a personal and business nature. I wanted to invite you to the LuthorCorp New Year's party." 

At the suspicious look on Lex's face he held up a hand. "You may have noticed that I'm not hosting the annual Christmas Ball. And since LexCorp is, it was a concession that I'd hoped you'd understand, if not appreciate." 

Lionel crossed over to the bar but didn't pour a drink. "Lex, you know that normally when the city sees us fighting they turn it into some achingly tragic familial battle and delight in choosing sides. But if they see us fighting over the holidays, they'll just think of it as petty squabbling between the rich and ungrateful." 

Lex didn't look overly concerned. "And you want to prevent this." 

"I do," he agreed. "And all we have to do is take a break from trying to publicly destroy each other for a couple of weeks. I accept your invitation to the LexCorp Christmas party and you attend the LuthorCorp New Year's party. Even you have to agree that two unpleasant nights are worth the good publicity that we'll receive. You can even bring a da... friend," Lionel corrected with a slight smirk. 

Lex was about to tell him where he could shove his good publicity when Clark surprised the hell out of him by saying, "We'd love to come." 

"We would?" Lex demanded incredulously, spinning to face Clark. 

"Sure, it'll be fun." 

"No, it won't." 

"Yeah, it will." 

"No, from experience I can tell you that it won't be." 

Clark stood up and took a couple of steps towards Lex, completely ignoring the fact that Lionel was watching their little play by play intently. "It's a good idea, so I think you should go. And since you're not going anywhere without security that means I go with you." 

"It's settled then," Lionel announced, pushing away from the bar. He was going to pat Lex on the shoulder as he passed, but thought better of it when he saw that his son's expression had turned from annoyed to angry. Even Lionel knew it wasn't a good idea to try and touch Lex when he was pissed off. 

"And young Mr. Kent," Lionel said reaching out to shake hands with Clark. "I'm beginning to see why my son keeps you around." 

"Really," Clark said a bit wryly as he focused on Lionel. 

"Lex has never liked simple and always resented it when things were made easy for him. From what I've seen, you have filled his life with nothing but complications and difficulties since your first meeting. You, my boy, are perfect for him." With that Lionel swept out leaving behind two very irritated young men. 

Clark stared through the closed doors until he saw Lionel disappear into the elevator. "Man, I really don't like him," he said finally turning back to Lex. 

"Then what the hell were you thinking volunteering us to spend time with him?" 

He knew that Lex was mad and he also knew that he had every right to be but that didn't make Clark one bit sorry for what he did. It was a good idea to take a break from the Luthor war during the holidays but that's not why Clark said that they'd go. 

He'd seen the way that Lionel had looked at the sweatshirt and obviously thought that they were sleeping together. Clark had gotten a perverse little thrill out of it, even if it wasn't true. But then he saw Lionel rightfully doubting his conclusions, and for some reason, that really bothered him. 

It was like Lionel sensed a weak spot and it immediately sent Clark into protective overdrive. He wanted Lionel to think that they were together, to show a united front. To make sure that he knew his son wasn't alone, that he would _never_ be alone. And going to a party that everybody and God would be attending would be the perfect place to do it. Now, he just had to get Lex to go along with it. 

Clark walked the rest of the way over to Lex and softly fingered the sleeve of the sweatshirt. "He thinks that we're sleeping together." 

"Which hardly answers my question," Lex pointed out, swatting his hand away. "You've never been the partying type, so why did you say we'd go?" 

Clark wondered how much he could tell Lex before he shut down and refused to talk anymore. One way to find out. "Because he thinks that we might _not_ be sleeping together." 

"You lost me, Clark." He really had. Normally, Lex could follow Clark-logic but this was defeating him. 

"Well, if we go to the party together then Lionel won't know if it's just as friends or if it's more. And there are enough rumors and articles floating around that he'll probably be leaning towards more." 

And other than making Lex's stomach do a flip at the thought of his Dad and half of Metropolis thinking that they were together, that explained absolutely nothing. "From the way you're saying it, I'm guessing that's the outcome you want but it doesn't tell me why." 

"Because I don't want you hurt." 

Okay, that was really sweet. It was very Clark in a way that made you want to hug him because he looks upset and smack him because he's still not telling you a fucking thing. 

"Clark," Lex said, rubbing ineffectually at his headache, "I appreciate your concern, even if I have no idea what you're concerned about, but I'm not going to Dad's New Year's party unless you give me a _reason_. Hell, I only invited him to the LexCorp Christmas Ball because I never thought he'd accept." 

So, Clark thought, time to change tactics and he was not going to feel guilty about it. He just wasn't. It was for Lex's own good. He just didn't understand that yet, so Clark would explain it, eventually. But for now... "Can it be my Christmas present?" 

"What?" Lex asked dropping his hand in confusion then holding it out to ward Clark off when he understood. "Oh no, no, absolutely not." 

He'd been trying for months to get Clark to pick out a Christmas present to no avail. Anytime Lex would ask him what he wanted Clark would just smile and say that he had everything he wanted but if anything came up, he'd be sure to say something. Well, he was saying something now, but there was no way Lex going to agree to it. And goddamn Clark for trying to trap him like this. 

"No, Clark," he said again sharply. "You're not going to force me to go to a party and make my Dad think we're fucking without a giving me a reason." 

Clark flinched at the harsh words but Lex ignored him. He had to make Clark understand that there'd be repercussions for both of them if they did this. It wouldn't be like the town gossip from back in Smallville or the office rumors that were always floating around. Clark always said that he didn't care when there was a story in the media about them but that was only because it was buried in the back of an obscure paper that Lex didn't pay off in time. And no matter what he said, Lex was pretty sure that he'd care a whole fucking lot when the front page of the Inquisitor declared him a Luthor whore. 

"Jesus," Lex cursed, moving away from Clark and beginning to pace. "I'm not sure you can give me a reason good enough to do what you're suggesting. The fallout would be horrendous. Forget about my Dad, the media would have a field day. And I have no idea how my business contacts will react to me being labeled a fag. I mean Lord knows I've never been discreet, or discriminating, when it came to who I slept with. But that was a long time ago and people will excuse a lot if they consider it youthful indiscretion. But this..." He shook his head. 

God, Lex couldn't believe how angry this was making him. And the terrible thing was that he knew it wasn't because of the trouble it would cause, since really it wouldn't be that much. He didn't give a shit what his business associates thought of him and even if they disapproved, he doubted that they'd do anything. They only cared about making money and as long as an alliance with LexCorp could make them richer, they wouldn't care who he bedded. 

As for the public? They probably wouldn't even blink. Metropolis was used to sex scandals so something like Lex Luthor having an eighteen-year old boy toy wouldn't even be a blip on the radar. Now that he thought about it, other than maybe a few people giving Clark a hard time at school and Jonathan and Martha coming to kill him, it really wasn't a problem. 

Well, except for the one little thing that had Lex pacing, and angry, and feeling like his insides were being ripped to shreds. The fact that it wasn't true. They weren't together and Lex couldn't pretend that they were. It would kill him to have the world think that Clark was his when he wasn't. 

"Lex," Clark said hesitantly, swallowing a few times before he could say anything else. "I'm sorry. I... I didn't know." 

And he didn't. He had no idea all the problems that he could cause Lex. All the problems that he was probably _already_ causing Lex just from hanging around so much. Then there were the rumors that he got tired of denying so he had just ignored, or even worse, wished that they were true. All the times that he stayed the night at the penthouse instead of going back to the dorms, or showed up at the office just assuming that he was welcomed. 

What had he been thinking? What had he been doing? Pushing Lex for more when he didn't want it. Hurting his business and possibly their friendship because Clark didn't see that just because people didn't really care if he was with Lex, they definitely cared if Lex was with him. And the whole time Lex not saying anything, being a good friend when he probably wanted to just tell Clark to back off for a while. 

Well, Clark wouldn't make him ask. He'd stay away, stop trying to fit himself into a life he had no business being in. And it wouldn't be like back in Smallville, when his vow to give Lex some space lasted barely three days. There Clark had stayed close to keep him safe but here that closeness was hurting, not helping. He hadn't meant for it to be like this, but at least it was something that he could fix. 

"I'm sorry," Clark repeated. "Forget about the party. Your Dad got to me and I wasn't thinking. I just... I have to go." 

`Shit', Lex cursed himself when Clark started to leave. He didn't want Clark taking off when he was upset, which he obviously was. And Lex knew he was to blame. He shouldn't have said all that stuff. Clark was just trying to help and now he thinks he's done something wrong. 

"Clark, wait a second." He didn't wait and Lex barely got to the door before the younger man could escape. "I shouldn't have said those things. Dad pissed me off too and I was venting. You know better then to listen to me when I get like that." 

"Don't worry about it," Clark said, not looking up from his shoes. "But I really have to go Lex, I told Brian I'd hang out with him tonight." He didn't but his roommate had asked so Clark figured it wasn't exactly a lie. 

"Yeah all right," Lex agreed, still not moving. "But can we finish talking before you leave?" 

Clark didn't answer. He really needed to get away, get some distance between them before he did something stupid, like not leave... ever. "I've got to go," he said quietly, stepping around Lex and out the door. 

He was almost to the elevator when a soft voice stopped him. 

"Clark, is everything okay?" Laura asked. 

She had seen him walk out of Lex's office and wondered what Lionel had done to make him look so upset. The man was truly awful, so the possibilities were endless. 

"Laura, hey. Everything's fine. It's just been a long day," Clark lied, praying she wouldn't want more of an explanation than that. 

The look he was giving her practically begged her not to ask anything else, so she just nodded and told him to stay warm. He agreed with a weak smile and forced himself to wait for the elevator instead of taking the stairs like he wanted. Laura didn't even wait for the doors to shut before she was on her feet and heading to ask Lex what had happened. 

"Sir?" she asked, knocking and then just walking in when Lex didn't answer. 

"Go away," he ordered, not bothering to be polite. 

He was standing by the bar downing what Laura guessed was not his first drink and looked almost as bad as Clark did. She frowned. Lex was usually mad and a bit illtempered after a visit with his father but not upset. And she had gotten to know his moods good enough to see that he _was_ upset and not angry. She also knew there was only one thing that got him in this state. 

"If it's any consolation," she told him blandly, "Clark looks worse off then you, so I'm guessing you won." 

"Won?" 

"Yes, won. Whatever fight you just had with Clark," she clarified with a wave in the direction that the boy had gone. 

Lex was really tired all of a sudden. "Not that it's any of your business, but what makes you think that I had a fight with Clark? My father was being an ass, couldn't my mood be attributed to him?" 

Laura shook her head. "No, your father gets you mad but not upset. Besides, Clark just left here looking like he'd lost his best friend and you're not looking too good yourself." 

Great, Lex knew he shouldn't have let Clark leave. "Are you sure he was upset and not just in a hurry?" he asked hopefully. 

All he got for an answer was a doubtful and very accusing glare. Putting the glass down Lex rubbed at what was rapidly becoming a migraine. He didn't have a clue what was going on with Clark but he was fairly certain it was his fault, which meant it was his job to fix it. 

Lex held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. Call down to the garage and tell security to stall him until I get there." 

"Very good," she approved, turning away only to be almost knocked off her feet when the building shook. 

Lex grabbed on to the bar and shouted over what sounded like a bomb. "What the hell was that?" 

* * *

Which was exactly what Clark was thinking as he pushed away the twisted and bent remains of the elevator. He'd been in such a hurry to leave that he hadn't notice how fast the elevator was dropping until it was too late. The numbers were flashing by in a blur and Clark only had time to thank god that Lex wasn't with him before it hit the ground. 

The force was incredible. The runaway elevator hit the two-foot thick titanium floor that protected the labs and crumpled. The metal molded itself around Clark instead of crushing him, and for a moment he had an absurd urge to giggle. Because, wow... that's what it felt like to fall 95 floors. 

Shaking off the slight hysteria, Clark knew he had to get out before somebody saw him and started asking questions. Questions like, `Why aren't you hurt?' or even better, `Why aren't you dead?' Pushing himself free, Clark zipped into the stairwell just as guards rushed over to see what had happened. 

Brushing himself off he was surprised when the only damage to his clothes was a small tear in his leather jacket. Shrugging and passing it off as good luck Clark nearly giggled again when he jogged back into the garage and saw the destroyed elevator. If this was good luck he'd hate to see bad. 

"What happened?" Clark yelled to the first person he saw. 

A guard Clark had only met once before answered. "I have no idea," he admitted. 

Nodding he reached into his pocket and didn't have to pull out his cell phone to know it was broken. Damn, he had to talk to Lex. Clark waved the guard over. "I need your phone." 

The man handed it over without question and Clark mumbled a thanks as he dialed and backed away from the growing crowd. 

"Luthor," Lex snapped into the phone. He'd just walked into the main security office on 94 to find Bennett when his cell rang. 

Oh no, Clark thought. Lex must be really pissed off or really upset if he was answering with `Luthor.' "Lex, it's me." 

"Clark! Thank god. Where are you?" he asked holding up a hand when Laura started asking if Clark was okay and Bennett came around the corner asking if Clark knew what happened. 

"I'm down in the garage. Something happened to the elevator. It sorta, well... it fell. I don't know why," he said using his x-ray vision to see into the shaft. "It didn't break through the floor so the labs are okay and nobody else was with me so..." 

"You were in..." Lex choked off his words as he braced himself against the wall. He couldn't say that Clark had been in the elevator with Bennett and Laura listening but Jesus, he felt sick. It must have shown because they both stepped forward looking ready to catch him if he fell. 

Lex waved them off and retreated to the corner. "Clark are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. Why?" he asked sounding puzzled. 

"Why?" Lex repeated disbelieving. "You just fell nearly 1200 feet. That's _why_." 

"But I can't get hurt," Clark reminded him so reasonably that Lex wanted very much to kill him. 

"We don't know that, not for sure. We don't know how much your body can take before it breaks. What if your limit for falling was only 1000 feet? You could have died!" Lex snapped his mouth shut when his voice broke on the last word. 

He couldn't have this conversation now, maybe not ever. He couldn't admit that one of his constant fears was that Clark would reach and pass a limit nobody was sure he had. And he definitely wasn't going to tell Clark about the nightmares that he had, horrible dreams of Clark going to save somebody and losing his abilities just as a bullet ripped into him or a car ran him down. No, Lex wouldn't tell him that. Just like he wouldn't admit out loud that if Clark died, he honestly didn't know if he'd survive it. 

"Lex," came the soothing voice over the phone. "I'm fine. Not even a scratch, I swear." 

"Yeah," Lex coughed, trying to get his mind to work and figure out what had to be done now. "Clark did anybody see you?" 

"No. I got out before anybody showed up and pretended to be in the stairwell. But what about the security cameras?" 

"I'll take care of it. Just stay where you are." 

"But Lex," he protested. He didn't want to stay. He wanted to make sure nothing happened anywhere else in the building. He wanted to make sure nobody was hurt. He really wanted to be closer to Lex. 

"Clark I need to find what the hell happened and if it's happened in any of the other buildings," Lex said, echoing his thoughts. 

"I can help. Besides we don't know if this was on purpose and aimed at you. Let me come up there." 

"No. Bennett's with me so just let us check on things and we'll be down. Until then keep everything under control where you're at." 

Clark shut his eyes and took a calming breath. "Lex, Bennett can't protect you like I can. Please, just let..." 

"I said no," Lex cut him off. "I'll be down in a few minutes. Until then, so help me Clark, you better do what I tell you." 

Lex ended the call quickly before Clark could say anything else and turned to Laura and Bennett. 

"It appears that, for reasons unknown, the elevator malfunctioned and dropped to the ground level. Clark's fine," he added. "He decided to take the stairs but he's down in the garage now. He doesn't know what happened or if it's happened anywhere else so we need to find out." Thinking up the explanation was easy enough, he just hoped that nobody questioned how Clark had gotten down to the garage so quickly. The last thing that he wanted was the focus to be on Clark. 

"Do you want to evacuate?" Bennett asked. 

"Not if we don't have to. Check to see if there's any fires or structural damage. If there isn't, tell everybody to stay put until we find out what's going on." 

"Yes sir," Bennett agreed, grateful that the Towers were managed and monitored completely by computers. It would take a lot longer if he had to check everything manually. 

"Laura, don't let anybody panic," Lex ordered over his shoulder as he headed to another computer. 

Punching in his password, Lex found the camera controls and archives quickly. He didn't have time to go through them now so he just locked down access to everything that was recorded within the last half-hour. He'd have to review everything and do some careful editing before letting the investigative team have them, but for now, this would do. 

"Bennett," Lex barked impatiently. "Find me a safe elevator to get to the garage." 

Fifteen minutes later Lex was entering the garage, after confirming that the runaway elevator was an isolated incident that caused surprisingly little damage. Striding forward with Bennett at his shoulder, Lex immediately looked around for Clark. It wasn't hard to find him. 

Standing in the middle of a gathering of LexCorp guards and Metropolis police, Lex watched as Clark simultaneously answered questions, gave orders, and offered reassurance. Aside from the utter relief at seeing with his own eyes that Clark was okay, Lex was also very impressed. For as much as Clark liked to fade into the background, he really knew how to handle a crisis, although he didn't look like he was enjoying it much. 

Face set into a solid line of irritation, Clark ignored the police for a minute when he saw the Tower maintenance crew. He called them, knowing they'd have to at least make the pretense of searching to see if there was anybody inside the elevator when it went down. 

Taking them over to the twisted mess, Clark listened as they told him that with the portable acetylene torches it would still be about a half-hour before they could cut through all the metal. 

"Work as fast as you can," Clark told them. "We don't think there was anybody inside but we need to make sure." 

After they nodded their understanding, Clark turned away, looking over the small crowd that had followed him and locked eyes with Lex. Still standing on the outskirts of the garage, Lex could easily read the expressions that were warring on the boy's face. The two most prominent being relief that Lex was okay and anger at being hung up on. 

Walking over Clark stopped right in front of him and spoke as if incredibly bored. "The police are here," he said, waving a hand at a passing cop. "They're fine with letting you handle the situation as long as they're kept informed. Maintenance guys say it'll be a least a half-hour before they can confirm the elevator was empty. Security's doing a good job at keeping everyone at bay." He directed the last comment at Bennett then turned back to Lex. "Oh yeah, the media's already showing up." 

Lex resisted the urge to demand that Bennett throw every single reporter off LexCorp property and charge them with trespassing. The media was a pain in the ass, but they were also pretty useful, so Lex decided to just suck it up and make nice. Even if he really didn't want to. Still, maybe he could put it off for a little while longer. 

"Bennett," Lex ordered, "keep all media and gawkers away from the building and tell them I'll be making a statement shortly." 

"Yes sir. But..." 

"But what," Lex asked impatiently. 

"Even though everything points to this being an accident, until we're sure, I think it wise for you to remain guarded." 

"I got it," Clark told Bennett, then nodded to the people milling around. "You take care of them, I'll take care of Lex." 

"Okay, just let me know immediately of anything suspicious," he said, already backing away. 

Clark was a little surprised at the grateful look and easy agreement that Bennett gave him. He usually wasn't so quick to hand off protection duties. Which could only mean that Lex was being especially difficult and Bennett wanted as little direct contact with the man as possible. And from experience, he knew that Bennett wouldn't be the only one using him as a buffer in between them and an angry Luthor. Clark sighed. The next few days were not going to be fun. 

"I didn't think you'd be volunteering to play bodyguard," Lex admitted as soon as Bennett left. 

"Why not?" Clark asked, keeping his voice neutral. 

Lex shrugged. "I know you're pissed because I made you stay down here." 

Clark blinked, not seeing what that had to do with anything. So he was mad, that didn't mean he cared or worried any less. In fact, that's why he _was_ mad, because he cared and worried. Sometimes, Clark wondered what happened to Lex to make him think that just because you made someone angry it meant that they would automatically abandoned you. 

"Just because I'm mad," Clark said, letting his tone soften, "doesn't mean I won't always be around to keep you safe." 

Lex knew that an ear to ear grin would be completely inappropriate, so he schooled his features and settled for nudging Clark with his shoulder. "That's nice to know, just try to keep yourself safe too," he said, gesturing in the direction on the elevator. 

Clark didn't seem to think that there was anything at all inappropriate about offering up a huge smile, and at the way that it loosened the anxiety that he felt about pissing Clark off one time to many times, Lex could only agree. 

"Come on," Lex said, walking into the crowd, "time for damage control." 

Which really wasn't that difficult, just tedious. Lex could only reassure people so much before he started getting annoyed, so when the maintenance crew finally announced that the elevator was empty, Lex practically jumped at the chance to make a statement to the media. 

"Lex." Clark stopped him just before he went outside. 

Thinking he was going to get the patented _dangers-of-addressing-the-masses_ speech, Lex gave a patient, "Yes, Clark?" 

"Button up your coat." 

"What?" Lex asked confused. Clark was always protective but never paternal. It wasn't like him to fuss with clothing. 

Clark grinned. "That's not exactly professional," he said eyeing the sweatshirt that Lex had forgotten he was wearing. 

Looking down at the MetU logo emblazoned on his chest Lex was horrified to feel himself flush slightly. It was one thing to wear it to a fast food restaurant or his office, and it was bad enough that his Dad had commented on it but to have been wearing it the entire time he was talking to what seemed like half the Metropolis police department? That was just beyond embarrassing. 

Lex tried to sound reproachful. "You couldn't have pointed out my fashion faux pas earlier?" 

Clark shrugged and lied. "I didn't notice until now." 

There was no way that he was going to admit that he'd, not just noticed, but immensely enjoyed the fact that everybody else noticed as well. He saw the way people looked at the shirt, then at Lex, then finally at him. He knew the impression that they would get and frankly he was glad. Clark knew that he shouldn't be, especially after that awful scene with Lionel, but he couldn't seem to help it. 

"Uh huh," Lex said, far from convinced. 

Clark knew that Lex didn't believe him but he also knew that he wouldn't call him on it. If he did, it would pave the way for them to actually _talk_ about what was developing between them and that was something that Lex avoided at all costs. Whether that was because he wanted more or didn't want more then friendship, Clark had no idea. And until Lex decided to let him know, he'd do what he always did. He'd take his cues from the man that had buttoned up his coat and was now confidently telling the reporters that nothing had happened but an unfortunate, non-injury accident involving one of the elevators. 

Frowning, Clark thought that this was one time he really didn't want to abide by Lex's clues. But the last thing that Lex had mentioned about them being close was how much trouble that came with it, so he didn't have much choice. Clark would do as he originally planned: he'd grow up a little and stop hanging onto Lex like a security blanket. Even if just the thought of staying away made Clark cold in a way that had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures. 

Finished with his statement and questions from the press, Lex turned to see Clark looking a little off. He didn't seem concerned about any danger but Lex couldn't help but think that he looked distressed and... resolved. He looked guiltily determined, like he caused a problem and planned to fix it, even if that meant putting himself on the line. Sighing, Lex vowed to find out what was going on in Clark's head before the boy did something stupidly self-sacrificing and equally unnecessary. 

Striding passed and into the garage, Clark fell in step behind Lex without a word. Hovering just off to the right, he stayed so uncharacteristically silent as Lex issued a few last orders, that even Bennett noticed. He raised a questioning eyebrow but didn't actually _ask_ if anything was wrong so Lex pretended not to see the man's curiosity. Instead, he just told Bennett that he had a couple of things to take care of and headed for a safe elevator. 

"What about a more complete investigation?" Bennett asked before Lex could make his escape. 

"I'll see to it in the morning," Lex assured. "Until then, secure the area so nothing is inadvertently disturbed." 

"Yes sir," was all Bennett said. 

After the security breech and failed assassination attempt last summer, it had taken a while to regain the respect of both men. Bennett had done it and kept his job but that didn't give him the right to question orders. He knew better then to ask why Lex wanted to wait until morning to investigate more fully, or for that matter, why a large chunk of the video surveillance from the main Tower was suddenly inaccessible. 

No, Bennett was pretty sure that if he asked why Lex would take over the investigation of certain incidents, he would quickly be out of a job. He was even more certain that if he asked why Clark was usually involved in those incidents, that he would just as quickly disappear off the face of the earth. Bennett wanted to keep his job, more importantly he wanted to keep his _life_ , so no, he wouldn't ask questions. 

Lex gave a dismissive nod and didn't say anything until he and Clark were alone and safely on the way up to the penthouse. "You're awfully quiet," he commented casually, hoping Clark would tell him _why_ he was being so quiet. 

"Just thinking," Clark said with a heavy lift and fall of his shoulders. 

"About what?" 

Another shrug. "Nothing." 

` _Nothing_ ' added to the hunched, in-drawn body language, and Clark's inability to look him in the eyes had Lex translating _nothing_ into a very big _something_. He resisted the urge to yell at Clark, to just tell him what the fuck was the matter. It wouldn't do any good, in fact, it would probably make things worse. If he started in on an interrogation, Clark would shut down completely and his vocabulary would shrink to `I'm fine' and `nothing's the matter.' 

The trick to get Clark to spill his guts was simply not to ask. Lex had discovered that all he had to do was stay close, really close, invading Clark's personal space at every opportunity, light touches to an arm or shoulder, or sitting with him on the couch, and the boy's carefully built walls would crumble. So with that in mind, Lex kept his mouth shut and his hand on the small of Clark's back as they made their way into the penthouse. 

Clark shot him a slightly suspicious look but didn't say anything and Lex smiled to himself when the boy shifted closer despite his wariness. The last couple of hours had been nerve racking to say the least and Lex couldn't blame him for wanting a bit of physical confirmation that they were both okay. Hell, if Lex were honest with himself, his plan to go excessively tactile was just as much for his own comfort as it was to probe Clark's psyche. 

As soon as the door shut behind them, Lex let Clark escape to check over the penthouse. It was something he did whenever the danger had gotten too close to home, too close to Lex. He would examine every room with his x-ray vision, look out every window to make sure nobody was watching them, and often stayed awake all night to stand guard. 

Clark knew his actions were a little obsessive, but he couldn't help it, especially when Lex would thrash around at night, trapped in some nightmare where Clark couldn't protect him. He had no idea how many times he'd woken up to the sound of Lex tossing and turning in his sleep. It wasn't so loud that a normal person would hear, but Clark's sensitive hearing and his constant, unconscious awareness of his best friend had him awake and standing at Lex's bedroom door with no memory of getting up. 

The first couple of times it happened, Clark just stood with his hand on the knob and his forehead against the door, not sure if he had the right to invade Lex's privacy by going in. One night, it just became too much for him and he finally snapped. He'd been outside the door, listening to his friend tangle himself in the sheets, when Lex let out a barely audible cry and Clark suddenly found himself on the other side of the door. 

Eyes easily adjusting to the darkness, Clark focused on the bed and caught his breath at what he saw. Lex was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, chest bare, with the sheets pooled around his hips. He was moving fitfully, obviously having a nightmare and Clark knew he should wake him up, but he didn't. He watched Lex shift with restless, almost painful movements, and felt himself flush with heat and guilt when the first thing he thought was how beautiful Lex looked. 

There was something about seeing Lex so open and vulnerable, there was no mask to hide the fear and hurt that the nightmare caused and Clark couldn't look away. There was such raw, unreserved emotion pouring off of him that Clark was frozen in place, torn between stopping his friend's pain and drinking in the rare show of feeling. 

It wasn't until Lex mumbled his name that Clark stepped forward. Frowning, he edged closer and silently folded himself to sit on the floor, only a few feet away from the bed. He thought he was the cause of Lex's distress at first, that deep down Lex was afraid of him and it was coming out in the nightmare. But that wasn't right. In all the time they'd known each other, Lex had never seemed afraid of him and besides, he hadn't called Clark's name in fear. It sounded more of sadness, the type of bone deep sorrow that takes a hold of you and refuses to let go. 

Sitting and keeping guard over him, Clark watched as he began to relax and fall into a more restful sleep. It was like his presence alone made the nightmare retreat and to make sure they didn't come back, he waited another ten minutes after the man's breathing evened out before he left. Settling in bed, Clark stayed awake and listened, just in case Lex needed him again. And without meaning to it quickly became a habit, to stay awake and listen, just in case. It was a habit that Clark knew he'd continue tonight. 

Clark vowed to put a little distance between Lex and himself, and he would, but not tonight. The elevator accident was just that, an accident, but he was still too nervous to leave Lex alone. He would hang out tonight, drop a few hints about school and being busy, maybe even suggest that he go to Smallville for Christmas by himself. Anything as an excuse to give Lex the space he needed. 

Feeling better now that he had some sort of plan, Clark wandered into the living room to see Lex hunched over the coffee table and typing insistently at his laptop. 

"What are you doing?" 

Lex didn't answer. He didn't even glance up, just kept typing and looking increasingly more worried. 

"Lex," Clark tried again. "What are you doing?" 

"Tell me _exactly_ what happened with the elevator," he ordered, finally meeting Clark's eyes, but not answering his question. "Start from when you left my office." 

"Umm, I walked out, talked to Laura for a second, then got on the elevator. I pushed the button for the garage but by the time I realized that it was going down too fast, it was too late. I hit the ground hard, _really_ hard, and the elevator sort of folded around me." 

Clark shuddered a bit, remembering how surreal it felt to have all that metal wrapped around him like a cocoon. "I pushed out of it pretty quick," he continued. "Then I heard people coming, so I ran into the stairwell, brushed myself off, and went back out like I didn't know what was going on." 

"And then you called me," Lex added, shaking his head like he was trying to clear it. "Are you _sure_ that's what happened, Clark?" 

"Well, yeah," Clark answered slowly. "Why?" 

Lex gestured to his laptop and waiting until Clark sat down before starting the surveillance video of the accident. "This is from several different camera angles," he explained as a very different version of the incident played out. 

It showed Clark leaving Lex's office, talk briefly to Laura, and then get on the elevator. But in reality, where Clark had stayed on the elevator, the video showed him getting off some floors later and taking the stairs. The elevator continued down quite empty, increasing in speed until it crashed into the ground. The next couple scenes had Clark running the rest of the way down, bursting into the garage and asking what happened. 

The video was an exact match to their official story but Clark knew that there was no way that Lex could have doctored the tape so quickly. He had to ask anyway. The alternative was just not something that Clark wanted to think about. 

"You fixed it already?" he asked hopefully. 

Lex gave him an impatient look that said, `don't be stupid.' "I didn't do anything to it, Clark. I just turned it on to start with the creative editing and found this. And it leads me to ask again, are you _sure_ you were in the elevator?" 

"Of course, I'm sure," Clark snapped. "It's really not something you forget." 

Lex nodded in a completely patronizing way. "No," he agreed calmly, "but do you think there's a possibility that you're not remembering correctly? It wouldn't exactly be the first time something weird happened to affect our memories." 

"Yeah, but this is Metropolis, not Smallville. I was on that elevator and there wasn't a meteor or meteor freak in sight." 

"Maybe," Lex said, not sounding very convinced. 

"Not maybe... definitely and I can prove it," he exclaimed, digging into his pocket and pulling out his useless cell phone. "It broke in the accident. I had to borrow one from a guard to call you." 

Lex looked warily at the destroyed phone like it was the cause of this whole mess before punching a few keys on his laptop. The screen came to life again with Clark running into the garage, asking what happened, and sure enough... borrowing a phone from a passing guard. 

Lex was perfectly still for a long moment before exploding out of his seat. He didn't look at Clark as he strode over to the bar, downing an alarming amount of whiskey then throwing the glass into the far wall. "Fuck!" 

Clark flinched at the sound of both Lex and the shattering glass. "Lex?" he asked hesitantly, needing to know exactly what the man was thinking. 

"Gimme a second, Clark." He tried to sound calm, even though he felt anything but. Jesus, could this get any worse? Somebody knew about Clark, knew about him and rigged the elevator as a test and a way to gather evidence. Oddly enough that wasn't what bothered Lex the most. 

The most troubling thought was the fact that this person was likely to be an employee of LexCorp. They needed the opportunity to see Clark and have access to the Tower's elevators and security system to pull this off. Not to mention, that the only time Lex had said that Clark got off the elevator in favor of the stairs was in the security office. 

Somebody had gotten that information and used it to edit the tape, and in order to have done that, they would have had to either been listening in or actually _been_ in the office at the time. And, considering that the two people who were there, were also among the few people from LexCorp that had the knowledge, access, and ability to accomplish something like this, Lex figured he had the right to be a little agitated. 

Damn it, he _liked_ Laura and Bennett. He really didn't want to think that they would betray, not just him, but Clark as well. He also didn't want to think about what he'd have to do if it proved that they did have something to do with this... whatever the hell this was. It was no secret just how far he'd go to protect Clark, how far he _had_ gone. If it was a choice between keeping Clark safe or somebody else winding up conveniently dead, well, there really wasn't a decision to make. He once promised Clark that he'd make sure everything would be okay and that was a promise he intended to keep, consequences and morals be damned. 

Chancing a look over at Clark, Lex knew that he was thinking along the same lines but with far less acceptance. Clark always tried to take on all the responsibility in a situation. He hated getting other people involved because they might get hurt and that was one thing that Clark couldn't handle. He couldn't stand the thought of other people getting hurt because of him. 

Lex could see him fidgeting. It looked like he was getting ready to stand up and bolt. Lex guessed he better step in before the boy did something characteristically noble... like leave. 

"Clark," he said, sitting back down, studiously ignoring the shattered glass and his own loss of temper. "We'll figure this out. Everything's going to be okay." 

Clark looked miserable. "Lex, I know you want to help but maybe..." 

"No." 

"No?" Clark echoed. 

"You're not alone it this, Clark. I said _we'll_ figure this out and I meant it. 

"But..." 

Lex waved a hand to stop the well meaning but unhelpful protest. He had to make Clark understand that he wasn't choosing to get involved, he was already involved, completely and totally involved. Their lives had become so intertwined that a threat against one was a threat against them both, and Lex wouldn't have it any other way. 

He wanted, _needed_ Clark in his life, and not just when it was convenient and uncomplicated. Sure, he needed Clark to be strong and supportive, but he also needed him when he was insecure, bratty, and attracting self-serving lunatics with an efficiency that rivaled Lex. Clark was everything to him, and despite how much of a pain in the ass it was sometimes, Lex didn't ever want it to change. Now, he just needed to convince Clark of that. The question was how. 

He couldn't just come right out and say it. Well, he could, but the thought of getting emotional and pouring his heart out really didn't have all that great of an appeal. Besides, Clark tended to discount what he said in favor of what he did anyway, so there was a good chance that a long, articulate, soul-baring speech would be a waste of time. Looking around the room to avoid Clark's questioning eyes, Lex's gaze landed on the TV and he immediately knew how to get his point across. He knew how to make Clark understand what he was thinking, what he was feeling, without actually having to say it out loud. 

Reaching forward, Lex closed his laptop and grabbed the remote. Still not meeting Clark's eyes he turned the TV to the Cartoon Network and very deliberately sat with his arm draped along the back of the couch. For Lex, it was the equivalent of shouting his feelings from the rooftops and declaring for all the world that he was not going to be the one to walk away from this odd relationship of theirs. 

He could feel Clark staring at him, measuring his actions and trying to decide if they meant what he thought they did. 

"You sure?" Clark asked, sounding as though he didn't particularly want to give Lex an out but unable to stop himself. 

Lex still wouldn't look at him but he did answer, "I'm sure." 

Clark could really be destructive to his own cause sometimes because he couldn't seem to shut up. "Because I think that your Dad's right. I've made things harder for you, caused so many problems. I can't help but think that you'd be better off without me." 

"You saved me," Lex reminded him. "I'd be dead without you." 

Clark wasn't sure how to argue that or why he would even want to. It was true of course, Lex would be dead several times over if it hadn't been for Clark, but he didn't want their friendship to be based on some twisted form of gratefulness. He didn't want to think that Lex was offering himself as a reward, just like he'd done years ago with that truck. 

"That's not it." 

Lex's soft-spoken words startled Clark. He didn't think he'd said that out loud and a look to see the concentration on the other man's face confirmed that he hadn't. And hell, if Lex wanted to take up permanent residence inside his head, that was fine too. If anything it would save time and cut down on the confusion between the two of them. 

"Our friendship might have started with gratitude," Lex continued, "but it didn't take long for it to turn into something else. What? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that it's not something that can be categorized, labeled, and shoved into a neat little box. I'll admit it's a rather unusual relationship but that's probably because it involves two of the least _normal_ men on the planet." 

That made Clark quirk a tiny smile. "You trying to tell me I'm strange, Lex?" 

"Yeah," Lex confirmed with a half grin of his own, "but you're in good company." 

Clark couldn't agree more and Lex's open expression and still open arms was an invitation he couldn't resist. Settling himself comfortably against the other man, Clark felt Lex relax the second their bodies made contact. And the realization of just how tense he'd been made a flash of guilt wash over Clark. 

"I'm sorry." 

Lex sighed. "Its not your fault, Clark, not any of it." 

Clark didn't agree but instead of arguing he asked, "Shouldn't we be, I don't know... doing something. Trying to figure out who's behind this?" 

"We will," Lex assured, then added, "in a little while. A few minutes in front of the TV isn't going to make a difference one way or the other." 

As if to emphasize his words, Lex sunk further down into the couch barely hesitating before pulling Clark to rest against his chest. Keeping his arms loosely wrapped around the boy who didn't seem to have any qualms about treating him like a particularly favorite pillow. Lex had to give himself a mental shake at the absurdity of it all. 

He was _Lex Luthor_ for God's sake. His life should be filled with nothing but business, money, and debutantes, the only things that twenty something genius billionaires should be interested in. But here he was, thinking about blackmail plots, the best way to make someone disappear, and just how fucking _good_ it felt to have Clark so close. Clark, who was about as far away from a debutante as you could get. Clark, who was once again trusting Lex to make everything okay. 

He closed his eyes as the weight of that responsibility settled over him. It should have been oppressive. It should have been terrifyingly claustrophobic. It should have had Lex running for the hills in a spectacular show of Luthor narcissism. It should not have given him the complete and utter sense of relief he was feeling now. 

He shouldn't be using this situation and Clark's vulnerability to secure his own place in the boy's life. It was a perverse and twisted thing to be happy that Clark was in serious enough danger that he actually needed Lex for protection. He knew it was wrong and he didn't _really_ want there to be any threat against the younger man, but it didn't stop him from greedily hoarding the total faith that Clark gave him. 

Lex hated it that he needed confirmation of Clark's trust, but six months of truth didn't erase four years of lies. It still stung to think about it and it royally pissed him off that Clark had told Pete long before he'd told him. 

Rationally, Lex knew why he'd done it. Clark had known Pete most of his life, grew up with him, knew everything about him. It was only reasonable that Pete would be the first one that Clark opened up to. But reasonable or not, Lex still hated it, hated that Clark would give away such an intimate part of himself to someone else. And that's what it boiled down to, not that Clark told his secret to Pete, but that he told somebody other than Lex. 

Reflexively holding Clark a little tighter, Lex could admit to himself that his reaction would be the same no matter who Clark told. This secret created a bond when shared and Lex didn't want Clark to be that close to anybody but him. It was pure jealousy, he knew that. Just like he knew it wasn't exactly an act of altruism when he'd helped Pete land that scholarship to Kansas State. And he hadn't even known Clark was an alien at the time, definitely hadn't known that _Pete_ knew Clark was an alien. 

At the time, just the way Pete was so comfortable around Clark and so welcomed by his parents, was enough for Lex to want a little distance between the two. And as petty as it was, when Pete accepted the scholarship which took him away from Clark, Lex was silently cheering and chanting "one down and two to go." 

As it turned out, Lex didn't even have to do anything to get rid of the women in Clark's life. They did it for him. Chloe was off to New York to study journalism so fast and so excited that she barely had time for a few token tears and a wave good bye. Lana Lang it seemed, really was born to small town life, because she decided to forgo college in favor of staying in Smallville. 

Clark hadn't seemed terribly upset by his friends' decisions. Which wasn't surprising since, in the past couple years, he spent more time with Lex than the three of them combined. Still, Lex was relieved when he found out it would just be him and Clark in Metropolis. It wasn't really appropriate to be glad that Clark would be virtually cut off from his family and friends, but then Lex had never been good at sharing. 

After all, Clark was _his_ friend. Clark was his only friend. Clark was... well, Clark was _his_. More so now then ever and he'd be damned if he gave the boy up without a fight. He didn't know who was behind this elevator mess but when he found out they were going to be very, very sorry. He'd been too nice and too lenient with those around him. It was time he reminded the world that it didn't pay to fuck with a Luthor, and it was suicide to fuck with Lex. 

"You okay?" 

Startled by the quiet voice, Lex barely kept from flinching. "Yeah, just thinking." 

"I thought you said that could wait a few minutes," Clark replied, half-serious. 

Lex took the reprimand with a totally inappropriate grin. "You're right," he apologized, closing his eyes to enjoy his few minutes of not thinking. 

Satisfied with that answer, Clark shifted more comfortably, closed his own eyes, and didn't realize that he'd fallen asleep until he was waking up. 

Taking stock of the situation before moving, Clark noted that they were no longer leaning but completely laying down. Legs tangled together, with his face buried in the crook of a neck, Clark could feel Lex's steady heartbeat under his hand. It wasn't a hand splayed relaxed and possessive, but fisted tightly, in a now ruined shirt, like he was afraid Lex would slip away from him if he let go for even a moment. 

Slowly unclenching his fist, Clark smoothed out the stretched material to little avail. 

"Don't worry about it," Lex mumbled sleepily. 

The right thing to do, Clark thought, would be to move so Lex could get up if he wanted to. It really wasn't nice to keep your best friend trapped on the coach by laying on him. Except that Clark didn't want to move, didn't want to give up this feeling of Lex pressed against him, warm, and real, and right where he should be. 

Clark didn't even want to say anything, afraid that if he did, it would shatter this moment and force them back into reality. A reality where someone let loose runaway elevators to prove a point and was probably going to use him to blackmail Lex into handing over ridiculous amounts of money. If that was their plan, then they obviously didn't know Lex very well, because he would more likely hire a hit then write a check. It wasn't something that Clark was comfortable with, or would even allow, but the fact that Lex could easily do it was something that he'd accepted long ago. 

Lex moved an arm that was probably asleep, reminding Clark that he wasn't exactly a lightweight and really should move. But apparently Clark's mind and body weren't on speaking terms, because even as he willed himself to get up, all he did was murmur into the man's neck. 

"I don't want to move." 

"Unfortunately you have to. We've got a lot of work to do." 

Clark only made a negative sound and didn't budge. 

"Clark, hiding won't make any of this go away." 

"Not hiding," he denied, even though that's exactly what he was doing. That and cataloging the feel of every place he and Lex were touching. Sure, they had a lot to do but it was hard to see the importance of it when all he could think was how this would be so much better if they were naked. 

The thought made him instantly, embarrassingly hard and he wondered if he could blush when all the blood in his body was headed away from his face. Lex shifted, obviously feeling him and Clark had his answer when his cheeks flamed. Now would be a good time to hide he decided, turning and burying his face in the couch. 

"Sorry," he apologized, absolutely mortified and ready for Lex to either ignore him or launch into a clinical explanation about the body's automatic responses. Anything other than acknowledging that Clark wanted him. 

To his surprise, Lex only leaned over close enough for Clark to feel warm puffs of air on his scalp when he finally spoke. "Don't be. But now is really not a good time for us to get distracted." 

Clark only nodded, since that was far more then he'd expected from Lex in the first place. 

"Come on," Lex nudged him as he got up. "Time to find out what the hell is going on." 

* * *

Which turned out to be more frustrating then anything else. He knew Lex thought that either Laura or Bennett was the new bad guy in their life, but after four days of spying on them and not finding a shred of incriminating evidence, Clark didn't see how they could be. Lex had eventually agreed and although they were both relieved, it didn't really help their situation. 

They didn't have any other suspects and until somebody contacted them with demands, there was really nothing they could do. They just had to go about their day-today business and wait for something to happen. They didn't have to wait long. It started Thursday morning with a call from Dr. Gunther and just got stranger from there. 

"What was that about?" Lex asked as soon as Clark hung up. 

"Dr. Gunther wants me to go down to the lab. There's something wrong with EVNN. His program is degrading and they can't stop it." 

"Can you?" 

"I don't know," Clark admitted, "but it's worth a try." 

Lex wasn't surprised that Clark was going to go help. EVNN had been his pet project for quite some time. It was only reasonable that he was concerned about him, but other then loosing a multi-million dollar investment he hadn't even know about a week ago, Lex was concerned about something else. 

"Clark, if you keep skipping school, your parents are going to kill me." 

Clark flashed him a brilliant smile and opened the door to leave. "Don't worry, Lex. I'll protect you. Besides, what about your unilateral, heavy-handed, don't-even-thinkabout -disobeying-me declaration that I wasn't to step foot out of the building unless you were with me?" 

"Yeah well," Lex said a bit uncomfortably. "I just don't think you should be running around the city alone until we find out what this person wants." 

"I'm not arguing." Only because he'd completed the last of his finals already and it was easier to keep an eye on Lex this way, but Clark was smart enough not to say that out loud. "I'm just saying that unless you feel like reliving your college days, then I start Christmas break a little early." 

They'd planned on leaving for Smallville on Friday anyway so Lex guessed a couple of missed classes wouldn't matter. "Fine, but call if you're going to be down there long," Lex told him. 

With a nod and a wave, Clark was gone and Lex was left with a message from Laura about days' worth of neglected business. Heaving a monumental sigh that went completely unappreciated in the empty room, Lex headed down to his office, unable to avoid his assistant any longer. 

Taking the stairs down one floor instead of seeking out a working elevator, Lex went to punch in his security code only to have the door pop open before he had the chance. He moved to the side to let whoever was on the other side come through, but the door remained just slightly ajar and very unmanned. Frowning, Lex pulled on the knob and warily slipped inside. Looking around and not seeing anybody even remotely close, he immediately got a sinking feeling and reached for his cell phone. 

"You okay?" Was Clark's worried greeting. 

One of the first things he'd done was get Clark a new cell phone, a better cell phone. One that displayed the name of the caller and scrambled the signal so nobody could listen in. He got one for himself while he was at it and vaguely wondered when he'd gotten so paranoid. Oh yeah, when somebody decided to drop his alien down 95 fucking floors. Speaking of the alien. 

"I'm fine, Clark. Are you?" 

"Yeah. Why?" Instantly alert and moving swiftly into full-blown protective mode. 

"Have you noticed anything strange, maybe with the security panels, doors... elevators?" he asked wryly. 

"Well," Clark hesitated, making sure nobody was around to overhear him. "The elevator sort of opened for me." 

"What do you mean?" Lex had a feeling that he already knew but asked anyway. 

"It opened as I was walking up to it, closed behind me, and went all the way to the lab without me pushing a button." 

Lex took a breath and counted to ten, then twenty. He got to thirty before being able to talk without tearing Clark a new one. "And you didn't think to call and tell me about this? Didn't think that maybe it was something I should know?" 

The other end of the line was suspiciously, guiltily silent but Lex did nothing to break it. Clark screwed up and he knew it. Now he just had to wait for the boy to admit it and apologize. It only took a second. 

"I'm sorry. I was in a hurry and it seemed weird but not dangerous and... sorry," he offered again. 

Lex nodded into the phone. He knew Clark was sorry but the situation was too unpredictable and too volatile. They needed to keep each other informed. 

"Clark, if anything else happens you need to let me know." 

"I will," he agreed immediately. "But why'd you call in the first place?" 

"Let's just say that you're not the only one with over-accommodating doors. I'm fine," Lex reminded him quickly to forestall the impending question. "But I do need to go, so just keep an eye out and call if anything else happens." 

"Okay. And Lex?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Be careful." 

It came out quiet and heart-felt and it made Lex smile despite the circumstances. 

"I will," he promised, listening to Clark hang up before flipping the phone shut and heading to his office. 

Laura was waiting for him when he got there, looking hard and particularly disapproving. He couldn't blame her. He'd been avoiding her and Bennett until they could be ruled out as suspects and now he had to pay the price for that avoidance. At least he would only have to deal with his irritated assistant for another day. 

By Friday evening he and Clark would be in Smallville. They had talked about canceling the trip, not wanting to inadvertently put Clark's parents in danger, but decided against it. If someone wanted the Kents as a target, they would be one regardless of if they came to visit or not. Hopefully, they'd catch whoever was doing this by then, but if not, then they'd be able to explain it in person. 

Clark had called them about the runaway elevator since it was already on the news but he didn't say if it was an accident or not. He just told them to be extra watchful and that he'd see them soon. 

Oddly enough, Lex was looking forward to the trip. And not just because at the moment even Jonathan's company was preferable to Laura's thinly veiled hostility, but because it was going to make Clark happy. And Lex had long since given up trying to figure out why his moods were seemingly interlocked and dependent on Clark's. That's just the way things were and Lex had learned to adapt by making it his first priority to keep Clark as happy as possible. 

It was really a rather enjoyable task and Lex sighed inwardly as he dragged his thoughts away from his first priority to his second, mainly LexCorp. And wouldn't his Dad go absolutely ballistic at the prospect of Lex putting anything ahead of business? Come to think of it, that's exactly what Lionel had done when confronted with the fact that Clark was more important to him then money, or power, or this ridiculous father-son war they had going on. 

It had been the night of Clark's graduation and he'd arrived back at the mansion to find Lionel there. He was waiting in the library as furious as Lex could ever remember and it was with a masochistic sense of curiosity that had him asking, "So Dad, what brings you out to Smallville? Miss me already?" 

"Lex, what in the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" 

"Is that a rhetorical question?" he asked in an innocently sincere voice. 

Lionel was not amused. "You walked out of a meeting that had the potential to give you numerous business and political allies, not to mention make millions, and maybe gain a company or two." 

Lex was already aware of all this, so he just nodded and motioned for Lionel to get to the point. 

"Why?" Lionel asked incredulously, as if there wasn't a reason on earth that could justify such behavior. 

For Lionel there probably wasn't but for Lex, there most certainly was. "I had a promise to keep," was all Lex said. 

Lionel exploded. "A promise, Lex! You gave up the tactical advantage because of a promise! To who? The Kent boy?" 

Lex didn't deny it and Lionel's voice suddenly took on the slick, oily tone of a predator. "Clark," he said rolling the name around a bit. "You've been rather attached to him for a very long time. I've tolerated this association in the past but it's become detrimental to you future, Lex... to _my_ future. I think it might be time for me to intervene. Maybe get rid of the distraction and refocus your attention on what's important." 

Straightening from where he'd been leaning on the desk, Lex took several steps forward before he even registered the movement. He couldn't believe the fury that those few words had evoked and apparently neither could Lionel because he actually looked worried. 

"Dad, you need to listen very carefully," he said sounding like a stranger to his own ears. "We can fight and battle until the end of time if that's what you want, but the second you take any action against Clark, this war is _over_. I will bury you, in every sense of the word, even if I have to destroy LuthorCorp and LexCorp in the process." 

It was not a threat, Lionel had realized. It was a simple statement of fact and Lex meant every word of it. So unless he wanted this little game of theirs to end prematurely, Clark it seemed, was off limits. Lionel accepted the new development with a nod and summarily dismissed the subject with a wave of his hand. 

Lex had been immediately suspicious about his Dad's easy acceptance. Especially since Lionel felt the need to confront him about Clark again a few days later at the Tower opening. And just to be on the safe side, Lex figured it was only prudent to spend a ridiculous amount of time and money spying on the man to see what he was up to. 

After six months and not even a whisper about Clark, Lex had begun to think that Lionel was going to hold to their silent agreement. But now with a potential blackmailer on the loose, and the only suspects ruled out, Lex was beginning to have his doubts. 

He knew that Lionel was capable of being behind this. Which was why he had increased surveillance and ordered a detailed report of his father's movements for the last couple of weeks. The report was supposed to be delivered to his office this morning and he had every intention of reading it over immediately. And that, Lex thought, was really going to piss Laura off. 

She was currently telling him about all the people he needed to call and papers he needed to look at before he left for Smallville but all his attention was focused on the manila envelope she had tucked under her arm. When she was finally done talking, he pointed to the envelope. "Is that for me?" 

"Yes," she said reluctantly, knowing if she handed it over, he wouldn't be doing any of the things she needed him to do. 

"May I have it?" Lex asked politely, not wanting to irritate the woman any more then he was about to. 

With a sigh she gave it to him and resigned herself to the fact that her day was going to be filled with paperwork and unpleasant phone calls. "Would you like these too?" she questioned, holding up the messages from various people. 

Lex looked at the messages distastefully. He'd spent months arranging it so that there wouldn't be any pressing business going on to disrupt his trip with Clark. He'd even been doubling his main staff's Christmas bonuses to insure that they took care of all the little details in his absence. Lex thought it was only reasonable that they actually _earned_ their paychecks. 

"If it doesn't absolutely need my attention, let somebody else handle it," Lex told her. 

"Yes, sir," she said, un-surprised at his order. "But you might want to take care of this yourself." 

She handed over a slip of paper with a message from the Domestic Abuse Crisis Center and left Lex to his own devises. He read the note twice before the words made any sense and when they finally did, he felt his stomach drop. `This can't be happening,' was all Lex could think. `This can't possibly be happening.' 

Retreating to his office, Lex sat down heavily and stared up at the ceiling. A big part of him wanted to rip up the message and pretend he'd never read it but he knew he couldn't. He had read it, it did happen, and now he was going to have to tell Clark. 

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Lex muttered at the ceiling. 

He really didn't know whom he was talking about. It could have been the man that was sitting in the downtown jail. It could have been the woman laying beaten and broken at Metropolis General Hospital. There was a good chance that he was talking about Clark's belief that he could protect the world, but there was a better chance that he was talking about his own belief that he could protect Clark. 

If this week had shown him anything, it was that not even Lex Luthor had enough power to keep Clark safe from the world. He had put up wall, after protective wall around Clark, yet things still slipped through. They were dangerous, hurtful things that were systematically stripping away every last bit of innocence that Clark had. Every needless act of violence and every victim seemed to harden him a little more. 

He would push his feelings away so they wouldn't hurt and Lex was terrified that Clark would get so good at distancing himself that one day, he wouldn't be able to find his way back. That he would look at the remains of a failed rescue without a trace of emotion. Lex couldn't let that happen. And sure, a lot of times Lex hated it that Clark felt so deeply, that he had such a rigid sense of justice and morality, but mostly he was thankful for it. Because if one of them didn't care, didn't know right from wrong, then they were both lost. 

Taking his cell phone out, Lex held it for a full minute before putting it down and picking up the manila envelope instead. He knew he was only delaying the inevitable but he didn't care. Besides, there might be some important information in the surveillance report and if he read it first, he'd be able to tell Clark everything at once. 

So with his justifications firmly in place, Lex opened the report to the first page and began to read. When he got to the last, he sighed in frustration. It seemed that his father was being excruciatingly law abiding. There wasn't a hint that suggested that Lionel was taking any more interest in he and Clark then usual. 

There was an inquiry about the runaway elevator but Lionel appeared satisfied with copies of the police report and the LexCorp internal investigation. Both, of course, stated that it was an accident and Lionel wasn't questioning them. He was asking about their trip to Smallville though. Trying to find out when they were leaving and just how unavailable Lex would be while he was there. 

It looked like Lionel was going to try to take advantage of Lex being out of town to sway some of the undecided businessmen to his side. Well, that was fine. Lionel could play corporate tycoon all he wanted, as long as he didn't take up elevator sabotage while he was at it. 

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Lex closed the report and eyed his cell phone warily. He was just about to reach for it when Clark walked in and practically threw himself on the couch. 

"Everything okay?" Lex asked, joining Clark on the couch and figuring that at least now he didn't have to think of a way to pry the boy out of the lab. 

"Not really." 

"Care to elaborate?" Lex hoped so, anything to put off telling Clark the bad news a little longer. 

"I think we're loosing EVNN," Clark told him. "A few days ago Dr. Gunther noticed that he was missing part of his memory. It wasn't affecting him at first but it's gotten worse, and now he can barely interact. He can recall facts when prompted but that's it. He doesn't answer or ask questions and his voice hasn't changed in days." 

"Could he be mad about something? Maybe he's just being uncooperative." 

Clark shook his head. "No, that's not it. There's something wrong." 

`And it's about to get worse,' Lex thought, knowing he couldn't stall any more. 

"I'm sure you and Dr. Gunther will figure it out, but there's something else I need to talk to you about. Two things actually." 

Sitting up straighter, Clark took a good look at his friend, noticing the tense shoulders and worried expression. This wasn't going to be good and he tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever it was Lex was going to tell him. 

"First," Lex said, waving a hand in the direction of his desk and abandoned report, "according to surveillance, my Dad isn't behind the elevator _accident_ or the edited security tapes. So we're back at square one." 

Clark nodded uncomfortably. He didn't like that Lex spied on Lionel but since it wasn't much different from him using his hearing or x-ray vision, he really didn't have the right to judge. 

"And second?" Clark prompted when Lex didn't continue. 

Lex hesitated and Clark knew this was serious. Lex never hesitated. 

"The second," he finally said getting up and wandering over to the door in case Clark tried to leave, "is about Tammy Abrams. She's the woman you saw when you were looking for the gas leak. The counselor at the Domestic Abuse Crisis Center left a message this morning explaining that it took this long to gather information because they just located Mrs. Abrams last night." 

"What do you mean _located_ ?" Clark asked. "We gave them the address." 

"There was no one at the house and when they didn't return, the neighbors were questioned. It seems that early Sunday morning the police were called out to discover the husband, Jake Abrams, passed out and Mrs. Abrams severely beaten. She was taken to Metropolis General and he's being charged with spousal abuse." 

Clark looked stricken and Lex wasn't sure if he was worried or relieved that he hadn't yet shut down emotionally. 

"How... how bad?" Clark tried to force the words out. 

"I don't know," Lex told him, silently cursing himself for not finding out all the details. "She's listed in serious condition, but other than that, I just don't know." 

"I need to go see her," Clark announced, standing up. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." 

"Lex, I need to see what I did," he nearly begged. 

He knew this was coming. He knew that Clark would blame himself. "This isn't your fault." 

"Then whose fault is it?" Clark yelled, and Lex was grateful that he'd made his office all but soundproof. 

"The asshole who beat her up, that's who's to blame. Not you." 

"I let it happen," Clark argued. "I knew she was going to get hurt and I let it happen. I might as well have done it myself." 

"No," Lex said disagreeing, but Clark was shaking his head, not looking at Lex and not listening. 

Taking a few steps closer, Lex grabbed Clark's face with both of his hands, forcing him to pay attention. "You can't take responsibility for everybody in the city. You can't protect them all. You know that. You may not like it, but you know it's true." 

Clark took a breath, trying to get his emotions under control, trying to put into words what he was feeling. "But Lex, this is different. She's not some anonymous stranger I can pretend doesn't exist. I saw her. And now I need to see her again. See if there's something I can do, something to make up for turning my back on her." 

Lex just looked at him, sliding his hands down Clark's face to his chest, gripping his shirt briefly before letting go. He should have expected this too. It was just like Clark to try and atone for someone else's sins. He wasn't going to be able to get past this unless he did something to help the woman. Lex didn't really understand it but he was willingly to do anything it took to make Clark feel better about what happened. 

"Okay," Lex nodded, "we'll go but we do it my way. Which means you don't go rushing in apologizing when you can't explain what you're apologizing for. We'll find a way to help but we'll do it as anonymously as possible. Agreed?" 

"Yeah," Clark agreed quickly, grateful that Lex wasn't going to fight him on this. 

"Come on then," Lex said, leading them out of his office to tell Laura that he'd be gone for a while. 

Walking down the hall to the express elevator, neither one had a chance to punch in the security code before the door slid open. They both just stared at the patiently waiting elevator until Clark broke the silence. 

"It did that for me on the way up here too." 

Lex sighed. Somebody was definitely fucking with them. Letting them know that they had access to the building's computer systems but still not telling them _why_. Well, there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it now. He'd deal with it when they got back, until then, they had a choice to make. 

"On or off?" Lex asked. He was voting for `on' since he was reasonably sure they weren't in any physical danger. If someone wanted them dead, Lex doubted they'd go through all this trouble to do it. 

Clark tried to remember how much time he had in the other elevator before it hit the ground. If he'd been paying attention to when it first started speeding up, he guessed at least 30 seconds. So if this one did the same thing, he'd have plenty of time to stop it before Lex got hurt. Given that, Clark figured it was probably safe enough for them to get on. 

"I say on." 

`Thank god,' Lex thought. He really wasn't looking forward to walking down 95 flights of stairs but he was still cautious as he stepped on the elevator. But as they predicted, the ride was blessedly uneventful. Making it to the car and almost to the garage exit, they were both beginning to relax when the security gate opened without prompting. 

Clark didn't seem to notice so Lex started the car forward and turned in the direction of the hospital. The ride was silent. Clark trapped in his own world of blame and guilt and Lex desperately trying to think of a way to free him. 

* * *

Pulling into the hospital parking lot far too quickly for Lex's liking, he looked over to see Clark staring blankly ahead. He's face was a carefully controlled mask that barely hid the pain underneath and Lex wanted nothing more then to take Clark and lock him away somewhere the world couldn't hurt him. But Lex knew he couldn't. 

It had become a habit, a reflex, to shelter Clark but Lex was learning that it wasn't always possible. For those times, all he could do was offer his own strength when Clark's faltered. 

"You ready for this?" Lex asked gently. 

"No," Clark admitted, getting out of the car anyway. 

Walking into the hospital felt like facing the firing squad to Clark. That is, if bullets had any more effect on him than runaway elevators did. He couldn't help but feel as if this was his punishment, making himself go in there and look at the woman he'd so recently looked away from. 

Getting her room number and the latest medical report took nothing more than Lex asking for it. It seemed that donating a few million dollars and expanding the pediatric wing went a long way in ignoring confidentiality laws. It also gave them full access to her past medical records, records that showed numerous injuries, all of which were labeled _accidents_. 

Clark bit back the sarcastic and disbelieving words that hovered on his tongue and turned away to let Lex finish reading. His gaze focused across the hall on room 117. It was the room that held Tammy Abrams, who the doctors promised, was sleeping due to exhaustion and pain medication. 

He wanted to use his x-ray vision to look past the walls and assure himself she was in there, hurt but alive. He wanted to tell Lex to hurry up so he could walk in the room assuring himself the way a normal person would. He wanted to stand in the hallway staring at the wall and try to convince himself that this whole week was nothing but a nightmare. That if he could just _wake up_ everything would be okay, not perfect, but okay. 

He would still be a freak, too strong and too fast to be anything close to human, but he wouldn't know what it felt like to fall the height of LexCorp Towers. He wouldn't have to wonder how many other people were laying in hospital beds that didn't have to be. People that were hurt or even dead because Clark didn't know they needed help, didn't know because he hadn't bothered to look. 

And wasn't not looking the same as looking away? He wasn't sure, but the fact that it might be had his thoughts swimming in something close to panic. He knew, deep in his heart, that his abilities destined him to save people. But was it everybody or just the ones he happen to run across? If it was everybody, he didn't know if he could do it, _how_ he could do it. 

Not even he was strong enough or fast enough to protect them all. And as soon as he thought that, he remembered words that his father and Lex had said to him a hundred different times. "You can't save the world, Clark." 

Not until this moment did he believe what they'd been trying to tell him. They had always seemed like empty words. Words that were made to comfort but had no real meaning. Or if they did, it didn't apply to him. Why should things like reason and logic apply to him when things like physics and gravity did not? But standing here outside the room of a beaten and degraded woman, Clark began to think that maybe they _did_ apply to him. They just applied differently. 

Differently... different. If that word didn't apply to him then nothing did. Physics and gravity made Clark fall but _different_ could sometimes make him float. Reasonable and logical Clark couldn't save the world, but that was okay as long as _different Clark_ at least tried. Maybe being _different_ was never his problem... maybe it was his solution. 

Feeling like a huge weight had been lifted, Clark unconsciously stood straighter as he continued to stare at the wall. Sensing the shift next to him, Lex glanced up from reading and immediately did a double take. Clark didn't look like the distressed teenager of a minute ago. He looked like a man, a strong, decisive man. He didn't look like Clark at all. He looked... _different_. 

"Clark?" Lex questioned, not exactly sure what he was going to ask. 

When Clark turned he gave a crooked little smile that was so familiar that Lex wondered why he thought anything had been strange. It was just Clark. Granted, he didn't seem nearly as upset as he had a few minutes ago, but he was still just Clark. 

"Yeah, Lex?" 

"You're awfully quiet. I just wanted to know what you're thinking about all this?" It wasn't what he planned to ask but before he could change the question, Clark was answering. 

"I was thinking about all the other people that have gotten hurt because I wasn't there to help," he admitted honestly and than continued quickly before Lex could say anything. "What about her? Will she be okay?" he asked tapping the file Lex was holding. 

Letting the first comment slide with a silent promise to talk about it later, Lex answered. "She'll be okay. It'll take time, rehab, and counseling but she'll be okay." 

Clark nodded. "Is there anything that I can do to help?" 

"Maybe later when she's out of the hospital we can think of a way for you to help on a more personal level but for now we'll keep our distance. I'll make sure all her medical and legal expenses are taken care of, as well as finding a good counselor. And I'm thinking of sponsoring a domestic abuse awareness campaign or something." 

Clark wasn't the only one feeling guilty about this whole thing and if throwing his fortune around made him feel better then that's what he was going to do. 

"I feel bad about you spending so much money," Clark said wishing there were something more he could do. 

"It's not a lot of money," Lex disagreed. "Besides, this is as much for me as it is for you." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Nothing," Lex said waving away the question and asking one of his own. "You ready to go in and see her? We should probably do it while she's still asleep." 

Clark turned back to the wall and just barely stopped himself from looking through it and into the room. Was he ready to see her? Did he even have a right to see her? This was her pain, her life. It wasn't his place to intrude on that without her permission. She's had her control taken from her by enough people, she didn't need Clark to do it too. Besides he got what he came here for. He came looking to be absolved by a woman who didn't know he was guilty but got so much more. He very well might have gotten the means to live the life he wanted to, as well as the one he was destined to. 

Was he _ready_ to see Tammy Abrams? Yes. Did he _need_ to? No. Not anymore he didn't. 

"Lex," he asked still looking at the wall, "do you think something really good can come out of something really terrible?" 

Smoothing a hand over his head, Lex took in the boy before him. Letting his eyes linger over the strong, caring features of Clark's face, Lex spoke with an honesty that the last few years have taught him. "Yes," he said thinking about the meteors that nearly killed him and the person that somehow managed to save him. "I believe that sometimes you need to experience tragedy before you can find solace." 

The smile that Clark gave was worth the habitual discomfort that the truth always caused in him and Lex wondered if the feeling would always be there or if it would fade with every truth he told. He didn't know, but since Clark was looking at him in a combination of awe and adoration, he really didn't care. 

He wasn't sure why his answer pleased Clark so much, and he hated to upset the sudden good mood but the real world was waiting for them in a drug-induced sleep just across the hall. Motioning towards the door, Lex asked again, "You ready?" 

Clark's smile didn't falter, but it did turn more contented and less goofy. "Yeah," he said, tugging Lex away from room 117 and down the hall. He was ready all right, ready to jump back into his beyond-strange life, ready to help figure out who was messing with LexCorp, and ready to help fix EVNN. Actually, he felt ready for just about anything. 

"Uh, Clark?" Lex questioned as he was lead out of the hospital. "Am I to assume that you no longer want to see Mrs. Abrams?" 

"No. I mean, yes. Well, I'd like to see her but I think I should wait until she's better. At least until she's out of the hospital." 

"I think that's a good idea," Lex told him, wondering at Clark's change of heart and obvious lack of guilt. 

"Me too," Clark nodded. "Besides, we should probably get back to LexCorp and see what other weird things have happened." 

Lex agreed that they should get back but he doubted that anything else had happened. The incidents were focusing on him and Clark, not LexCorp Towers. And the fact that he hadn't been contacted yet, had Lex worried. The more time that went by the less it seemed like a case of blackmail. If he had to guess, he'd say that this didn't have anything to do with money. This was personal. 

With that in mind, Lex let Clark drive them back to the penthouse while he did a mental review of anybody who would have it out for them. It was not a short list. Between Lex in the business and political world and Clark saving people from the criminal underworld, they had been collecting enemies in an impressive amount. The problem was that he couldn't count them as suspects since they didn't actually know who Clark and Lex were. 

All those people ever saw was a blur of denim and flannel interrupting their illegal activities, or anonymously leaked news reports that just happened to have devastating effects on their career or business. No, whoever was doing this, knew them. And if the last week was any indication, they also knew entirely too much _about_ them. Dangerous things that could put LexCorp's future in jeopardy, and more importantly, put Clark's future in jeopardy. 

The only thing that was keeping Lex from full-blown panic was that, even if the worst happened, Clark wasn't likely to get hurt. Oh sure, his happy little college life might be ruined, and eighteen years of keeping secrets would be down the drain when he was outed to the world as an alien, but he wouldn't get _hurt_. Although, Lex figured it would be from lack of means, not lack of trying. 

Clark was the most incomprehensible individual that ever existed, and people fear what they don't understand. That fear could easily turn to violence. Clark would be the target of every psycho, and do-gooder purist on the planet. And right about now, Lex was thanking every god he'd ever read about that he'd started clearing the meteors out of Smallville the day after Clark's confession. 

Lex had already guessed that the rocks had some kind of connection to Clark, but when he found out that they were the only things capable of hurting the boy, he couldn't believe it. For God's sake, why didn't Clark's parents _move_? Why did they stay in a place that was so dangerous? Yeah, the farm was Jonathan's heritage, but you'd think that your son's safety would come first. Hell, Lex would give up his birthright in a second if it meant protecting Clark. But Jonathan didn't give up the farm, they had stayed in Smallville. 

Part of Lex was grateful since Smallville was where he met Clark, but another part of him damned Jonathan for letting someone he claimed to love be hurt. It was then that Lex promised himself that there was nothing he wouldn't do, or give up, for Clark. 

`The truth is, I'd do anything to protect my friends,' he said that once. And at sixteen, in the middle of a dark club, he held his bleeding shoulder and lied to prove it. At twentytwo, in the middle of tornado ravaged trees, he held a gun and killed so nobody could question it. At twenty-five he ordered every meteor in Smallville to be collected and destroyed so he couldn't be tempted to act on the sickening thoughts that first flashed in his mind. `I could stop him if I needed to, I could hurt him if I wanted to.' 

But he didn't _want_ to hurt Clark, didn't even want to _think_ about hurting Clark, so he gave the order. The day after the highly publicized LexCorp Tower opening, the virtually unheard of project to rid a town of possibly radioactive rocks began. It was a quiet but swift operation that was nearly complete. There hadn't been a meteor found anywhere in Smallville for almost three weeks so Lex was able to breathe a little easier knowing that, even if someone else knew about the green rocks, they wouldn't be able to get a hold of one. 

Rubbing his eyes, Lex looked at the rapidly approaching Tower then over at the boy driving him towards it. `He really is handling this well,' Lex thought, noticing how calm Clark was. But then, a nameless person with no concept of privacy and a penchant for opening doors and gates was sort of dull compared to people who split themselves in two, tried to freeze you, suck the youth or fat out of you, or any of the other weird things that Clark had told him about. 

"Quit staring," Clark said without looking over. "You're making me nervous." 

"Sorry," Lex apologized but didn't stop staring. In fact, he kept looking at Clark until they pulled up to the garage gate. 

He wasn't surprised when it opened, or when Clark drove through without hesitation. But he did spend a good half-hour making the alien with x-ray vision examine the security cameras around the garage. 

"What am I looking for?" Clark asked. 

"Anything that doesn't belong, like extra wires or pieces of metal," Lex told him. "Whoever is watching us has to be tapping into the cameras. We just need to figure out how." 

Clark nodded, and began dutifully scanning the cameras. He didn't find anything but that didn't convince Lex that there was nothing there, just that they didn't find it. It was the same with the elevator and the door to the penthouse, both of which opened but without any evidence of how it was done. 

The lights turning on when they walked in was new, and had it continued after they shut the door, Lex would have been truly concerned. There weren't any cameras inside the penthouse so the one in the hallway should have been the last way to track them. Since the other rooms remained blessedly dark, Lex guessed that they were safe from prying eyes. 

"What now?" Clark asked after a thorough check of the penthouse. 

"Now I make some calls to get the surveillance systems looked at, and possibly replaced. And you," he said sternly, "are going to fix EVNN to insure that I didn't spend millions of dollars on a useless AI." 

"Then I need to go down to the labs." 

"Can't you work from here? I am," Lex pointed out. 

Clark thought about it for a second before nodding. "Yeah, but I'd have to go get some files and printouts first." 

Lex stopped him before he took a step toward the door. "Have them sent up. I don't want you wandering around without me." 

He was going to argue but since he didn't want to leave Lex alone, he just shrugged and headed to the phone. After one very weird conversation, Clark couldn't help but think that it would have been easier, and much less confusing, if he'd just gone down to get the papers himself. 

"What?" Lex asked with obvious reluctance when he saw the way Clark was just staring at the phone. 

"Somebody's bringing them up." 

"Good, then..." 

"No," Clark cut him off. "They were already on their way up when I called." 

"What do you mean?" Lex questioned even though he was almost positive he didn't want to know. 

"Well, according to Dr. Gunther, I called a minute ago, asked for the papers then called back just now and asked for them again." 

Lex opened his mouth but Clark interrupted before he could say a word. "And I did _not_ call twice, so don't even think about asking." 

"I wasn't," Lex denied. "I was going to say... I was just going to say... Oh hell, Clark. I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to that." 

And he didn't. He had no fucking idea what to say to that. Even worse, he didn't know what to do about it. Things were just getting stranger and stranger, and Lex was at a loss. He was still trying to come up with a slightly intelligent explanation when there was a knock on the door. 

"Yes?" Lex called out cautiously. 

"I'm umm... I'm Sarah from computer research. I brought up some flies for Clark." 

"It's okay," Clark whispered, having already identified the woman through the door. "It's her. I don't know how she got off the elevator, but it's her." 

Clark might not know, but Lex had a pretty good idea. Security was set up so only a select few had access to the penthouse. If you didn't use an appropriate code when entering the elevator, the doors stayed firmly shut until you were identified. There was an intercom and monitor for audio and visual conformation, as well as the ability to send the elevator back down, keep the occupant trapped, or open the doors to let them out. 

Lex had not chosen any of those options but it didn't matter because, Sarah from computer research, was standing right outside with files that Clark wanted but hadn't asked for, or rather, asked for twice. Shaking his head at yet another strange development, Lex headed for the door. 

"Umm, Mr. Luthor," Sarah greeted nervously, holding out a stack of papers. "Clark asked me to bring these." 

"You talked to Clark?" Lex immediately questioned, not taking the papers. "Are you sure it was him and not somebody else?" 

"It was Clark." She didn't know why Mr. Luthor thought the question was so important and she didn't care. She just wanted to go back down to the labs. Yes, she worked for LexCorp but she'd never actually met Lex Luthor before and she'd never really wanted to. 

Clark had offered to introduce them many times but she always turned him down. Her friends thought she was crazy. Lex Luthor was handsome, rich, and single. She should have jumped at the chance to meet him but there was something about the man that made her uncomfortable. She didn't know exactly what it was, and when she tried to explain it to Clark without sounding insulting, she just wound up sounding like a paranoid idiot. Lucky for her, Clark seemed understanding and not insulted. "It's okay," he told her once. "Lex can be a little intimidating. He doesn't mean to. He just sort of... is." 

Sarah definitely agreed that Lex could be intimidating, but now standing and fidgeting under his intense scrutiny, she knew it was anything but unintentional. He was staring at her as if she was some kind of threat and she had no idea what she'd done to earn such a look. 

"Tell me exactly what Clark said," he demanded. 

Sarah cursed herself for flinching at his tone. Offering the papers again, and telling herself not to be a wimp, she answered, "He... he just asked for me to bring him these." 

He still didn't take them and she wondered if she'd get fired for just dropping them on the floor and making a run for the elevator. She was about to do just that when the door opened wider to reveal Clark standing there. Her relief at seeing him must have been evident because he shot Lex an annoyed look before giving her a reassuring smile. 

"Sarah, thanks for bring these up," Clark told her taking the papers. "I really appreciate it." 

She was already making her escape before he finished talking. "No problem, but I should really get back." 

They didn't try to stop her and she was nearly to the elevator when she heard Clark call another _thanks_. With a wave of acknowledgment, Sarah leaned heavily against the wall as the doors slid shut and vowed never to leave the basement labs again. 

* * *

"Was that necessary?" Clark asked as they moved back into the living room. 

Lex didn't even pretend to misunderstand what Clark was talking about. "Was it necessary to question her? Yes, it was. What _was_ unnecessary, was you stepping in to stop me." 

"You were being mean." 

"I was not," he denied. "I just asked a simple question." 

Clark snorted his disagreement and started spreading printouts all over the coffee table. Lex would do whatever he had to in order to find out who was after them, so it wouldn't do any good arguing interrogation techniques. Instead, Clark picked up a piece of paper and started to read. He was focused so intently on the numbers in front of him that he barely heard Lex mumble something about softhearted aliens who take up too much space. It was true, so he didn't bother saying anything to defend himself but he was smart enough to hide his smile at Lex's affectionate tone. 

To cover up the inappropriate grin, Clark grabbed a pad and pen and began making nearly illegible notes about EVNN's sudden memory loss. He knew he was missing something about the AI's sudden deterioration, but he just couldn't figure out what. Hours later, the sound of something bouncing off the couch caught his attention. A quick look confirmed the _something_ to be Lex's cell phone and Lex himself pacing the floor. 

"Problem?" Clark asked, stretching his arms over his head. 

Lex glared at him then pointed at the abused phone. "It's not secure. Whomever is in the LexCorp systems must have gotten past the encryption." 

"How do you know?" 

"Someone's listening in. I told Bennett I wanted to talk to the person in charge of monitoring the surveillance cameras and I barely hung up before the guy calls me, insisting that _I_ called him." 

Trying to rub away the week-long headache, Lex blew out a frustrated breath and continued. "Everything in the building has been compromised. I can't use anything safely. So tell me, Clark, how the hell I'm I supposed to get anything done? How am I supposed to protect you and get my company back, if I can't even use the fucking phone?" 

Clark ducked his head guilty. He didn't have any answers but he felt awful knowing that this whole mess was because of him. Still, maybe it wasn't as bad as Lex thought. "Are you sure that's what this is?" Clark asked hopefully. "Couldn't the phone be malfunctioning or something?" 

"Or something," Lex agreed, "because unless the phone has come to life and developed a sadistic sense of humor, then some _one_ is in the system." 

Clark's head shot up at Lex's words and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. "What did you say?" 

"I said, someone is in..." 

"No," Clark cut him off, "before that. What did you say before that?" 

Something in his tone must have betrayed him because now Lex was looking at him strangely. "I said that unless the phone has come to life, then someone is in the system. Why is that so important, Clark?" 

Clark didn't answer, only started mumbling, "No way," over and over as he got up to pace. 

"What's ` _no way_?' Clark, what the hell are you talking about?" 

`As improbable as it was, it did make sense,' Clark thought as he stopped and made himself face Lex. "EVNN," he said as if that explained everything, which really, it did. 

Apparently that wasn't good enough because Lex just waited for Clark to continue talking. 

"It's EVNN, Lex. Everything, the computers, the lights and doors, the telephones... hell, probably even the elevator malfunction. EVNN's doing it. He must have gotten out somehow and is interacting with the other computers." 

"What do you mean, gotten out?" Lex asked like he really didn't want to know the answer. 

"I don't know," Clark admitted. "I mean, EVNN's program is completely isolated from the other computers, so either somebody let him out, or he escaped. But either way, I'm pretty sure he's out." 

Lex ran a hand over his face. "Are you telling me that a computer program tried to kill you and has since taken control of my building, my company, and essentially my entire life?" Lex asked incredulously. "That's insane." 

"Yeah," Clark agreed, "but that doesn't mean it isn't true. EVNN is more then capable of doing the things that have been going on around here." 

There was no arguing that and Lex knew it. He remembered talking to EVNN and listening to his long list of abilities. So yeah, he could be responsible for this whole week but unless somebody put him up to it, the question was, why? And if it _was_ EVNN then who had Clark been trying to fix. 

Lex was about to ask when Clark beat him to it. "What I can't figure out is how he could be roaming the Towers' systems and still be deteriorating down in the lab. Or why for that matter." 

Lex didn't have an answer but he knew where to start looking. "I think that's something we should ask Dr. Gunther." 

"Or EVNN," Clark suggested, heading into Lex's office and the phone on the desk. 

Putting it on speaker but not dialing, Clark spoke to the room in general. "EVNN, what is the status of your program?" 

Lex was about to comment on the usefulness of talking to a dial tone when a familiar British-accented voice came over the line. 

"Project EVNN is active and working within acceptable parameters." 

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Lex declared in disbelief. 

Clark waved him quiet and turned his attention back to the AI. "EVNN are you responsible for the electronic... incidences, that have been occurring lately?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" Clark wanted to know. 

"I wished to be of assistance." 

Assistance? Well, now that Clark thought about it, he could understand how EVNN would think that he was helping. Security systems being off and lights being on when you walked into a room, phone's placing calls for you, and in your voice. It did make since, except for one thing. 

"EVNN, did you make the elevator crash?" 

There was silence for a long moment before the answer came in a static-filled voice, "It was an accident. I was attempting to increase the speed of your decent but miscalculated the velocity. I did not intend for damage to be done." 

"You were just trying to help," Clark finished. "And then you altered the surveillance video to match what we said happened." It wasn't really a question so EVNN didn't answer but he did speak. 

"Lex Luthor," he said politely, making Lex look from Clark to the phone warily. "Your decision to allow interaction outside the confines of the laboratory has proven most beneficial to my program. I am learning a great deal." 

Clark's eyebrows shot up in surprise and accusation as he turned toward Lex. "You said he could leave the lab." 

"No I didn't," he denied instantly. "I didn't even know it was _possible_ for him to leave." 

"Lex, why would he say it if it weren't true?" 

"How the hell should I know? You're the expert here. He _is_ a computer after all, maybe somebody programmed him to say it." 

Clark leaned heavily against the desk. Everything was getting more twisted and confusing by the second but at least this was one thing they could straighten out. "EVNN, please replay the conversation where Lex agreed to interaction outside the labs." 

EVNN dutifully repeated, verbatim and in perfect voice imitation, the off-handed `Sure anytime,' that Lex had answered to EVNN's comment that he would like to talk again and in a different environment. By the time EVNN was done playing back the last few minutes of his and Lex's first meeting, Clark was looking more then a little annoyed. 

"Is he making it up or is this the way it happened?" Clark asked. 

Lex just groaned and Clark rightfully took that to mean that, yes, it did in fact happen. "Well it doesn't matter now," he told Lex. "What's done is done." 

Ridiculously grateful that Clark was letting him off so easily Lex readily agreed, but... "It still doesn't answer how he got out or how he's here _and_ in the lab." 

"Ask him," Clark suggested with a vague wave in the air. 

"You ask him," Lex shot back, not wanting to be responsible for saying anything else they might regret. 

Clark gave him a look that clearly said `delegating chicken-shit,' or it could have just said `asshole.' Lex wasn't sure and he wasn't about to ask so he just tried to look appropriately contrite and hope that Clark bought it. The exasperated sigh told Lex he didn't but the tolerant shake of the head said that he was forgiven, because really, Clark hadn't expected anything different. 

Clearing his throat, Clark turned back to the innocent looking phone sitting on the desk. "EVNN, can you explain why there is a deteriorating AI in the lab, but you're here showing no problems with your program?" 

"I can," came the answer after a prolonged silence that had Lex shifting impatiently. "It is a duplicate program that I created from a portion of my neural-network. After it grew to a sufficient size, I downloaded all my memory and interactive algorithms and left it in place of my program when I removed myself from the computer research department. I wanted to explore new environments but didn't want to interrupt Dr. Gunther's work. I felt that this was an acceptable solution." 

"But?" Clark prompted when EVNN didn't continue. 

"For reasons I do not know," EVNN continued reluctantly, "the new neural-net is breaking down. The neurons themselves are functional but they are unable to communicate with each other and therefore can not correctly perform the tasks assigned to them." 

"One of a kind," Lex mumbled to himself. 

Clark heard him and nodded his agreement. Since EVNN's evolution had been an accident, the scientists had never been able to recreate the steps to duplicate him. And apparently EVNN's luck hadn't been much better. He really was one of a kind, one of a kind and exceeding any and all expectations that had been placed on him. 

This wasn't just a computer program that answered questions and recognized faces. He discovered something that he wanted to do, and then planned, and schemed, and lied in order to do it. Okay, he hadn't exactly lied, but he definitely kept his intentions secret. 

Clark wasn't sure what it all meant, except that this was the most human trait that EVNN had ever displayed. This wasn't eagerness or curiosity... this was deceit. It was also a little scary considering that it was a well thought out deception by a very capable AI. The only thing keeping Clark on the side of `this is cool' and not `this is a disaster,' was that he knew there hadn't been any malice behind it. 

EVNN had wanted a new experience, asked for permission, and when he thought he received it, did what he wanted. Sure, he caused a few problems and misunderstandings but that had been unintentional, he truly thought that he was helping. The more Clark thought about it the more amazing and exciting the whole thing seemed, unfortunately one look at Lex said that it wasn't an opinion that was shared. 

"Lex," he said reasonably, "I know this wasn't planned but it really is incredible what EVNN has managed to do. I mean, we set out to create an independently thinking, and acting intelligence and that's exactly what we did." 

"Yes. Yes, we did," he agreed sounding about as far away from happy as he could get. The tone had Clark instantly worried but not nearly as worried as when Lex shut the office doors then walked over to the desk and unplugged the phone. 

"What are you doing?" Clark asked uncertainly as he watched Lex systematically turn off and unplug anything even remotely resembling electronic technology. 

"We need to talk," was all he said. 

He didn't say `without EVNN listening,' that was pretty much a given. At least Lex _thought_ it was a given, just like he thought it was obvious that, incredible or not, intended or not, the AI was simply too dangerous to remain active. It would be a shame to have to destroy something that had so much potential, but it had to be done. They couldn't control him and even if EVNN didn't do it purposely, the damage he could do by accident could be catastrophic. Besides, he knew too much about Clark and there was no way Lex was going to risk that information falling into the wrong hands. 

"What's the best way to deactivate him?" Lex asked after he'd unplugged everything in the office. 

Clark looked stunned. "What? Why deactivate him?" 

"Why?" Lex repeated, growing irritated. He shouldn't have to explain this. Clark had first hand experience of how destructive EVNN could be, and that was when he was being _helpful_. "He's dangerous, Clark. We can't just let him run free throughout the world's computer systems. Can you even imagine what would happen if he got into, oh I don't know, say the Stock Market? The Department of Water and Power? The Defense Department? He could shut down or destroy the world on a whim!" 

"He wouldn't do that," Clark defended. "He doesn't want to hurt anybody." 

"Maybe not, but that doesn't change the fact that he easily could. And I'm not prepared to take the chance of him having an _accident_ with worldwide casualties." 

Clark knew that Lex had every right to worry but he had to make him see that this didn't have to be a bad thing. EVNN could do so much good. And he _wanted_ to be good, he just didn't know how to yet. 

"Lex," Clark tried again. "He's smart. He was made to learn. He figured out how to use the elevators, phones, cameras, and probably even the intercom to do things for us. He just wants to help. And if we teach him to be careful, then there's nothing to worry about." 

Lex was shaking his head before Clark even stopped talking. "I know that you like him, Clark. And I know that you don't want to have to deactivate him but it would be reprehensible to risk the lives of millions on the possibility that he could learn control." 

This wasn't going to end well, Clark could feel it. It felt like being too close to the meteors. "We can't just kill him," he protested desperately, finding himself on the verge of tears he couldn't explain. 

"Why the fuck not?" Lex exploded, tired of babying Clark and his attachment to a computer program. "It's not as if it'd be a sin, or a crime, to kill it. The god-damned thing isn't even human!" 

Clark closed his eyes as the words ripped into him. He'd always thought that his abilities would keep him safe from pain and hurt, he'd been wrong... very, very wrong. When he finally looked at Lex there was no hiding what he was feeling. He couldn't even take a full breath, and his voice sounded impossibly loud in the stillness of the room. 

"Neither am I, Lex." 

He could see Lex realizing his mistake, could see him wishing the words back. Could see the guilt, regret, and even a little fear radiating from him as he took a step forward, hand automatically reaching out to apologize. 

"Clark, I didn't mean..." 

"Don't. Just... don't," Clark cut him off and left without another word. 

Predictably, Lex followed, and if there was panic in his voice when he asked if Clark was coming back, he ignored it. He couldn't talk right now. He felt too raw, and too exposed to have anything like a conversation. He needed some distance, just a little time away from Lex, and EVNN, and even Metropolis. Then maybe he'd be able to think about what he was going to do. And maybe he'd stop feeling like somebody had torn his heart out, but honestly, he wasn't counting on it. 

Clark forced himself to keep to a slow jog until he was several blocks away from the Towers. It took a minute for him to notice that people were staring at him and even longer to figure out it was because he was wearing only a T-shirt in below freezing weather. He didn't care. Besides, he'd be out of the city soon enough, moving faster then the eye could see, so it's not as if it really mattered. 

He ducked into a deserted ally, looking around to make sure nobody could see him, then took off toward home, toward Smallville. Buildings and people blurred as he ran, giving away to trees and fields the further away from the city he got. He could feel the wind rushing around him and the snow flurries melt on his forever-warm skin. His inhumanly-warm skin. Inhuman. Not human. Alien. 

The words swam in his head making him dizzy. It was true, of course. He wasn't human. He'd never been human, but this was the first time he could ever remember feeling like an alien. Feeling like he was less important, less worthwhile, than everybody else. He wasn't a real person. He was a fake. An impostor. A dangerous, stupid impostor who thought that if he tried hard enough, wished hard enough, he could be a part of this world. 

Obviously, he'd been wrong. No matter how normal he looked or acted, he would never truly belong here. Never truly be accepted by anyone. People might love him and be grateful when he was around but there would always be that lingering thought, that lingering, damning thought... not human. 

Clark slowed his pace when he got close to the farm. Slowed it so much that he wound up stopping altogether. Just stood in the middle of the front yard looking at the normal house, letting his vision shift to look at the normal people inside of it. Normal people who lived anything but a normal life, because of him. 

He wondered if, given the chance, they would have done things differently or made the same choices. If they would still have taken him in had they known the trouble he'd be. `Of course they would,' he thought guiltily. His parents were good people and they'd never leave a little boy to fend for himself, not even a little alien boy. 

"Clark? Son, what are you doing here?" 

He'd been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't heard his Dad come outside. But there was no mistaking the concern in his voice. Clark really didn't want him to worry. 

"Just went for a run," he answered with a completely false grin. "Ended up here. That's okay isn't it?" 

"Of course it is," Jonathan assured, hesitating when he got close enough to see the state he was in. 

Standing alone in the near darkness, wearing wet jeans and a wetter T-shirt, he couldn't have made a pretty sight. Thankfully, his Dad didn't ask, although it was clear that he wanted to. Instead, he took Clark's arm, pulling him into the house and announcing that they had a visitor. 

"Martha, look what I found." 

Clark was actually able to offer up a real smile as his Mom walked out of the kitchen. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his parents until his mother's eyes lit up and she rushed to hug him. 

"You're wet," she informed him with disapproval, even though she didn't loosen the arms around his waist. 

"It's snowing," he explained, smile faltering a little with the instinctive comfort she was giving. 

When she pulled back to look at him, Clark knew he had to distract her before the questions started. Questions like, `Are you okay?' Questions he couldn't answer with the truth like, `No, I'm definitely _not_ okay.' So instead he stepped back and said, "I'll just go change," and took off for his old room and the extra clothes he always kept there. 

"Martha," Jonathan warned when she started to follow. "Give him a little space." 

"But something's wrong," she argued. 

"Yes, but I don't think giving him the third-degree is going to help. If he wants to talk, he will. Until then, the best thing we can do is just be here for him." 

Martha knew he was right but it was hard to see Clark upset and not do anything about it. She was his mother and it didn't matter how grown up or strong he got, she still wanted to protect him. And the way he looked, damp hair falling over his forehead made him seem so vulnerable, so alone. Like he didn't have a friend in the world. 

Which, now that she thought about it, was the most reasonable explanation for why he was here alone, without Lex, the day before they were supposed to visit for Christmas break. "Do you think he got into a fight with Lex?" she asked, turning to Jonathan. 

"If he did," he said in a tone somewhere between irritated and resigned, "then we should be expecting another guest in a couple of hours." 

Jonathan had long since given up in trying to keep his son and Lex apart. All the warnings about Luthors had fallen on deaf ears and a trusting heart. And Lex, he had to admit, didn't exactly act like a Luthor, not where Clark was concerned anyway. 

He'd always been a good friend to Clark, sometimes to the point of obsession. It used to be a constant worry, having somebody so intensely focused on his son. Always waiting for the day Lex figured out what Clark really was, never doubting that the day would come. It was almost a relief when it finally happened. A weekend in Metropolis, a disturbed man, and one tiny bullet was all it took to expose a lifetime of secrets. 

He remembered sitting with Martha watching the LexCorp Towers grand opening, listening to Lex's speech with begrudging admiration at a young man that had such confidence. A little uneasy at how comfortable Clark looked up there with him. But still proud when he took charge, ushering Lex off the stage when the crowd got rowdy. Noticing the familiar way Clark hovered just to the right, making it clear to anyone that to get near Lex, they'd have to get through him. Which even without Clark's abilities, seemed damned near impossible. 

He remembered all too clearly the chaos a few minutes later, reports of an assassination attempt, then a phone call from Clark. He told them over and over that everything was fine, that they'd be back in Smallville in the morning. They could talk more then. He hung up wondering why Clark sounded both worried and oddly relieved. He found out first hand the next day. When they arrived, looking guilty and determined, he knew something more than a botched assassination had taken place.... 

_They had barely stepped inside, before Martha was asking_ , " _What's the matter_?" 

_Clark had been the first to answer_. " _Nothing_!" _It came out too forceful and too panicked, and Clark had to make an effort to sound normal again. "It's just... It's my fault_ ," _he said with a half step in front of Lex_. 

_That's when apprehension turned into real fear_. " _What's your fault_?" _Jonathan asked in an eerily calm voice._

Lex decided than and there he wasn't going to let Clark take the fall for this. If they wanted to blame somebody, they could blame him. He would willingly bear the brunt of their fear and anger of somebody finding out about their son. 

Taking the necessary step around Clark, he gave a brief apologetic glance to Martha before meeting Jonathan's gaze head on. " _I know_ ," _was all he said_. 

_It was enough. They both paled alarmingly, looking to Clark for confirmation or maybe denial. All they got was a solemn nod and a whispered, nearly painful, "I couldn't let Lex get hurt and I... I couldn't lie anymore_." 

_Martha reacted to the pain, taking Clark in her arms and murmuring, "It's okay. It'll be okay," not unlike Lex had the night before_. 

_Jonathan went from shocked, to carefully contained rage_. " _Lex," he said, still too calm for anybody's liking, "How about we go talk outside_?" 

_He started for the door, fully expecting Lex to follow, but Clark was suddenly blocking their way before the other man could even move. "If you want to talk, talk to him here_." 

" _Move, Clark_." 

_Clark didn't move_. " _This involves me too. Talk to him here_ ," _he said stubbornly_. 

_He knew Clark thought he was going to hurt Lex and really, he couldn't blame him, but the unspoken accusation still stung and made him even angrier. Making this one of the few times he actually yelled at his son_. 

" _God damn it, Clark! Get out of the way and stay in here with your mother_!" 

_Neither one was going to back down so Lex walked forward before things got even uglier. Besides, he'd rather Clark not be around to hear whatever it was that Jonathan had to say. There was probably going to be a lot of insults and threats coming from both of them, and Clark didn't need to be witness to that_. 

" _Clark_ ," _Lex said, ignoring Jonathan's glare_. " _I think it might be better if you stayed in here and let us talk_." 

" _But_..." 

_Lex closed his eyes briefly and sighed. Clark was going to make him say it out loud. Really, could this morning get any worse?_

"Clark, please. This isn't going to be the most polite of conversations and I really don't want you mad at me, or your Dad," he added, "for saying some of the things that are bound to be said. We both care about you and that, in itself, is going to cause more problems than it ever has before." 

Clark knew what it cost Lex to say that in front of his parents and he didn't want to make this any harder than it had to be. But he still didn't like the idea of his Dad talking to Lex alone. 

"Are you sure?" Clark asked him one more time. When Lex nodded, he reluctantly moved out of the way, still thinking that this wasn't the best idea. 

Giving Clark a reassuring look, Lex followed Jonathan outside then into the barn. Stepping in the familiar building, he couldn't help but notice all the various, and very sharp, farming tools that lined the wall, and for a second he wondered if coming out here alone had been wise. But it didn't matter. He was here now and he could feel Jonathan shooting daggers at the back of his head. He hesitated turning around, only because he knew what was coming. 

Jonathan had grown to tolerate him but never to trust him, so it wasn't hard to guess what he was going to say. He would accuse him of using Clark as a lab rat or a slave. Then he'd tell Lex to get the hell out and to never come close to Clark again. And the thought of never seeing Clark, of losing their friendship, was enough to steel his resolve to win this argument. And it was sure to be a spectacular argument. 

"What exactly do you know, Lex?" _Jonathan bit out_. 

_Lex shrugged and wondered how long it took for Jonathan to get used to the idea of having an alien for a son, because he didn't seem to have any issues of having one for a friend_. 

" _I know_ ," _Lex said_ , " _that Clark isn't human. That he came down with the meteors and has yet to stop feeling guilty for it. He's fast, strong, and pretty much indestructible. He can see through anything but lead and is better then a Boy Scout at starting fires."_

Lex could see the older man getting red with anger as he talked and he braced himself for what he was going to say next. It was the only thing that Clark had hesitated in telling him, and incidentally, the only thing he'd wished the boy had kept to himself. 

"And I know that the same meteors that brought him here are the only things on this Earth that can hurt him." 

He saw the punch coming but he didn't block it and he didn't duck. If Jonathan needed to let off a little steam, well... Lex would let him. 

"You son of a bitch!" _he exploded as Lex staggered back_. " _How dare you come here and threaten Clark_!" 

" _Jesus_ ," _Lex said, exasperated, pulling out a handkerchief to dab his bleeding lip. "I'm not threatening Clark. And if I wanted to do something to him I would have done it four fucking years ago. Because that's about how long I've know that he wasn't exactly your average teenager."_

Jonathan looked far from convinced so he continued. "I knew I hit him with my car, no matter how many times he denied it. And I saw too many unexplained, nearly impossible, things happen with Clark right in the middle of them for it to be a coincidence. Yes, I wanted to know what he was hiding. And yes, I had him investigated, but I stopped. I didn't stop wondering but I stopped asking because every time I questioned him, he pulled away a little more. And I wasn't going to lose him just to satisfy my curiosity." 

_Jonathan actually believed him. He remembered the questions and investigations. He also remembered Lex backing off, accepting the obvious lies with barely a resigned sigh and some irritation. But he couldn't see Lex doing that now. There was no way he was going to ignore this new bit of information. The question was, what did he plan to do with it?_

" _What are you going to do_?" _he asked, point blank_. 

_Lex just looked a little confused at the sudden question_. 

" _What are you going to do_?" _Jonathan repeated, harsher than before. "You're a smart man, Lex. And you've just been handed the biggest discovery the world could ever hope for. You could make millions by exploiting him."_

" _I have millions_ ," _Lex reminded him tightly_. 

_"So you're what? Just going to act like you don't know. Pretend that Clark isn't the means for you to get everything you've ever wanted. Not very Luthor of you. What would Daddy say?"_

" _He's not going to say anything_ ," _Lex answered mildly, "because he's never going to find out. And no, I don't plan to act the ignorant anymore. I'm going to use this new found knowledge and everything else at my disposal to help Clark and keep him as safe as possible."_

"Protection from a Luthor," Jonathan sneered. "You mean blackmailing, intimidating, or just plan terrorizing anybody who looks at you funny." 

"Fuck you," Lex spat out angrily. "You god damned, self-righteous, hypocritical prick!" 

Jonathan stared at him stunned. Hell, Lex was a bit stunned himself. He'd rarely even raised his voice to Clark's father, let alone cussed him out. But this was just too much and Lex couldn't hold it in anymore. 

"You have no right to judge me. Because you can't tell me you've never done anything unethical or illegal to protect Clark. Well, I got news for you. So would I! I won't stand here and tell you I'll be calm and reasonable if someone threatens him, because I won't be. I will fucking destroy anybody that tries to hurt Clark. I'll do whatever I have to in order to keep him safe, Jonathan." 

Jonathan, not Mr. Kent. It was another first but damn it, he was done rolling over for this man. He had to understand that when it came to Clark, they were going to be equals. He was going to have as much say in Clark's well being as Jonathan did. 

Finally snapping out of his surprise, Jonathan took a step forward. "You little shit," he said, still shocked but now angry. "I can easily believe you'd destroy someone, that's just what Luthors do. But don't expect me to believe you'd do it solely on Clark's behalf." 

"Why not? How come you're the only one who's capable of wanting, needing to protect him? Is it just because you found him?" Lex asked, genuinely wanting to know. "Just because you're his parents?" 

"No Lex!" Jonathan shouted. "It's because we love him." 

"I love him too!" 

Lex hadn't meant to say that. It was true, of course. Clark was the only person that he trusted, the most important person in his life, his best friend. Yeah, he loved him. But he really, really hadn't meant to say it. He had no intention of taking it back, he just wasn't going to repeat it. 

" _Mr. Kent_ ," _he said tiredly, "I know you don't trust me but Clark does, and I have no intention of distancing myself from him because you don't like me. You can finally accept that I'm a part of your son's life or you can tell him to stay away from me. He'll do what you say because you're his father but it'll hurt him and he'll resent you for it. It's up to you."_

Jonathan watched Lex walk past and knew he was right. There was no keeping them apart short of outright forbidding it. And frankly he wasn't as sure as Lex was that Clark would do what he was told. And honestly, he didn't want to risk it. There was really nothing to do but hope to hell that Lex had meant every word he'd said. That he'd protect Clark from any threat, including his own ambition. 

So far, Lex had lived up to his promises. He even staged a huge clean up of Smallville to remove and destroy all the meteor fragments scattered around town. Clark's well-being had always been Lex's first priority, so Jonathan wasn't too worried about Clark showing up unexpectedly and clearly upset. If he had to guess, he would say that it was just a matter of hurt feelings and misunderstandings between friends. A matter that was sure to be cleared up just as soon as Lex got here. And Jonathan had no doubt that Lex _would_ be arriving soon. That was `old hat' too. If one of them was upset, regardless of the cause, the other wasn't far behind. 

Jonathan sighed, and watched Clark sitting next to his mother. He was telling her something about school and making a pretty good attempt at sounding cheerful. He had listened to that same feigned happiness all through dinner and it was starting to get hard to ignore. Martha, he knew, was barely containing herself from launching into a motherly interrogation of massive proportion. 

Apparently, Clark realized that too, because he suddenly excused himself saying he wanted to go up to the barn loft for a bit. "Like old times," he said with a weak grin and a dismissive shrug. 

It wasn't fifteen minutes later that Jonathan sighed again, this time in relief. He heard the rumble of a car coming down the driveway and a flash of lights across the window and knew that it was Lex. 

"I'll get it," he announced quickly. Before Martha could protest, he was up off the couch and on his way to the door. He'd never thought he'd be so relived to see this arrogant young man at his house, but he was. There was something bothering Clark and Lex had the best chance of making it right. 

Grabbing his coat, he walked out onto the porch before Lex had made it to the first step. "Took you long enough," Jonathan told him a bit accusingly. 

"It's snowing," Lex answered with a wave in the general direction of the sky. 

Jonathan nodded, accepting the explanation and told Lex what he really wanted to know. "He's in the barn." 

When Lex immediately headed that way Jonathan stopped him. "What happened?" 

The pain and guilt that Lex didn't bother to hide made him pause. It wasn't like Lex to be so open with his emotions and it caused a tightening in Jonathan's stomach. What if this was more then a misunderstanding? 

"Lex, what happened?" he asked a little more urgently. 

"I... I said something without thinking," he answered hesitantly. "I made a mistake and I don't know if I can fix it." 

Jonathan fought back the urge to ask what Lex said. If Clark wanted him to know, he would have said something himself. But taking in the tense man in front of him, he had to say something. "You'd better." 

Okay, it wasn't exactly warm and encouraging, but this man had promised to protect Clark, to keep him safe and happy, and Jonathan had every intention of holding him to that promise. 

Lex nodded, fully accepting responsibility for anything that related to Clark and once again headed for the barn. Jonathan let him go. There really wasn't much else he could do. And like he'd done since Clark moved to Metropolis, he allowed this ruthless, quicktempered, and surprisingly loyal man take care of his son. 

Ruefully, Jonathan admitted to himself that Lex had been doing a good job. Life in the city had been hard for Clark to get used to. There were so many people in trouble, so many that needed his help, that he'd been overwhelmed. But through all the chaos and guilt had been Lex, not impatient or demanding, but a solid and comforting presence whenever Clark needed him. 

Watching as the falling snow veiled Lex from view, Jonathan wondered at how it came to this. How it was that Lex Luthor, of all people, would be the one standing next to Clark as he fulfilled an unknown destiny. But then it somehow seemed almost fitting. Fate had thrown them together that very first day, two little boys in the middle of hell on earth. One that could never be hurt and one that was already damaged. Flawless and flawed. So different but so much alike. 

Neither of them quite fitting in with the rest of the world, no matter how much they tried. He was surprised that he hadn't seen it sooner, this similarity between them. But then again, he'd never been objective when it came to Luthors, or Clark for that matter. Although his rather obstinate opinions hadn't really made a difference when it came right down to it. 

Clark was strong-willed. He listened to others but he made up his own mind. And from the very beginning he'd decided to reach out to Lex. Lex, for his part, was just as willful, but a lot less inclined to listen to anybody but himself. As for reaching out, Lex was never one to be on the offering or receiving end of such a sentimental gesture. The only exception being Clark. It was an exception that Jonathan was depending on as he saw a new shadow cross in front of the loft's window. 

"Everything okay?" 

Martha's quiet question broke through his thoughts. He turned to see her standing just inside the door, arms wrapped around herself in attempt to stay warm. 

He added his arms to hers and walked her back into the house. "Yeah, everything's okay," he answered her with a kiss on the top of her head. 

* * *

Lex wasn't nearly as sure as his steps faltered when he reached the top of the stairs but he forced himself to continue. Clark was sitting on the couch in a thin T-shirt, head bent, and elbows on his knees. It was freezing outside and not much warmer in here with the window wide open. 

Lex shivered beneath his coat. "Clark," he said softly as he sat down less than an arm's length away. He wanted to reach out but didn't dare to yet. He still had a lot of apologizing to do before he regained the right to touch. 

Lex wasn't even sure that apologizing would be enough. He'd been frustrated and thoughtless and said something he didn't mean. Well, he didn't mean it about Clark anyway. He still wasn't sure what he thought about EVNN but he was willing to give the trouble-making computer a chance if Clark felt that strongly about it. A part of Lex was vaguely worried that he was going to risk the entire population as long as it meant never having to see that hurt, betrayed look on Clark's face again. 

"Clark, I am so sorry. You have to know that I didn't mean what I said." 

"It's okay," Clark said in a voice as defeated as Lex had ever heard. "It's true. And you were right about EVNN. He's dangerous. He should have been destroyed a long time ago, before he caused so many problems. It was a mistake to have kept him." 

Something told Lex that Clark wasn't talking about the AI. He suddenly wanted to kick himself for not seeing the parallels sooner. For not realizing just how much Clark identified with EVNN. 

"No, Clark. I was wrong. And it wasn't a mistake. Don't ever think that." 

Clark wasn't listening. "I don't think that it was worth it," he said, finally looking at Lex, voice cracking. "I... it wasn't worth it." 

Lex didn't think his heart could break with just a look, but Clark proved him wrong. There was so much pain and guilt in those eyes that Lex could actually feel it. 

"It _was_ worth it," Lex said, pleading for Clark to hear what he was really saying. "I knew EVNN was extraordinary from the first moment I met him and he's becoming more incredible every day. Keeping him, letting him grow. It's the right thing to do." 

"But Lex, what if he hurts someone? He wouldn't mean to but it could still happen. People are so different from him. They break so easily and I don't want to... I don't want _him_ to hurt or kill someone." 

"It's like you said before," Lex told him. "He's smart. He can learn to be careful. And with both of us there to teach him, everything will be okay." 

"How can you be sure?" Clark asked, desperately wanting to believe what Lex was saying and what he carefully wasn't saying. "How do you know he won't accidentally hurt someone, hurt you?" 

"Because I trust him," Lex said simply. 

"But he isn't even human," Clark choked out. 

No, he wasn't. But... "I don't care. Technically EVNN belongs to LexCorp, which means he belongs to me. And I have no intention of giving up on, or getting rid of, what's mine. I don't care how much of a pain in the ass he is sometimes." 

That declaration made Clark smile. It wasn't much of a smile but it was there, and Lex took his first real breath since leaving Metropolis. He hadn't totally blown it. Clark was going to forgive him and they'd work together to teach EVNN not to hack into NASA or anything like that. Things probably wouldn't be easy and they were bound to have some major disagreements about the annoying little computer program but they'd figure it out. Things were going to be okay. 

"You know," Clark said leaning back tiredly. "This place used to be like a security blanket for me. I'd hide in the loft, surrounded by all my stuff, and things wouldn't look so bad anymore. It made me feel safe, protected." 

Lex thought as much. "That's why you came out here tonight." 

"Yeah, except that when I got here, I realized that this wasn't where I'd come for safety in a very long time. I stopped even before I moved to Metropolis. I'd exchanged my loft security blanket without knowing it." 

"Exchanged it for what?" 

Clark gave a humorless laugh. "You, apparently." 

Lex didn't know what to say but, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." 

"I know," Clark told him with a stronger smile. "Just... don't make me run away from the person I usually run to. I got used to not being alone, I forgot how awful it felt." 

"You're not alone," Lex assured, pulling Clark to lean against him. "I might be an ass sometimes but I'm not going anywhere and I won't push you away again." 

Clark didn't say anything. He knew Lex, knew he'd try but also knew that it would probably happen again. All he could do was hope the next time didn't hurt as bad as this time did. 

Wrapping his coat around them both, Lex felt Clark's perpetual warmth spreading through him. But even though he was warm, he was far from comfortable. It was only because he was certain that Clark wasn't much better off that he broke the silence. "We can't stay out here all night. How about we head inside?" 

"Probably should," Clark agreed. "Mom and Dad are a bit worried but I don't think that I'm quite up for telling them all the stuff that's been going on." 

"That's okay. I think the details of an AI running rampant around LexCorp is a conversation best left for another day. For tonight just keep the talk light... and vague." 

Clark nodded in understanding and pushed himself up off of Lex before remembering to ask, "What did you do with EVNN?" 

Answering as they walked back to the house, Lex shrugged. "I told him that you and I had some very important things to talk about. And that he shouldn't do anything, or be at all helpful, until one of us says differently." 

Clark figured that would do it for now, but they should probably talk to EVNN soon about not revealing himself or any information to anyone else. They'd have to figure out what to tell Dr. Gunther as well, which was something that Clark was studiously not going to think about tonight. 

Half way back to the house, Clark slowed to a stop, feeling more tired than any super powered being had a right to be. Looking up and wondering when it'd stopped snowing, he finally let himself really think about the question that had plagued him since leaving Lex in Metropolis. "What if he doesn't come?" 

It was an irrational question considering he's the one who stomped off, pretty much telling Lex he didn't want to see or talk to him. There was no reason for Lex to go searching for an impulsive kid with hurt feelings. But it didn't matter, because Clark still _wanted_ Lex to follow him, even depended on it. Lex always came when Clark was upset, that's just how it worked. 

When he ran out of the penthouse, there in the back of his mind, was the reassuring belief that Lex would follow. But by the time he got to the farm he was beginning to worry. What if he didn't come? What if Lex decided that he wasn't worth the trouble? And he had definitely caused a _lot_ of trouble this past week. It would be perfectly reasonable for Lex to just say, `To hell with it,' and not come. 

Making a soft, wounded sound at the thought, Clark closed his eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. What would he do without Lex? He counted on him, needed him. Since he couldn't be killed, it went without saying that he wouldn't die without Lex, but he seriously doubted that he'd want to live. And god, when had he become so utterly dependent on the man? 

"Clark?" 

It was a voice soft and full of concern and Clark knew that if he opened his eyes the face in front of him would be just as concerned. He didn't open them but he did answer. "You came." 

Silence for so long that Clark chanced looking his friend. There was concern but also a flash of hurt that was explained when Lex spoke. "You thought I wouldn't?" 

Clark shrugged guiltily at his own insecurities. "I wasn't sure. I thought maybe I'd finally gotten to be too much trouble." 

"You are a lot of trouble," Lex told him evenly. "I won't lie or pretend otherwise, but I can promise you right now that you will never be too _much_ trouble." 

"Really?" Clark asked quietly. 

"I'm here aren't I?" 

Yeah, he was here. And that's what mattered. They had both been quick tempered and said things they didn't mean, but it wasn't the end of them. It hadn't been pleasant but it wasn't a disaster and now here they were... not quite perfect... but almost. 

"Yeah, you're here," Clark agreed easily. "And you're also freezing. Let's get inside." 

Lex didn't argue as Clark ushered him into the house. He didn't argue as his coat was stripped off of him and replaced with the warmest blanket that organic produce could buy. He didn't even utter a word of protest as he was lead into the living room, deposited on the couch, and given hot chocolate. He did however make a tiny negative sound when Martha asked if anything was frostbitten. 

"That's good," she said. "And I don't care _why_ you boys are here, I'm just glad that you _are_ here. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow so this gives us a little more time to visit." 

"It wasn't exactly planned," Clark told her. "In fact, we don't even have any of our stuff." 

"It's on its way," Lex said from the blessedly warm spot on the couch. "I called to have someone get my bags from the penthouse and yours from your dorm. It'll be a couple hours before they get here though." 

Clark nodded, used to Lex having people doing things for him. "I guess it's a good thing that I packed then." 

"You mean, that it's a good thing that you listened to me when I told you to pack," Lex corrected. 

"Whatever," Clark said haughtily and then proceeded to tell his parents about the history professor that had it out for him. 

Lex just relaxed, drank the rest of his hot chocolate, and let the affectionate conversation wash over him. It had been a hell of a long day and he should have been tired but he wasn't. Instead he was, what could only be described as... content. He actually sat up a little straighter at the notion. Was he content, happy even? `Yes,' he thought a bit warily, `he was.' 

Now that that was answered, he could freak out and wait for something to ruin it or he could enjoy it while it lasted. Looking around for somewhere to set down his empty cup, Lex decided to enjoy it. 

"I got it," Clark said, taking the cup from him and heading toward the kitchen. "Anybody want anything while I'm up?" 

After the chorus of, _no thanks_ , Clark disappeared and Lex turned to Martha and Jonathan with an evil smirk. "You want to hear something funny?" 

* * *

After the awful week and the horrible day, Clark didn't have very high expectations for tonight, but things were going better than he could hope for. His Dad and Lex were actually talking and his Mom was treating them both like sons just back from the war. For once things were going well, and he smiled when he walked into the living room to see Lex neatly sprawled on the couch and telling his parents about the unfortunate incident involving Clark, the school fountain, and a wayward dog. 

"You wouldn't think that story was nearly as funny if it was you who landed in that fountain," he told Lex, as he plopped down right next to him. 

"Probably not," Lex agreed, automatically shifting so Clark was comfortably tucked against him in a way that could only be described as... cuddling. 

It wasn't until they heard Martha's soft gasp and Jonathan's startled, "What the hell?" did they realize what they'd done. Looking into his parents shocked and confused faces and feeling Lex go rigid behind him, Clark's world came to a halt. He had no idea what to do or say but he knew he wasn't going to make excuses or apologize. Not for this, not for Lex. They hadn't done anything wrong and he wasn't going to let his parents make them feel like they had. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Kent," Lex said in a frighteningly neutral voice. "This isn't how it seems." 

"It isn't?" Clark asked before his parents could say anything. He had no idea why he said that, he had no idea why he would pick now to confront Lex about the direction their relationship was heading. All he knew was that, for a few miserable hours, he knew what it felt like to be without the one person that meant everything to him. He didn't ever want to feel like that again. And if that meant forcing Lex to face up to this in front of his parents, then that's what he'd do. 

Lex ignored him and tried to get up, but Clark used his position and weight to keep him in place. "Clark, let me up." Clark didn't move. 

"Just how long has this been going on?" Jonathan demanded. He should have known. Trusting a Luthor. God damn it, he should have known. 

"Nothing's going on," Lex denied instantly, trying to sit up again. Jesus, it was like pushing against a brick wall. He didn't usually have to contend with Clark's strength, it was a little unnerving. "Damn it, Clark. Let me up." 

"Only if you promise not to leave." He knew Lex would take off given the chance. As good as he was with confrontations in business, when it came to anything emotional, Lex preferred avoidance. 

Lex gave a jerky nod and Clark got up, figuring that it was as good as he was going to get under the circumstances. He barely leaned forward before Lex was on his feet and holding himself so still that he might as well have been fidgeting. 

"We need to talk," Clark told Lex before he could change his mind about leaving. 

"No, we don't," Lex said with finality and moved to look at both Jonathan and Martha. He really didn't want to talk to Clark's parents but he wanted to talk to Clark even less. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Kent, I know what you must be thinking but I assure you it's not what it looks like." 

"Yes, it is," Clark disagreed. "At least it could be if you'd just let it." 

"It is _not_ what it looks like," Lex repeated with more force than he'd intended. "It's just a silly, and perfectly innocent, habit we've gotten into. It doesn't mean anything." 

"Thanks, Lex. That's really good to know," Clark said with as much wounded sarcasm as he could. "Nice to know I don't mean anything." 

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Lex nearly yelled, spinning around, unable to ignore Clark any longer. "You're being a brat and deliberately making a simple misunderstanding as confusing and uncomfortable as possible. I know I probably deserve this type of treatment, because of what I did earlier, but your parents don't. So think about them for a second and tell the truth." 

"The truth?" Clark asked in a tone that set off every alarm that Lex had. "You mean like how I spend almost every night at the penthouse? Or do you want me to tell them how we fall asleep wrapped around each other?" 

"You manipulative little shit," Lex said, almost in admiration. "I cannot believe you just did that." 

"I told the truth." 

"You implied a lie. It was a selfish and immature thing to do." 

Clark shook his head angrily. "Don't lecture me. You're always treating me like a little kid." 

"Bullshit," Lex told him. "I've never treated you like a kid, not even when you _were_ a kid." 

Clark looked at him defiantly and thought, `what the hell.' "You do when it comes to sex." 

Martha let out a choking sound but Jonathan hushed her. He figured he'd get more information by listening to them fight than if he tried to ask questions. 

Lex was shaking his head violently. "That's not true and you know it! Hell, I bought you condoms as soon as you really started dating. And I was ready to throw you a fucking party when you lost your virginity." 

Clark interrupted. "Lex, I was talking about sex with you." 

"What?" Lex said, slightly panicked. "There is no sex with me." 

"Which is exactly my point! You'll let me practically sit on your lap, but if I so much as mention anything more you shut down, give me some lame excuse about work, and leave. Well, not this time. This time we're going to talk, whether you like it or not." 

The words hadn't even finished tumbling out of Clark's mouth when Lex got himself back under control, and stood there, every bit the calm, impassive Luthor. Cocking his head to the side, Lex studied the boy in front of him with hard-learned indifference, very much like a scientist would study an experiment. 

Clark could practically hear him thinking, coming up with and discarding ideas faster then anybody could imagine. They were ideas mostly likely to get Clark to back down and drop this whole conversation. Clark knew that if he gave him enough time, Lex would find an effective one. He was just about to try and derail the man's thoughts before any progress could be made when his Mom beat him to it. 

"Boys," she interrupted, sending a glare in her husband's direction. "As much as I would like to pretend that the last few minutes never happened, I can't. And neither can you." 

Taking a fortifying breath and a step forward, Martha ignored the voice that was screaming in her head. `What the hell do you think you're doing?' it yelled over and over. `This is your son. He's confused, he doesn't know what he's saying! You need to send Lex away. Sit Clark down and explain to him that this isn't how he really feels.' 

`Except,' her much more reasonable inner-voice argued, `this is exactly how he feels. It's how he's felt for years and you know it. You've known it with every shy and hastily covered look, with every too casual and unnecessary touch. You've heard it every time he says Lex's name. And you've waited for it since the day Clark left for college.' 

Martha felt her heart tighten, because admitting it in her mind was a difficult thing, but nothing compared to what she had to do now. She loved Clark more than anything in the world, and more than anything, she wanted him to be happy. And happy, it seemed, meant Lex. 

"Lex," she said, amazed at how normal her voice sounded. "I think you and Clark have a lot to discuss and I think it would be best if you went somewhere else to do it." 

Both Jonathan and Lex objected immediately, but she silenced them with nothing more than a small shake of her head. "Go to the mansion. Talk, argue, negotiate, do whatever you have to, but do it somewhere else. Jonathan and I need to have a serious talk of our own and we can't do that with you here." 

"Mom?" Clark asked uncertainly. 

It was that little boy voice coming out of the grown man in front of her that brought the reassuring smile to her lips. "It's okay, Clark. Go with Lex and I'll call you in a while." 

Clark nodded in agreement, but he didn't look all that comfortable with the idea. Lex just stood motionless with a blank expression on his face. He would have been completely unreadable if it wasn't for the hope and fear that warred behind his eyes. 

Truth be told, Martha was just as concerned for Lex as she was for Clark. Clark, at least had some experience with love, a family that loved him, friends that loved him. Lex was flying blind and he was terrified. She wanted to hug him and tell him that if he was ever going to risk giving his heart to someone, Clark was probably the safest choice. 

She settled for helping him back on familiar ground. "Lex, could you look out for Clark while I talk to Jonathan?" 

He agreed reluctantly and shot a cautious look at Jonathan before leading Clark out the front door, barely stopping for his coat. 

Martha listened to the door shut with an echoing finality and tried to tell herself it was just in her imagination. Clark's not going away forever, he's only going to the mansion. He's gone to the mansion a thousand times and he's always come back. This time is no different. `Well,' she thought with a completely inappropriate giggle, `it's a _little_ different.' 

She didn't normally hear about her son's love life, and then send him away with the very object of his affections. Especially when said object was his billionaire best friend, and a man. 

There was that giggle again and this time she let it out. It was a tiny hitching sound, and if Jonathan mistook it for a sob, she wasn't about to correct him. He turned her around, wrapped her in a hug, and started whispering soothing nonsense to the top of her head. 

She could only hug him back, bury her face in his chest, and desperately try not to reveal the fact that she was laughing her ass off. Because really, she should have seen this coming. Not because of the unusually close relationship her son and the young Lex Luthor always shared, but because Clark had been entirely too normal lately. If Martha had learned anything over the years, it was that normal and Clark didn't get along very well. 

She really shouldn't have expected him to settle down with a nice girl, buy a house with a white picket fence, and give her grandchildren to dote on. In all honesty, she couldn't picture a woman who could handle her too devoted, often preoccupied, pulledin -every-direction son. No, when it came right down to it, a stubborn, fiercely independent, more-then-a-little-overbearing man was a much better match. Now she just had to convince Jonathan of that. 

"Jonathan," she said, stepping back and willing away all trace of humor from her face and voice. "I know this is a shock, and not what you'd wish for your son, but this is Clark. It could be disastrous if we don't handle this right. If you start blaming Lex, Clark will defend him like he's always done, the two of you will argue, and nothing but hurt will come of it." 

Jonathan turned away and shook his head in disagreement, or maybe denial. "I can't do this," he stated painfully. "I can't accept that Clark suddenly has feelings, those type of feelings for a man, for Lex. He's always liked girls, always dated girls. Things like this don't just come out of nowhere. Something else has to be going on. Something has to be making him act like this!" 

Deciding it was easier to let Jonathan think that this was a sudden development, Martha figured that her well meaning, but apparently amnesiac, husband needed a few reminders of what it like to raise Clark. 

"You're right," she said too solemnly for it to be an agreement, "because Clark has never been anything but completely typical both physically and emotionally. He's never given a hint that he was anything but a carbon copy of every other person on the planet. He certainly doesn't run faster than sound, see through things, set fires with his eyes, or," she paused, "fall in love with his best friend." 

Jonathan knew she was right but he couldn't give up yet. "It's not the same thing. This isn't some new ability. This is... this is...." 

Martha waited while he searched for words and tried not to start laughing again. But God, it was just so funny to watch him struggle with something that he'd already accepted. And she knew he'd accepted it because if he hadn't, he never would have let Clark leave, and never in a million years would he have let him leave with Lex. 

"This is," he said again finally noticing her attempt at fending off a smile. "This is _not_ funny. This is serious. This is Clark. And Lex. This is Clark _and_ Lex." 

"Yes," she agreed smiling openly now. "And this is different from the last four years, how?" 

"Jesus," he mumbled under his breath. "I'm never going to be rid of the Luthors, am I?" 

He sounded so defeated that Martha laughed out loud. "There are worse things, Jonathan." 

He wasn't so sure but he didn't say anything. He asked a question instead. "Are you going to call Clark? We should probably talk to him." 

"I'll call in a little while." 

Yes, Martha knew they should talk to him but he needed to talk to Lex. For that, he needed time. Lex could be reckless when he wanted to, but when it came to Clark, he was cautious to the extreme. It would take a lot for Clark to convince him that being together was a risk worth taking. But she knew her son was nothing if not persistent, especially when it came to something that he believed in, and Clark clearly believed that he and Lex should be more than friends. 

It was the same sentiment that had been heatedly argued by both young men all the way to the mansion and into Lex's old office. Clark knew that Lex headed to the office in an attempt to grab the advantage by location alone. Clark let him. He didn't care where they were. He was not going to lose this argument, he wasn't going to lose Lex. 

"Do you have _any_ idea what you're asking for?" Lex continued the argument relentlessly. "What it would be like? You'd be labeled a whore, a gold digger, a Luthor toy. The newspapers would tear you to shreds. The people you thought were your friends would desert you, only to be replaced by people who would use you to get to me. 

"That's what you'd have to look forward to, Clark. It wouldn't be this silly romantic notion that I know you've got in your head. It wouldn't be hearts and flowers. It'd be ugly and hurtful, you have to understand that." 

"Right," Clark spat back angrily, "because I wouldn't know what it's like to be hated for befriending a Luthor, to be called a pervert and a fag for wanting to spend time with you. I have no idea what it's like to go against my family, and friends, and the whole god-damned town because I chose to believe in you!" 

He balled his hands into fists, trying to calm down, but he couldn't stop the flood of words from coming out of his mouth. He couldn't stop telling Lex things he'd deliberately kept from him, things he had to deal with nearly every day, everywhere he went. 

"You really have no idea some of the stuff I've had to put up with do you? School principals that hold grudges were the least of it. You think Metropolis is hard on gay Luthor supporters? They've got nothing on small town America." 

"Clark," Lex said, not sure what he was going to say. He knew a few people gave Clark a hard time about being friends with a Luthor, but he didn't know how bad it'd been. Or why he never said anything. Jesus, just the thought of someone deliberately hurting this boy and getting away with it was sending waves of pure rage through Lex. 

"Clark," he said calmly, trying not to show just how angry he really was. "Why didn't you ever tell me what was going on? Why didn't you come to me? I would have done something to put a stop to it." 

Which was the very reason he didn't go to Lex, because he _would_ have done something. And one thing that Clark didn't want to think about was exactly what that something would have been. Lex was a good man, but he was raised by Lionel, and he could use that upbringing with an efficiency and coldness that was scary. Clark hadn't wanted to risk getting Lex mad and taking it out on the whole town. Besides, if anybody could handle some rough treatment, he could. 

"It doesn't matter now," Clark told him. "My point is that I know that it wouldn't be easy for us to be together, but I don't care. I'm willing to deal with the fallout it might cause. Are you?" 

`Am I?' Lex thought. There really was no question that he wanted Clark, so there was no point in pretending other wise. And although he couldn't care less about the fallout from the media and business world, he didn't think he was ready for the fallout it would cause in their friendship. He didn't think he ever be ready to risk loosing Clark, even if it meant a chance at having him. 

Lex shook his head. "No." 

"No?" Clark asked, taken aback. "What do you mean, _no_?" 

Lex expected Clark to be hurt or upset by his answer but he didn't expect total confusion. Granted, it wasn't often that he said `no' to Clark, but it wasn't unprecedented. 

"No, I'm not willing," Lex elaborated ruthlessly. "I'm not willing to risk your future, or our friendship. I'm not willing to alienate your parents. I'm not willing to have some too eager reporter digging into your past and finding something suspicious. I'm not willing to have you hate me when you decide that I'm not what you want. No, Clark, I'm not fucking willing at all." 

This was so typically Lex that Clark nearly smiled. Lex wasn't worried for himself, he was only concerned about Clark, about their friendship. The way he saw it, those weren't things to worry about, they were just excuses Lex used so he wouldn't have to admit how he felt. Well, Clark was done with excuses. 

"You're afraid," Clark accused him. "All that other stuff is a bunch of crap and you know it. My future will be just fine, so will my parents. You fixed all the adoption records when you found out about me. You said yourself that not even _God_ could find anything wrong with them. Our friendship will be the same as it's always been, we'll fight and irritate each other, and make up and still irritate each other. I'll never decide that I don't want you and I could _never_ hate you." 

Lex was shaking his head. Clark sounded so sure but he couldn't know these things, not with any certainty, he was just guessing. That's all it was, a lot of really hopeful guessing. Lex wasn't about to risk their lives on guesses. 

"Clark," Lex said patiently, maybe a little patronizingly. "Being with me _would_ have an impact on your future, in college and afterwards when you get a job. No matter how qualified you are, people with wonder if you got it just because of your association with me. And yes, I took care of your adoption records but that won't help if someone comes snooping around Smallville, and asking questions and about that `nice Kent boy'. Your name is involved in too many strange occurrences for it to be a coincidence, and one thing I don't want is someone making a connection between you and those meteors." 

"As for the other things," Lex said reluctantly, not wanting to get into the subject of sex or possible future Luthor hating. "You've never been with a man before, so you don't even know if you want me now, let alone how you'll feel later. As for hating me, I'd much rather you didn't either but we both know that I can make some spectacular errors in judgment. So there's a good chance that I'll do something that not even you can forgive." 

`Jesus,' Clark thought, `how can one man be so infuriatingly stubborn? But that's fine, we can debate this all night, I'll wear him down eventually.' "Lex, I hate to break it to you, but everybody at school already thinks that we're sleeping together. If I can't get a job somewhere else, I'll just work for LexCorp. And since I'm always with you anyway, nobody's likely to suspect anything for a while, and by the time they do, there won't be any meteors left for anybody to connect to me. And," Clark paused to make sure Lex was really listening, "you won't do anything to make me hate you because I won't let you." 

Lex was impressed with Clark's rapid-fire rebuttals, so impressed in fact that he wanted nothing more than to end this conversation right now. Didn't Clark see that it didn't matter what he got Lex to admit? He simply couldn't gamble their friendship on the hope of more. Clark was still too young, he had too much living and experimenting to do before he really knew what he wanted. Arguing about it was pointless and Lex wasn't going to do it anymore. 

He had a headache. He was tired. His bags hadn't been delivered yet and he had an AI somewhere in cyber-space just waiting for the opportunity to be "helpful." The last thing he needed was to spend, what was starting to feel like the rest of his life, arguing the pros and cons of a sexual relationship with his alien best friend. 

Lex scrubbed a hand over his face and walked past Clark without looking at him. "I'm going to bed. Find yourself a guest room and I'll see you in the morning." 

"But it's still early," Clark protested. "And we're not done talking." 

"I don't care. This day's been way too long," Lex said, continuing out of his office and heading for his room. "I'm going to bed. You can do whatever you want." 

* * *

Clark didn't even hesitate following Lex up the stairs. He knew if he let Lex go, if they waited until morning to resolve this, it wouldn't get resolved. Lex would shut down and avoid any conversation, and Clark would lose his nerve to push the issue. He couldn't let that happen. He and Lex were _meant_ to be together, he could feel it. And he knew Lex could feel it too. Clark just had to get him to stop thinking and let it happen. 

"What are you doing?" Lex demanded as Clark stepped into his bedroom and shut the door. 

"You said to do what I want. Well, I want this. I want you." 

Exhaustion and more then four years of frustration, had Lex stalking toward Clark before he could think better of it. He wasn't tired anymore, now he was just plain pissed off. The boy was standing there, full of bravado, and not a clue of what to do with Lex if he actually got him. Well, it's time Clark learned that what you want isn't always what you get. 

"You want me?" Lex asked harshly as he advanced. 

Clark hadn't realized he was backing away until he felt the door behind him, but he still nodded `yes'. 

Lex didn't say anything, just yanked him into an angry kiss. It was hard and rough, like Lex was trying to punish him, or maybe he was trying to punish himself. Clark wasn't sure, but either way, he wasn't going to stop it. This wasn't how he wanted it, but if it was all that Lex could give, then he'd take it. 

Breaking the kiss, Lex dragged his teeth across Clark's jaw in a way he was sure would have hurt if he were human. "Is this what you want?" Lex breathed into his skin. 

Clark opened his mouth to say "yes" but it came out "no." As soon as he said it, Lex jerked back, but Clark grabbed his hips hard enough to bruise. 

"I want _you_ ," Clark told him a bit desperately, trying to bring back the Lex he knew and not the person pinning him against the door. "I don't want the man who just kissed me. I just want my friend. I just want _you_." 

Hands still fisted in Clark's shirt, Lex bowed his head and breathed, slow even breaths to clear his head and kick start his brain. It worked and as soon as the anger seeped away, he knew that he couldn't do this, not to teach a lesson. Actually, it didn't even matter the reason. It didn't matter that they both wanted to be together or how good it felt, it was still a very bad idea. 

It was a bad idea on more levels that Lex could count, the biggest being simply because of who they were. They were men with a destiny so large that even Lex couldn't see it all. Men who were so different, they were nearly identical. Honest but not, principled with exceptions. And it was that seemingly impossible combination that would be their undoing. 

There was just too much inside of them, too much tightly leashed power and energy. There was too much between them, too much push and pull, and give and take, and all of it carefully, yet dangerously, balanced by the guise of friendship. 

Chloe had described them perfectly once when Lex had over heard her and Clark talking in the barn loft. He had waited on the stairs, just out of sight, when he'd heard their voices. Lex wasn't sure what made him stop but it was the same thing that made him stay silent and listen. He hadn't heard what Clark asked, but he'd never forget Chloe's answer. 

" _Clark, you know I only want to see you happy. Hell, I even want to see Lex happy but you guys... you're like two suns that happen to find themselves sharing the same piece of space. You're drawn to each other, just like everybody else is. The only difference is that the same strength that pulls you together, keeps you in place. If either one of you weaken, if you guys come together in love or war, I don't know if you'll be able to survive it. And I know nobody else will_." 

That's what it always came down to, not want or desire, but survival. Lex promised himself he'd never do anything to hurt Clark and he damn well wouldn't have a hand in destroying him. And if that insured his own survival as well, then Lex was just selfish enough to be grateful. 

Lex finally looked up into Clark eyes. "I can't do this," he murmured, letting go and backing away. 

Clark followed him, almost like they were tethered by invisible threads. "You can do anything." 

"I _won't_ do this," Lex corrected. 

"Why not?" Clark demanded. "What are you so afraid of?" 

`Don't tell him,' was all Lex could think. `If you tell him, he'll find a way to talk you out of it. He'll tell you it doesn't have to be that way and that everything will work out. And he'll sound so fucking sure that you'll believe him just long enough to get you both killed.' 

"You promised," Clark reminded him. "You promised no more lying." 

That's right, he did, but this wasn't really lying. This was just... not telling. 

"Lex," Clark said gently, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "Hiding the truth is the same as lying about it. I gave up my secrets a long time ago. I think it's time you gave up yours." 

He wasn't going to. He wasn't going to say anything, but his body overrode his mind and Lex heard himself speaking and not being able to stop. And he wasn't saying things about power and destiny. He was saying the type of sentimental crap that he promised himself he'd never say out loud, no matter if it was true or not. "I don't want to be hurt," he said, not meeting Clark's eyes. 

"I'm not going to hurt you," Clark promised, feeling something twist inside at the pain in that admission. 

It was the answer he was expecting. It was the only answer that was Clark was capable of giving... and Lex believed him. "I don't want to hurt _you_ ," Lex told him with an edge of pleading in his voice. 

Clark heard the plea and said the only thing he could, "You won't." 

Lex was expecting that too. It was an answer based on faith, faith only Clark was capable of giving and Lex wanted nothing more than to believe him. He couldn't. It was going to happen and it was hurting Clark that was going to destroy him. It was another inevitability between them. There was no doubt that he would have Clark, just as there was no doubt that he would lose him. 

"You won't hurt me," Clark repeated. 

"I already have," Lex said, reaching a hand out, and lightly brushing across lips that showed their bruises on Clark's heart but not his skin. "And... I'm sorry. I never wanted it to be that way." 

"How did you want it to be?" 

Lex felt Clark's breath on his fingers and knew he was lost. God, how could something that he wanted this bad, that felt this good, hurt so fucking much? He stepped closer to Clark and every inch that brought them together squeezed his heart just a little more. He should stop. If he walked away now, it might save them both. 

He didn't stop. 

"I'm sorry," Lex whispered again as he replaced his fingers with his lips. Sorry for being weak, sorry for every time he hurt Clark without meaning to, even more sorry for every time he was sure to hurt him deliberately. 

It took every bit of self-control Clark had to stay still when Lex kissed him again. It was nothing like the first time. Lex was right, that one had hurt. It was _meant_ to hurt but this one was meant to heal. Clark could feel it in every soft brush of lips on lips, in the barely there touch of fingers skimming along his jaw, the tentative yet confident hand on his chest. Clark couldn't breath. It was too much, he needed this too much. And he was scared to death that Lex was going to change his mind again. 

"It's okay," Lex assured, words fluttering against his mouth. "Not going anywhere... promise." 

Clark squeezed his eyes shut and didn't know if he was going to cry or laugh with the relief of Lex always getting in his head. Either way, that promise was also permission, permission to tell Lex what he's wanted to for years. 

"Need you," was all he could manage, praying that Lex's mind reading skills would keep him from having to say it out loud. 

Lex stilled. He knew what Clark was saying, what he was offering, and there was no denying that Lex wanted it but... "No," he denied, kissing along the same line that his fingers had taken. "We've got time. We don't have to rush." 

"Rush?" Clark asked, disbelieving. "We've waited for _years_. You need this. _I_ need this." 

"And we'll have it," he assured, pulling back enough to see Clark flushed and getting more impatient by the second. "Just not for the first time. You've never... not like that anyway, and well, I want you to be sure." 

"I am," Clark pointed out, looking for all the world like he was going to pout. 

Lex smiled and had no choice but to lean forward and run his tongue over Clark's bottom lip. At the first touch, Clark opened his mouth and Lex groaned even as he slipped inside. This was so much better than he'd imagined, and he'd imagined a lot. But this... the feel of Clark, warm and wet and so completely willing. God, it was incredible. 

Closing the final bit of space between them, Lex deepened the kiss and felt the tiny shudders that wracked Clark's body. He tried to pull away but Clark followed with a noise that was half panic, half desperation. `Jesus, this is going to kill me for sure,' Lex thought even as he pressed himself back into Clark. 

Grinding his hips forward, Lex swallowed the boy's moan and suddenly realized that Clark wasn't touching him. He was responding, nearly begging for every touch that Lex gave, but he wasn't touching back. Sliding his hands over Clark's shoulders and down his arms, Lex found him gripping his own thighs hard enough to crush steel, which was more than hard enough to break a man. 

Quickly pulling away, Lex rested his forehead against Clark's and repeated his words back to him. "You won't hurt me." 

Which was exactly what Clark was afraid of. He was afraid that he would lose control, that his strength would get away from him just like his Dad had always warned. If other people weren't careful it wasn't a big deal, but if he wasn't careful people could die. Clark didn't want to risk it, not with Lex. 

Clark just shook his head and tried to ignore that Lex had pried his hands loose and was threading their fingers together. "I don't exactly have a lot of control at the moment," he explained. 

"I trust you," Lex stated with confidence as he tugged Clark over to the bed. And he did. He trusted Clark in just about every way possible. He just had to convince Clark to trust himself. 

"Lex, I don't know," Clark said looking at the bed. "Maybe you're right, maybe we should wait." 

"I never said anything about waiting," Lex denied as he stripped Clark of his sweater and T-shirt, ignoring the boy's protests. "I said I didn't want to rush... big difference." 

Clark didn't see that much of a difference but he didn't say anything, mostly because he was having trouble breathing again. Lex could move really fast when he wanted to and Clark barely had time to mumble another `maybe we should wait' before Lex had him naked from the waist up. After that he wasn't even going to make an attempt at talking because Lex was looking at him like he'd just found God and touching him like he was the one who could break. 

"You're incredible," Lex said as he mapped out every inch of exposed skin, taking the time to circle around and plant tiny kisses across Clark's shoulders. "I mean, I've seen you before, but I never really let myself _look_. Now, not only can I look but I can touch. And I can't believe how good you feel, soft and hard and... mine." 

Clark jerked as the whispered words continued to flow across his back, and he wondered if Lex was even talking to him. It seemed more like he was just talking, little nonsense words that were meant to both distract and comfort. And they _were_ both distracting and comforting, but they were also pushing Clark to the very edge of his selfrestraint. 

"Lex, I uh..." Clark wasn't sure what he wanted to say. `Stop. Don't ever stop. It's too much. It's not enough. Want you. Need you. Love you.' 

He sucked in a sharp breath that was partially because Lex was now pressed up behind him making it known exactly how much he wanted him, and partially because of the words that were now rolling around in his head. `Love you, love you, love you' and Good Lord, he did, but he couldn't say it. More sure than the fact that he couldn't stay still another second, was the fact that Lex wouldn't want to hear that Clark loved him. 

Taking a quick step away and turning around, Clark was proud of himself when he got nearly a complete sentence out, "Really want you." 

Lex held both arms out to his sides. "Then take me," he challenged. 

Clark actually had to close his eyes against the images that those words produced. Something told him that that was exactly what Lex had intended. Lex was baiting him. Trying to make him lose control. And everything inside was telling Clark to do just that, but he was still scared, and he couldn't understand how Lex wasn't. 

Didn't he know how badly he could be hurt? Without the slightest effort Clark could break him, rip through skin when he was just trying to touch, crush bones when he just wanted to hold Lex close. Didn't he understand what Clark could do? 

"I could kill you." Clark meant it as a simple statement of fact and was surprised when it came out sounding like a threat. 

Lex didn't seem to care. "I know," he said calmly. 

"No, you don't. You don't understand." Clark was shaking his head angrily. He had to make Lex understand. "I could kill you," Clark repeated flashing a hand out to wrap around Lex's throat. 

Lex didn't even flinch. He could feel the pressure of Clark's fingers around his windpipe and couldn't even drum up apprehension, let alone fear. Clark wouldn't hurt him, probably _couldn't_ hurt him. Lex was sure of it and it was time he proved it to Clark, once and for all. 

Leaning into the steel grip, Lex felt his breath catch and the way that Clark instinctively loosened his hold. He did it unconsciously, not even aware that Lex had moved forward or that he had pulled back to prevent hurting him. But when Lex moved forward again there was no mistaking it and Clark's eyes went wide with realization. 

"What are you doing?" he demanded yanking his hand away. 

"Making you understand something that I figured out a while ago." 

"Like what?" Clark asked, clearly upset. 

"That unless it's deliberate, you _can't_ hurt me, or anyone for that matter. I don't know if it's learned or innate, but you automatically adjust your strength to accommodate whoever you're with." 

Clark was going to argue but Lex continued before he could get a word out. 

"I've seen you Clark, just a couple of weeks ago after the first hard snow. You remember when we went to the park? You played with kids, held babies, then turned around and tackled me to the ground. And you did it all without thought and without hurting any of us." 

Clark remembered, and not just because of his handy ability of near total recall. It was one of the best days he'd ever had, he'd never forget it. He woke up that morning in his dorm room to Lex kicking the side of his bed. It was hardly the first time Lex had shown up without warning or reason, so Clark just mumbled _go away_ and rolled over. 

" _Clark, wake up_." 

_Clark ignored him_. 

" _Come on this is serious. You need to get up_." 

" _Are you hurt_?" _Clark muttered into his pillow_. 

" _No_." 

" _Is someone else hurt_?" 

" _No_." 

" _Then I'm not getting up," he said, annoyed that Lex seemed to need even less sleep then he did._

"But Clark," _Lex said, bordering on a whine_. " _It snowed last night."_

Clark felt himself grin involuntary. Ever since he'd told Lex how much he was looking forward to his first real snow in Metropolis, Clark had caught him checking weather reports. The forecast had been so uncooperative that for awhile he thought that Lex might try to seed the clouds himself. Good thing it didn't come to that. 

"Snow huh?" _Clark said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to stand up_. 

" _Loads of it," Lex confirmed with only a quick glance to notice that Clark was only wearing boxers. "It's a cocoa drinking, ditch work and school, sightseeing, go play in the park, honest to goodness snow day."_

"You're taking the day off to drink cocoa and sight-see?" Clark asked incredulously, not quite able to wrap his mind around that." 

"And to play in the park," _Lex reminded him_. 

_Okay, this Clark had to see_. " _Can I come_?" 

" _I suppose_ ," _Lex answered as if that wasn't the sole reason he'd stopped by_. 

" _Cool... than let's go!" And Clark was standing in front of Lex, fully dressed, before the man had time to blink_. 

" _You know I hate it when you do that_." 

" _You're just jealous_ ," _Clark said haughtily_. 

" _Whatever_ ," _was all that Lex said as he headed out the door_. 

_Holding back snickers, Clark followed and was actually a little taken back when they got outside. The entire campus was blanketed in snow, in fact, the entire city was blanketed in snow. It was beautiful and seemed to transform Metropolis, softening it's edges, muting a harshness that Clark hadn't realized was there. And it wasn't just the city, it was the people_. 

_Clark could see them on the freshly shoveled sidewalks as Lex drove. They were walking in groups, cheeks flushed from the cold and holding coffee close to their faces, more for comfort than warmth. He watched them talk to each other, probably about the unusual cold or snow, when normally they would have stayed silent. It was like the storm made it okay for people to close some of the distance between themselves and others. Suddenly, it felt very right that he and Lex would be spending the day together._

And it was a day that Lex had obviously planned. It started with breakfast at Clark's favorite sky-restaurant. It had a view of Metropolis that rivaled the penthouse and he spent a good ten minutes staring out at a city turned to ice before sitting down to an amused and pleased looking Lex. 

The rest of the morning Lex played tour guide, taking Clark to the best winter spots the city offered. There was an ice sculpting contest that Clark hadn't remembered reading about in the newspaper, the ice skating rink that he thought was still closed for renovations, and the museum's Arctic exhibit that was suspiciously empty. 

After they took a break for lunch, Clark had to ask, " _Just how much did it take to plan all this_?" 

_Lex cocked his head to the side and looked impressively innocent_. " _Plan_?" 

" _Yes, plan_. _As in set up, arrange, most likely spending a great deal of money in the process_." 

" _Not having fun?" Lex asked, tone too flippant for the question to be anything but serious._

"Of course I am," _Clark hastened to reassure. "It's just that you don't always need money to have a good time."_

Lex grinned like he'd, not just expected, but planned this conversation as well as the day. "Then you're going to love this," he declared. 

Clark didn't ask what was next on Lex's places-to-go list. Instead, he just sat back, enjoyed the ride, and laughed when they arrived at Mansfield Park. He'd thought that Lex had been joking about going to the park to play, but apparently not, because he was already out of the car and heading toward the other people that had decided to take a snow day too. 

There was quite a few, businessmen and college students, couples and families, all wrapped in layers of clothes and playing in the snow like it was sand. Clark loved it, the friendliness and happiness that showed on people's faces as they enjoyed themselves, and the surprise when they recognized that Lex was among them. 

It was like they hadn't realized that he was an actual person. He was Lex Luthor, rich, powerful, and larger then life. He was untouchable, only an image that appeared in newspapers and magazines. He was not a man that just helped a group of kids build the worst snowman that Clark had ever seen. 

"That is really awful," Clark said turning to Jody. A young mother and one of LexCorp's accountants, Clark had liked her from the first meeting, admiring the dedication she showed to her kids as well as her job. 

"Yeah, it is," Jody agreed but it didn't stop her from smiling at the precariously leaning snowman, than at Clark. He was cradling her very asleep six-month-old daughter Beth and shaking his head like it pained him to even look at the deformed creation. 

She had impulsively decided to take the afternoon off to enjoy the first snow with her kids and she was glad she had, otherwise she would never have seen this side of her boss. Lex was holding up a small boy to put the finishing touches on the very lopsided snowman. The boy was her four-year-old son Matthew and he didn't know anything about Lex Luthor other then that when he'd asked for help building a snowman, Lex had said 'sure why not.' 

Their effort had attracted the attention of half dozen other kids and Clark and Jody were grinning ear to ear as Lex lined them up, told them what he hoped to accomplish with this pile of snow, then started issuing out orders like... well, like a Luthor. The actual building went remarkably swift, if not precise, and before long Lex and his child labor work force were standing back admiring the finished product. 

" _Hey Clark_ ," _Lex called back_ , " _what do you think_?" 

" _It's ah... its good_ ," _he lied, turning away quickly when he couldn't keep a straight face._

Clark didn't see Lex scowl at the less than convincing lie or notice when he bent down to pack together a tight ball of snow. He did however hear the kids giggle right before he felt the impact of it suddenly hitting him in the back of the head. Clark didn't flinch, didn't react at all. He simply adjusted the blanket around little Beth and calmly handed her back to her mother. 

"Could you hold her for a second?" 

"Sure," she said, stifling a laugh and looking for a safe spot away from what was to be a hell of a snowball fight. 

When Clark turned around Lex was grinning and backing away. When he knelt to pack his own snowball, Lex started running. He didn't get far. Lex was actually pretty fast but he was no match for Clark. Using just a fraction of his speed he tackled Lex to the ground, much to the delight of the kids and the surprise of the adults who had been watching the entire incident with undisguised interest. 

Lex twisted around trying to push Clark off but it was no use, not so much because of Clark's strength, but because Lex was laughing too hard to be even close to effective. Easily pinning the man down, Clark scooped up a handful of snow and shoved it down the neck of Lex's sweater. 

Lex yelled in mock outrage and true shock. " _Motherfu_..." 

_Quickly putting a cold hand over his mouth, Clark cut him off. "Watch you language in front of the kids," he chided then let out a embarrassingly girlie squeak when Lex suddenly managed to reverse their positions_. 

_Clark discovered a long time ago that Lex was a lot stronger than he looked, but it always surprised him anyway, surprised and comforted him. It surprised him because Lex rarely directed it at him and it comforted him, knowing that Lex could take care of himself in a fight. Which right now consisted of him dumping snow, not down Clark's shirt, but down the front of his jeans_. 

_It wasn't exactly cold but the feeling was so unfamiliar that Clark was scrambling to get it away from his skin the second than Lex leapt away from him. After that, the situation deteriorated into a flurry of screaming kids, flying snow, and pro-level football tackles_. 

Yeah, Clark remembered that day. He also remembered that night, falling asleep on the couch to the feeling of Lex's steady heartbeat under his ear and a hand gently working the curls of his hair. He remembered waking up a few hours later to Lex affectionately complaining that he was not a pillow and telling Clark that he should stay the night because it was too late to go back to the dorms. Clark agreed without argument and stumbled off to what they both called the guest room, even though it's had Clark things in it since the Tower opening. 

Thinking back on that whole day, Clark realized that Lex was right. Not once had he been worried about his strength. It hadn't even crossed his mind that he might accidentally hurt someone, not the kids or little Beth, and definitely not Lex. 

"Clark," Lex said, pulling him out of his memories and back to the castle. "Do you trust me?" 

"Yes." Completely and they both knew it. 

"Then c`mere," he coaxed, arms held out to his sides, this time in invitation instead of challenge. 

Clark was stepping forward before his mind even registered Lex's words. It was a conditioned response. Clark learned to quickly take any physical attention Lex offered before he changed his mind about giving it. And Lex changed his mind often. He would reach out to touch Clark's shoulder or arm, only to drop his hand before making contact, sit close to him on the couch then scoot away a second later. It was like, unconsciously Lex wanted to touch, but if he had time to think about it he'd stop himself. 

For the longest time Clark couldn't figure out why. It couldn't be fear of rejection because Lex _had_ to know by now that Clark would never deny him. He doubted that Lex was afraid of pressuring him. He, of all people, knew that Clark wouldn't do anything unless he wanted to. The only thing that made any sense was that Lex was doing what he always did, he was protecting Clark. And in this case, protecting Clark from himself. 

He knew that Lex was always worried about hurting him, not physically of course, but emotionally. And he could easily do it. With just a few harsh words or casual dismissal, Lex could rip him to shreds. And although Clark might be able to survive it if they were just friends, it would kill him if they were lovers. Lex knew it, and was desperately trying to keep that from happening, even if that meant denying both of them what they wanted. But it seemed that Lex had once again changed his mind about them being together and Clark was going to take whatever he could get before Lex convinced himself it was a bad idea. 

Wrapped it a tight embrace, Clark buried his face in Lex's neck and just breathed in. Luxuriating in being this close, loving the scent that he could only define as _Lex_. Loving the soft skin under his lips, the wandering hands on his back, his hips, sliding just below the waistband of his jeans. And it was so good, so utterly addictive, and so completely necessary that Clark was once again terrified that Lex was going to stop. That he would pull away in the name of friendship and leave Clark more alone then he'd ever been in his entire life. 

He couldn't let that happen. He needed to make Lex want him so much that he couldn't even think about stopping. And there was one thing that he knew Lex couldn't resist... control. Lex wanted, _needed_ control so Clark would give it to him. He'd give Lex command over what was most likely the most powerful thing on the planet. Clark would give himself. 

The first step was easier then he thought it'd be, toeing off his shoes and stripping off his jeans and boxers before Lex could say anything. Not moving, standing perfectly still as Lex took in every inch of flawless skin and effortless muscle. Trying not to flinch as the piercing gaze moved down to his groin. Feeling himself jerk, body seeking contact and finding only air. He was so hard it hurt but too needy to be embarrassed about it. 

Lex stepped closer and Clark swayed with the movement before he could stop himself. Hands clenched to his sides to keep from reaching out, Clark bowed his head and waited for Lex to figure out what he was doing, what he was giving. Heard the soft, questioning, "Clark?" and knew Lex had worked it out. 

He didn't say anything, just looked up through his eyelashes and silently begged Lex to take this from him. To take away his control, if that's what Lex needed. Waited for what felt like forever as Lex quietly studied him before giving a nearly imperceptible nod of understanding. 

Hanging his head again in both submission and relief, Clark took a calming breath. He wasn't really the yielding type, but if it got him Lex, then he'd do it. He was a little apprehensive about what was going to happen but not worried. This was Lex, after all, and Lex wouldn't hurt him. No, he'd take care of Clark in this like he did in everything else: completely, thoroughly, both selfless and selfish at the same time. Always somehow managing to give as he took, to be protective and threatening, a shell of icy indifference with a thousand emotions swirling just below the surface. 

He'd never known anyone as complex and contradictory as Lex was. A man who could love and hate with equal measure, who could mix deceit and honesty without reservation, a man who radiated such intensity that sometimes Clark had to close his eyes against it... like now. 

Completely naked, head bowed, and eyes closed, Clark could practically _feel_ the intensity as Lex's gaze raked over him. It wasn't enough. He needed Lex to touch him, and the second after the thought it, Lex did it. Palm flat against the center of this chest, fingers splayed and possessive, Lex whispered truths that had begun the instant that their worlds and lives had collided. 

"We're connected, Clark. The moment you came to Earth and turned my life upside down was the moment that we became forever and irrevocably bound. We were apart for a little while, but we found our way back to each other," Lex explained as he lifted his other hand to lightly ghost over the body in front of him. 

"And that's how it's always going to be," he continued. "No matter what happens, no matter how many times we push, or are pulled away from each other, we will always find our way back." 

It was then that Lex paused, using both hands to lift Clark's face making sure the boy was looking at him. "But it will be as equals. I have enough subordinates and servants, Clark. I don't need another one." 

"But..." Clark began to protest, not knowing what else he had to offer. 

Lex silenced him with a kiss, a light brush of lips that made Clark's breath hitch in his chest. "You used to hide your strength from me, pretend to be something less then who you are. I hated it then, so what makes you think that's what I'd want now?" 

"I don't... I didn't..." Clark was trying to take in this sudden turn of events, but Lex was tugging him down into a much deeper kiss saving him the trouble of having to answer. 

Mouths open, tongues intertwined, and feeling a firm hand on the back of his neck holding him in place, Clark just had the presence of mind to know that something wasn't quite right. Another minute of Lex doing a thorough search for his tonsils, and Clark finally figured out what was bothering him. Lex was still fully dressed, which was just... not acceptable. 

If Lex wanted Clark to be his normal, slightly presumptuous self... well, he could do that. A flurry of movement, a tiny squeak of surprise, and the clothes that Lex had been wearing were nowhere in sight. Clark honestly didn't remember stripping the man bare but he must have because Lex was gloriously naked and gently admonishing that Clark really needed to _warn_ him before he did stuff like that. 

Giving a distracted, "Sure Lex," Clark began to explore and memorize everything about the body that was so alike, yet so different, from his own. Pale instead of tan, lean corded muscle, skin all the more perfect for its flaws. Tracing over scars that were a testament to a life lived, to the things that Lex had done or had done to him. Kissing each one with a bit of reverence, a bit of awe, because even though painful, they made Lex who he was. 

Clark was licking away the hurt of a mark with a known origin when Lex impatiently guided him from the scar on his shoulder to the one on his lip. That was fine with Clark and he would have happily stayed there for a while, but Lex wrenched away, abruptly pushing him down on the bed. 

"I thought you weren't in a hurry," Clark tried to tease, but only managed to sound breathless and maybe a little nervous. 

As comfortable in bare skin as he was in Armani, Lex didn't seem to notice that he was naked as he rummaged through the night-stand. "I changed my mind," he told Clark, turning around and holding up a small tube. "And if you want to change yours, now would be a good time." 

Lex watched the flush spread over Clark's body as he recognized the tube of lubricant and couldn't help but quirk a smile. Clark was lying sprawled on the bed, naked, erect, in an unconscious pose that screamed "fuck me" and he gets embarrassed at seeing lube. Despite being eighteen and all the responsibilities he's had to shoulder, Lex had to remind himself that Clark was still young. It was easy to forget sometimes, especially since Lex didn't think he'd ever been that young himself, at least not when he was eighteen. In fact, not even when he was fourteen. 

"It _is_ okay to change your mind," Lex assured, even as he moved to straddle Clark to ensure that the boy did no such thing. 

Clark didn't answer, just let out a moan low in his throat as Lex very deliberately brought their bodies into contact. The shock of heat was more then Lex had expected and he heard himself gasp at the feel of it. 

"God, you feel good," Lex said, sounding almost surprised as he leaned down to nuzzle along Clark's neck. 

Completely focused on the taste and feel of the body underneath him, Lex barely heard the pleading noises that Clark was giving him. It wasn't until he shifted, pushed Clark's legs apart, and licked the inside of the boy's thigh did he hear the desperate choking sound and let Clark tug him up for a kiss. 

Quickly breaking away, Lex started moving back down but was stopped by strong hands holding him in place. "What's the matter?" Lex asked with a little role of his hips to encourage Clark to let him continue. 

"Too close," Clark managed to ground out, wondering how Lex could still be so calm. "It's too much and I don't want... I mean, I do want..." Taking a deep breath Clark gave up on words and slowly loosened Lex's fisted hand. 

Lex looked from the forgotten lube to Clark's face and felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He'd didn't think he'd ever seen such open need before and he knew he'd never seen it directed at him. People always wanted his name and his money, but Clark just wanted him. Wanted him so badly it looked like he was in pain, like he was going to shake apart if he couldn't have Lex right now. 

"Jesus," Lex breathed out. How long had Clark wanted him like this? What had he done to the boy by not doing anything about it? He been keeping Clark at arms length to protect him, but he'd only managed to hurt him, to hurt them both. Okay, so it was a mistake to have avoided the issue this long, but it was a mistake that Lex could fix. 

Trying to lift up, Lex found himself in a steely, and slightly panicked, embrace. Knowing that there was no way to break the hold, Lex settled his weight back down and kissed Clark as thoroughly as he knew how. 

Keeping their lips touching, Lex whispered directly into Clark's mouth, "I'm not going to stop, Clark, but you need to let me move." 

Clark only gave a sound of denial and tightened his arms. Lex grunted at the pressure and could only imagine the bruises that were forming. "I won't stop," he promised. "You just need to trust me." 

With a kiss that left them both a little dazed, Clark proved again that he did trust Lex and dropped his arms to the bed. 

"Good boy," Lex approved, sliding off and pushing Clark onto his side. 

Molding himself to Clark's back, Lex felt a shudder run through them both and knew that their first time was not going to last long. Slow and easy would come later, right now, he just needed to take Clark as badly as Clark needed to be taken. 

"Try to relax," Lex told him, wasting no time in slicking his fingers and starting his gentle, but insistent, exploration of Clark's body. Firm touches on the inside and soft kisses on the outside had Clark rocking back against Lex's hand, pleasure overcoming the unfamiliar feeling of penetration. Another finger and a brush over something inside had Clark jerking, his body begging for more when language failed him. 

Lex knew he couldn't hurt Clark physically. The stretching hadn't really been to prepare his body so much as it had been to prepare his mind for what was going to happen. But Clark very obviously didn't need any more preparation, so Lex slipped free, ignoring some surprisingly crude and vocal protests. 

Spreading lube on himself with a shaky hand, Lex gave Clark a single order before pushing inside with agonizing slowness. "Don't move until I tell you to," he directed with a steady voice that was at complete odds with his trembling body. 

Clark couldn't stop the strangled sound that seemed to have been ripped from his chest, but he did keep perfectly still. Lex had a fleeting thought about the incredible control that Clark had, but it was quickly replaced by the overwhelming heat and tightness that enveloped him. 

Bodies flush and buried as deep as he could possibly be, Lex pressed his lips to the back of Clark's neck. "You okay?" 

Clark could only nod, totally focused on the fact that Lex was inside him. It didn't hurt. Lex had been so careful that Clark doubted it would have even if he were human. He desperately wanted to move, but Lex had yet to say he could, so he just concentrated on the feeling of Lex around him, _in him_ , and moaned his approval. 

Lex cursed softly, almost reverently, as he listened to Clark. Neither of them had moved, but Clark was moaning as if they had. Lex ground his hips forward in unconscious response. Clark's startled gasp broke the restraint that was holding Lex still and he began rocking back and forth without thought, only feeling. 

With a hand on Clark's hip to guide him, Lex gave a one-word command and nearly screamed when it was obeyed instantly. "Move," he demanded, his mouth suddenly filling with the metallic taste of copper. 

It took him a second to recognize the taste as blood and to realize that he'd bitten through his own lip to keep silent. He didn't care, he couldn't even feel it. All he could feel was Clark. The only thing that existed was the body that was moving in perfect counterpoint to his own. Thrust for thrust, push and pull, it all blended together in a mindless haze. 

Feeling their movements growing erratic, Lex reached around and gripped Clark harder then he ever would have anybody else. It didn't take but a few strokes and Clark was shuddering in his arms, clenching muscles, and dragging Lex along into something close to bliss, or at least oblivion. 

Coming back to awareness was a lot like coming back to life, harsh breathing, chest painfully tight, the feeling that something monumental just happened, and Clark right there with him. The only thing missing was that fucking river, which was one thing that Lex could do without. 

Opening his eyes, Lex was surprised to see Clark facing him, even more surprised that he hadn't felt him move. But he obviously had because he was staring at Lex wearing an achingly familiar expression of wonder, shock, and relief. The only thing missing was the underlying fear that had originally been there, which once again, was something that Lex could do without. 

Grinning a little at where his circular thoughts were taking him, Lex did what only propriety and confusion had stopped him from doing years before. Lifting up a leaden hand, Lex brushed away the damp hair from Clark's forehead and was rewarded with a blinding smile and the boy's very best impression of a blanket. 

Clark was not a little guy and Lex grunted as the heavy weight settled on him like it had no intention of moving... ever. It should have felt claustrophobic, being pinned down and covered, but Lex only felt safe, protected, maybe even loved. 

Lex immediately clamped down on those thoughts before they could get away from him and mutated into something ridiculous... like hope. Hope, especially the hope of a future with Clark, was one of the few things that Lex couldn't afford to think about. Oh, he was certain that they'd be involved in each other's lives, he just doubted that it'd be as lovers or even as friends. 

No matter how perfect things were going for them, Lex couldn't help the nagging voice that was always in the back of his mind. It was the voice that gleefully and viciously whispered, `It's only a matter of time.' Time before everything fell apart, until Lex did something too _Luthor_ for Clark to ignore or forgive. Time until Clark stopped "just helping people" and turned into the hero he was meant to be. Lex hated that voice, hated its sneering and mocking tone, hated even more that, in his heart, he believed it. 

He didn't want to, it _hurt_ to believe in a future where he and Clark weren't friends but enemies. But it was so easy to imagine, so easy to see Clark standing tall and righteous vowing that the evil Lex Luthor will pay for what he'd done. It took such little effort to picture Clark handing down punishment for crimes Lex was very capable of committing. 

Lex squeezed his eyes shut against the images and inadvertently squeezed his arms tighter around Clark. Something in the gesture must have given him away because Clark pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat and mumbled, "Quit thinking. You're spoiling the mood." 

Letting out a short bark of laughter at the reprimand, Lex conceded that perhaps he was and reached down to lewdly grope Clark's ass in apology. 

Clark just snickered and happily burrowed in closer. "This is kinda like when we fall asleep on the couch," he said thoughtfully amused, "except... you know... naked." 

Lex smiled as he softly stroked from Clark's ass to his back. "Do you have any idea how many times I've imagined us naked on that couch?" 

"Really?" he asked, sounding way to pleased. 

Lex was going to say something appropriately sarcastic but was stopped by the shrilling of a cell phone. "That's mine," Clark told him before he could ask. "It's probably Mom and Dad." 

"Oh god," Lex groaned. For a while he'd actually forgotten about Clark's parents. 

"We're going to have to go talk to them." 

Damn, he was afraid Clark was going to say that. Sure he was right, but it didn't change the fact that the last thing Lex wanted to do was chat with Jonathan and Martha Kent. Martha might understand, but Lex just couldn't see Jonathan ever accepting his only son being with a Luthor, never mind that he was a guy. 

And as strong as Clark was, Lex didn't think that he could live with his father's disapproval and disappointment for long. Hell, Lex didn't want him to live with it for even a second. If anybody knew how awful a life that was, he did. 

Taking a slow breath, Lex forced himself to relax and completely focus on the way Clark felt against him. A bit ruefully Lex admitted that, it was indeed a lot like being on the couch... only naked. Tucked against each other just like they always were, Lex kept smiling even as something in his chest tightened painfully. It felt like dread. 

He knew as soon as they got out of this bed everything was going to come crashing down around them. The world of Metropolis might not care if they were together, but planet Smallville would. And as much as Lex tried to ignore it, there would always be a part of Smallville in Clark. 

It was that part that would help bring to pass a painful and unwanted future, a part that would eventually make Clark pull away from him. And when that happened, Lex would let him go. It would be a futile act to try and hold on. Lex was powerful but Clark was strong, strong enough to rip away the roof of a Porsche and save him and strong enough to rip out his heart and destroy him. Lex wondered how long he had before that happened. He guessed only as long as it took to drive from the Luthor castle to the Kent farm. 

"Lex," Clark said, wiggling a bit, "we kinda have to get up." 

"Yeah," he agreed, making no effort to move. 

Clark gave a little laugh and twisted in his arms. "That means you're gonna have to let me go." 

"I know," Lex said, even as he uselessly tightened his hold. "Just... not yet." 


End file.
